So say you're sitting in a bar. It's one of those new bars downtown, on top of an office building and the entire city can be seen below. You're meeting some friends for drinks. You've just had a glass of Jameson's on the rocks, and you didn't realize, a month ago,… Read full post »

Once upon a time, this assistant had a lover. He wasn't a daytime lover, he wasn't even a Friday night lover, he was just a boy that gave me many an impassioned kiss in the dark. He made me forget the insecurity that I felt as an assistant, a mere minion… Read full post »

I have impossible crushes. It's an easy thing to do in this city as it is chock full of triple threats: looks, charm, talent. Yes, you can find these men and women in any town in America, but the caliber in Los Angeles, as well as in New York, I'm sure,… Read full post »

'Tis the season, after all.

 One of my twitter friends has been making note of all the signs that the holiday season is officially upon us; specifically, Christmas Tree lots even if it's not Thanksgiving yet, and Hunky Santas at the Beverly Center. I'll take a Hunky Santa any day of… Read full post »

I just watched the Diane Sawyer interview with Rihanna. I admire Rihanna for going through with this interview. She didn't need to say anything. She could have kept this part of her life to herself, she could have kept silent and I would have still admired her for surviving, for being… Read full post »

The last vacation I took was to go to a table reading of an upcoming episode for the next season of the Sarah Silverman Program. It was the happiest day of 2009 thus far.

Tomorrow, I'm taking another day off and traveling to Frisco. A friend of mine is celebrating the… Read full post »

It's surreal.

Everything is dark, murky, black ink. Swirls of light, like tendrils of smoke, begin to illuminate the room where I am. I am walking through a tunnel of some sort. No. A hallway. I can't find my way. I need help. I need to send an email to my… Read full post »

Eating strawberries and drinking chardonnay that I got from Albertsons for a good deal. Who wants some of this?

Douchebags. Douchebags everywhere. I'm lookin at you Jay Leno.

The guy on Fox News 11 has an asschin.  And he's surrounded by boobs. I guess that means he wins at life.… Read full post »

Love, for me, is spelled F.O.O.D.

Luckily, they sell that at the restaurant I went to last night, called Desert Rose. This wasn't just a regular dinner at a newly discovered Los Feliz restaurant, no sir. Any and every time I leave the house something strange and unusual seems to… Read full post »

As much as I love this town because it is interesting and twisted and strange and dark and genuine and quirky and hard to define and sprawling and adventurous and optimistic and gorgeous, there's one thing it is that I will never be able to enjoy or avoid. Cocky as fuck.… Read full post »

If you're going to get shoes repaired, Arturo's in Beverly Hills is excellent.

For birthday gifts for grown ups, wine and liqour from Wally's in Westwood or one of the Vendome stores, particularly the one in Studio City is where you want to go.

For dry cleaning and minor tailoring, take your garments… Read full post »

I do a lot of driving. I drive to pick stuff up, I drive to drop stuff off, I drive around in circles waiting for something to be ready to be picked up, I drive to Sherman Oaks, Hollywood, Burbank, West Hollywood, Century City and beyond. That means a lot of… Read full post »

This blog contains some slightly inflammatory comments, so if you don't want to hear me get up on my high horse in regards to this blog post, please keep browsing. 

Some lady posted an argument on how racist the show Community is and her self-righteous blog got on the cover. So… Read full post »

I will not tell you who I work for. That's it. I used to do it when people would ask me what I did for a living and saying "I'm a personal assistant" wasn't good enough. So quit asking me, I'm done.

I know it's pretty cool to work for someone… Read full post »

The golden years of my twenties are now dwindling away and I feel like I have to take advantage of being young and fun, even though my body is telling me that I have to take better care of myself if I want to continue behaving the way I do.

Yesterday,… Read full post »

Thought: Listening to this adorable singer on the 3rd St. Promenade - she's making a toothless man smile. What a great day to be alive in this absolutely optimistic city. I might have bills to pay, and I might be alone, but shit, if an adorable street singer can make this… Read full post »

There are three things a writer should know and be able to reveal about a character: it's psychology, it's sociology, it's physiology. Lajos Egri calls it the Bone Structure. That sounds like a little much, doesn't it? Lajos is sort of overdoing it here, right? I was thinking about it, and… Read full post »

It's my birthday today.

Before any of you start sending me messages and comments with all of your lovely well-wishing and words of wisdom, let me just tell you right now, as you can probably tell by my most recent posts, that I am freaking out. Freaking. Out. 

It might… Read full post »

When I was a young playwright, I was taught a few things that I will gladly share with you dramatic writers out there:

1) Character + Action = Drama. A story is pushed along by a character pursuing what the character wants, when a character takes action.

2) When a… Read full post »

Dear Baby,

I hope you're not too upset that you're not going to be coming into the world until quite awhile after I'd planned to have you. Honestly, if I could have figured it out earlier, I would have. I wanted to have you by the time I turned 27, which… Read full post »

It seems that a lot of one's attitude is a decision one makes about how to feel when confronted with different situations. For example (and I'm well-aware of how juvenile this is going to sound), the other day, I invited a guy via facebook events to my birthday celebrations and he… Read full post »

The other night I was invited to this mixer geared towards writer's assistants on TV shows. I figured it would be good to go, seeing as I'd like to be a writer one day, and maybe these people would be good contacts, and more importantly, I might  make a friend or… Read full post »

About a month ago, I was living in an apartment that I could no longer afford, I was reeling from the heartache of a post-adolescent unrequited love, and I was dealing with a serious addiction to McDonalds quarter pounders; the combination of which fueled a miserable existence of muffin tops, ill-fit… Read full post »

The story I'm about to tell is a story about unrequited love. No no. It's a story about how my life is full of moments wherein the reality of living in this city often resembles a romantic comedy. OK, that's not exactly it. It's an anecdote with semi-romantic topnotes. Basically,… Read full post »