Hippies&Heros

Hippies&Heros
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Juliette, Georgia, USA
Birthday
January 01
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megaphone
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Hippies & Heros
Bio
My Marine and I have been married sixteen years and counting. We love each other a great deal, even if our day to day existence can get quite testy. We say we are each other's last spouse. CC was hit by recoilless rifle round in Vietnam in 1969 and was retired from the Marines with over 100% in disabilities. He has led a colorful life and now struggles as his mobility deteriorates and the amount of pain he is in accelerates. I am the Aaron to his Moses because I am his story teller, the chronicler of his escapades. This blog is mostly about our current VA experiences and what is like to live with a war veteran 40 years after the fact of war. PS, I am friending all who are veterans, or families of veterans (whether I agree with their posts or not) This is to make this a site where you can see the full diversity of those who pay for our wars. So if you "come out" as a veteran, family member or someone devoted to their issues, I will friend you.

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Salon.com
Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 12, 2009 3:56PM

The Appointment

Rate: 15 Flag

 

CCredcross 

Oh, how I wish I could take photos inside the VA. CC looked like himself on a normal day wandering around in his wheelchair in the Compensation & Pension division of the VA hospital.  He had on his green grunt t-shirt, a green towel around his neck, wheel chair gloves, elbow braces, leg brace, his birth control glasses, with sunglasses atop them and here is where the similarity stops. He had in his lap a folder with big black letters on them: PTSD.  He waved the folder at the lady checking people in, and it looked for all the world like a big caution sign. 

Danger, danger, PTSD alert.

I was reminded of our first trip to Augusta last year about this time.  CC had recently had a seizure. We went to the coast for the Altamaha RiverKeepers Clam Jam and next thing I know he is laying under a big oak tree looking like he is getting ready to pass over into the next realm. We had thought killing the extra set of nerves in his heart was going to take care of those pesky things. 

After that episode, we went to a regularly scheduled appointment in Augusta to see the doctor  treating all the iron in CC's blood that isn't supposed to accumulate (but does) and therefore endangers his liver.  The doctor maintained all the bloodletting in the world wasn't going to help CC's liver if he didn't stop drinking.  So CC stopped drinking.  No more seizures. Hopefully that addressed the problem.

The trip to Augusta last year was a PTSD nightmare.  We didn't know the way, CC was in pain, and all his triggers had triggered. Once we got there, they informed CC his appointment had been canceled.  He must of had a certain look in his eye - like he was carrying a PTSD sign or something - and he said, "you tell that to my menopausal wife." They let him see a doctor right off and he told CC the bad news about his drinking days being over.

Back to the present visit, the evaluation. CC flashed his PTSD sign at the receptionist, but he is not in the dangerous, swampy waters denoting combat mode, thank goodness. So far our trip had been a holiday.

bottomramp 

We took in the Augusta River Walk, a delightful place even someone in a wheelchair can enjoy (steep, long ramp - caution). We had a great meal at The Bonefish the night before and a Starbucks breakfast. Life was good.

riverCCweb 

The psychologist evaluating CC informed me there was not enough room for me in the examining room. This was  between him and CC, so I don't know too much of what went on except for the fragments CC has told me about.

This I know.  CC is a combat wounded veteran. Just last week we went to the enrollment office in Dublin to make sure his ID has Purple Heart written on it. His records have not accurately reflected the cause of his injuries. CC is on a mission to have all of this corrected. To get his ID changed, they copied his DD-whatever form (which has through CC's long effort now shows more information), will send the form to Washington DC and they will change it there.

This important for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, with Purple Heart on his ID card; CC becomes one of the most high ranking individuals at the facility. He was blown up in war. The only people who are in line in front of him are POWs.  Therefore if he is in dire need of help, the Purple Heart on his ID will ensure quick service.

The second reason is because his records should (SHOULD) reflect what actually happened.  Someone's careless misconstruing of the details isn't right.  The records should show the facts.

Back to Augusta (sorry for all the wandering around). The psychologist's first words were, "two purple hearts, that ought to do it."  Plus CC has a  combat action ribbon, and four bronze  stars which show how many operations he participated in.

CC was asked to fold paper in half,  an an easily accomplished task. The psychologist told him his brain was still working. Another exercise was to write a sentence, any sentence.  CC: "Be alert!" It was the shortest sentence he could come up with which wasn't one word. Another question he was asked was "what would he do in a crowded theater and saw a fire had broken out?"

The exam took an hour and a half.  For most of the people CC knows who had similar evaluations;  theirs only lasted about 30 minutes at the most. We don't know the results yet, and it will be awhile before we do. Stay tuned. 


 

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Friend of mine was at the shrinks office and the shirink told my buddy that he wasnt in touch with reality - my buddy asked him if that ment if he took a swing at the docs nose he wasn't gonna hit it?

The doc said, yes thats just what I mean. You have lost touch with reality. In a few seconds the doc was on the floor - and my buddy was locked up and drugged for about a month.

Anyway nice pics ! Keep at them. And get your congressmen on the case. Nothing the VA hates more than that!
Sounds like progress, even without the results of the evaluation. Way to keep on keepin' on!
Stay the course! Good luck, and I hope all turns out well in the end.
All my love and hope is with you both - sending out good ::ju ju:: over the wires now. Thank you for such a touching, honest post. (Rated)
As WalkAway, with a Purple Heart he should be able to jump ahead. He's proved his meddle. He shouldn't have to do it again in a friggin' VA!
okay! I am at a neighbors house.
o, if only? a VAMC cooked beans.
Sauerkraut, potato, kale greens,
purple beans, a purple cabbage,
and compensated for war's grief!
I'm not sure? Eat Celery Roots:`
Celery roots? Puree the potato!
I must shush? People care. Yea!
I'm gonna serve greens and sop!
a kiss for sops and a smooch Ya!
Tell Ya mate to behave? Oh, my!
Whatever? Sip soup and slurp it!
I'm asking:`Che Pasa?O amiga-o!
Walk in the amiga lavatory? huh!
No. behave.Ya eat buttered beans!
Sounds like you are on top of everything. Just don't give up as if you would. I am signing my husband up for his VA to get him off my insurance so we will have some money instead of paying $850.00 a month. Any tips I should know?
I love your writing and look forward to more.
Snowden, whoa, that is quite a story.

Owl, yes, CC is addressing his issues.

Andy, staying the course!

Walk Away, thanks for the encouraging words. If you have dealt with the VA, it should all be very familiar.

Kate, we'll take all the good juju you can send out.

Scanner, you are right, the VA is the last place any of you veterans should have to be proving your meddle.

Art, compensating for war's grief... I'm working for the day when we don't have war causing that kind of grief.

Lunchlady, (my son is a lunchlady too - love your moniker) If your husband is a combat veteran, I suggest going to the nearest Vet Center and let a counselor point you in the correct direction (and other vets will too, if he will join a group). If they can get you to a service officer, then you are really headed in an even better direction.
First H&H congrats on the EP, and to think I just connected with you last week, I knew your writing was visceral and real. As for your content: keep on keeping the strength, as you maneuver this system, I am so sorry it takes so much of your own precious time. Love to your and CC.
I am 100% Disabled Combat Vietnam Veteran, USAF. Recipient of AFCross, 2 PH, and a drawer full of other medals. Your husband NEEDS to have his awards signified on his DD-214 and ID. As I get older my body is becoming more and more deteriorated. I have always been treated well at the VA, but now they have been sending me to private institutions that are better suited to my needs. With the returning Veterans now having to be treated things like PTSD are now coming to the forefront in the news and at the VA. The result's have been Veterans who have long suffered these conditions have been put at the back of the list. The VA will frequently tell an aging Veteran that the cause of his illness at current is the result of drinking, old age, or anything else other than what it is. They just didn't discover it ( PTSD ) they didn't want to acknowledge it. Ask your husband what is the first question they usually ask at triage ( bp, temp, etc. ) I'll bet you that it has been " Are you having any suicidal thoughts today, or have you had any thoughts about harming yourself or others anytime." My best to him and you, we will not be forgotten. older/exasperated
older/exasperated - thanks. Until CC got the PTSD diagnosis last year, they didn't ask him those questions, but now they do. He only began going back to the VA about a year and a half ago when his hip started hurting. Before then he used Tricare. It was a long journey back to the VA which began with getting involved with other veterans on other levels and hearing their experiences at the VA. We have gotten lots of support and help from the VA though it is a slow and sometimes torturous process. It has been an eye opening and interesting process for me.

Rita, thanks for coming by. I was shocked to get an EP. I must say I wasn't expecting it.
Thanks for writing about her experiences. I found this quite an elightening post. I didn't know this stuff about Purple Hearts, ID cards, and the VA. My father was a Marine for 20 years, served 4 tours in Vietnam including participating in the evacuation of Saigon flying people from the embassy to ships off the coast. He has two Purple hearts and was shot down twice. Despite his back injury he stayed in the Corps. He's loathe to use the VA because of bad experiences there. I don't know what his ID card says, but if being a wounded vet gets you extra attention, I don't think he's aware of that. All the best to you and CC. Semper Fi.
"her" is supposed to be "your" in my previous comment. OpenSalon could use an edit function for comments.
my cousin, who is a brother to me, has ptsd, but refused to go to the VA to have it diagnosed until he was 60, and so OCD he couldn't function. He basically "didn't have a life" as it would normally be described, won't join any support groups, and won't talk about it. i've kept in touch with him through the years and made many invitations to him of many sorts but he rarely accepts. i don't know what else to do at this point but continue to let him know I am here for him and care. (i even took my wife with me to celebrate the millenium with him on the beach in fla., which was the last time i saw him) god knows how many men's lives and those they love are being destroyed now in I and A. (My cousin is a limbaugh republican and pro-war. we don't talk politics. he goes nuts.)
I spent two and one-half years (1967-1970) in the area between Con Thien and Tam Ky. Part of 7th Comm Bn - went on operations with 9th Marines, 7th Marines, 5th Marines, Korean Marines, Combined Action Program. Wounded once - in addition to the heart, I had three rows of ribbons signifying something or another about what happened in Vietnam.

I suppose I have PTSD, never actually diagnosed. When I first got home it was either that I was a chump for volunteering for the Marines or I was a crybaby because I was having problems getting on with my life.

Fortunately I met a wonderful young lady who has stayed with me for over 38 years during which I have bumped from pillar to post trying to get something positive going in my life. That girl told me earlier this year she wanted me out of her life. She is tired of putting up with me. So I am out of her life.

Several years ago I communicated with the VA and since I have no service connected disabilities they won't do anything about me. I did get the GI bill in the 70s for college and got a VA loan for the house I used to live in.

I absolutely do not begrudge CC anything he has received. I just want those of you who might read this that not all wounded, decorated veterans can get help. In fact the VA told me when I was communicating with them that the Purple Heart meant absolutely nothing since I was not disabled because of my wounds.

I sincerely hope you all will get well taken care of. I am confident that the VA is coming from a good place and will really try to help old Marines and doggies who qualify.
My 8 yrs Psychiatry Tenure with a central La. VAMC ended forcefully in total Professional demise. I'am looking inevitably at Bankruptcy, unemployment benefits and relocation to my place of origin. And it all started in few yrs back when after reading 2006 NIH'S Symposium Results; "Sleep Disorders & Sleep Deprivation: An Unmet Public Health Problem". Its epilogue emphatically recommends like in a Militant Fashion, all Primary Care Providers and Psychiatrists(that its me) & Medical Specialists as well, to medically asses patients for Sleep Disorders and that I energetically did. To make story short, Supervisor, two hired Community Lawyers, Union Repesentatives, etc, conspired in the making of a Wrongfull Performance Diciplinary Case Action. And after nearly two years of fighting "City Hall", I was blackballed from the Federal Gvmt. Workforce. Trying to give your best medically, provide Gold Standard Medical Care is just short of the VA Agenda.
And it so happened that the henchman & Supervisor who initiated all of this situation at this time is facing a felony conviction and minimum 5 yrs prison term for three consecutive DWI in a two yrs time and during all the while he was performing my Supervisory. Responsabilities. Ain't that cute!
I once asked a reputable colleague, a PhD Psychologist in charge of providing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy how would this treatment modality be the VA panacea in targeting absolute medical treatment to caseloads full of Combat Exposed PTSD VETS when there exist a physiological dearrangement within the brain in all of these patients which occurs during a "abnormal sleep" which is so rampant with PTSD. Silent and mimicking response ensued.
My clinical expirience has been that SRRI'S AND ALIKE only brings partial remission and decrescendo improvement to any underlying Affective Disorder as well as PTSD. The common denominator among all of these partial remitters, is guess what, chronic insomnia. Ambien and alike leaves the underlying neuropathophysiology as is.

There exist vital and crucial brain neuropathophysiology during our sleep stages and/or architecture particularly with REM & Non-REM Sleep Stages that when impaired leads to long term chronic degenerating & irreversible Medical Conditions and Affective Disorders too. "Inconclusive clincial study"as fervent critics might respond, nonetheless, it is well documented in the Sleep Medicine Literature. REM Stage Sleep Behaviour Disorder, so common in combat exposed Vets, leads to Parkinsons Disease in their six decade in 60-70% of patients, as an example.
Sleep Disorder medical investigations began many moons ago, back in 1956 with the discovery of REM sleep proper,some 40 plus years ago.
Unfortunately, anyone suffering from PTSD generaly is not ordered a overnight Polysomnography, to R/O Obstructive Sleep Apnea so frecuent with combat exposed Vets(pds. where brain goes without sustainable amount of O2 & hyperarouses the autonomic nervous system,triggers excess amount of Cytokines), Nocturnal Myoclonus such as Restless Leg Synd also so rampant among PTSD Vets(disrupts sleep architecture and hyperarouses the Autonomic Nervous System & triggers excess amounts of Cytokines) then what is the good use behind CBT. In general and as well, there exist Circadian Disynchrony(so rampant among PTSD Vets), the biological clock disfunctions such as Delayed Phase Sleep Disorder. This is just another chapter in this conundrum.
Is it a matter of cost-containment or just result of the Medical Industry?
Majority of Primary Care Providers traditionally obtain just a few hrs of Sleep medical theory during Medical School Training and Post-Medical Degree Training and still is the case. Comprehensive across the board re-structuralization still needs to be desired in medical world of ours.
Autonomic Nervous System is responsible of heart rythm irregularities, stroke, hypertensive crisis, etc. Cytokines a inflamatory agent is responsible of other host of medical conditions. And all this is not taking into account all the impact of it in the brains Pre-Frontal Cortex, home of the Working Memory & Executive Function and affective modulation. I just dont know.