After reading this post, I felt the need to write a similar letter, considering I've been running into such interesting characters recently. Maybe it's because I've been hanging out with a friend of mine from Chicago and through her curious and open eyes, it's easier to remember the things that… Read full post »

Once upon a time, this assistant had a lover. He wasn't a daytime lover, he wasn't even a Friday night lover, he was just a boy that gave me many an impassioned kiss in the dark. He made me forget the insecurity that I felt as an assistant, a mere minion… Read full post »

'Tis the season, after all.

 One of my twitter friends has been making note of all the signs that the holiday season is officially upon us; specifically, Christmas Tree lots even if it's not Thanksgiving yet, and Hunky Santas at the Beverly Center. I'll take a Hunky Santa any day of… Read full post »

Eating strawberries and drinking chardonnay that I got from Albertsons for a good deal. Who wants some of this?

Douchebags. Douchebags everywhere. I'm lookin at you Jay Leno.

The guy on Fox News 11 has an asschin.  And he's surrounded by boobs. I guess that means he wins at life.… Read full post »

As much as I love this town because it is interesting and twisted and strange and dark and genuine and quirky and hard to define and sprawling and adventurous and optimistic and gorgeous, there's one thing it is that I will never be able to enjoy or avoid. Cocky as fuck.… Read full post »

This blog contains some slightly inflammatory comments, so if you don't want to hear me get up on my high horse in regards to this blog post, please keep browsing. 

Some lady posted an argument on how racist the show Community is and her self-righteous blog got on the cover. So… Read full post »

When I was a young playwright, I was taught a few things that I will gladly share with you dramatic writers out there:

1) Character + Action = Drama. A story is pushed along by a character pursuing what the character wants, when a character takes action.

2) When a… Read full post »

Dear Baby,

I hope you're not too upset that you're not going to be coming into the world until quite awhile after I'd planned to have you. Honestly, if I could have figured it out earlier, I would have. I wanted to have you by the time I turned 27, which… Read full post »

The other night I was invited to this mixer geared towards writer's assistants on TV shows. I figured it would be good to go, seeing as I'd like to be a writer one day, and maybe these people would be good contacts, and more importantly, I might  make a friend or… Read full post »

I signed up for this job knowing that it would be a lonely one and for the most part I would be on my own. Not in the way that James Bond works alone, because he always seems to have people helping him out along the way and hot girls to… Read full post »

I've been in heat.

A commercial came on TV the other day advertising for a razor and skantily clad male swimmers, a la Michael Phelps (but sexier in the face)  were wearing speedos and showing off their pecorals and my jaw simply dropped as pornographic images filled my head. Suffice… Read full post »

One of my biggest tasks as Office Manager of the prestigious production company was cleaning out the storage closet.

There's that old joke, where someone opens a door and a million circus balls, balloons, stuffed animals or sports equipment fall on the foolish door opener because the room inside has… Read full post »

It's not every day that you work with a particularly hot and vacant intern. Days such as these should be recorded for future reference because it is fascinating, and kind of awesome the way men will struggle to maintain professionalism and then fail.

One summer, at one of my… Read full post »

When I was a young college girl attending theatre school, I was not the fabulous and ultra savvy Hollywood Assistant you see before you. I was awkward, shy and one of three burgeoning thespians that didn't want to be an actress. I could not, for the life of me, figure… Read full post »

Hello Open Salon! I am still recovering from my return back to Los Angeles, so I've asked another lovely entertainment assistant, CaramelX, to guest blog for me. Enjoy her tale!

As assistants, everybody knows it is our job to be efficient gatekeepers. Sometimes we begrudgingly become psychotherap… Read full post »

I called up the Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills once when I was working for a another movie director (I'll call him Mr. G). He was supposed to leave a package of autographs for me to pick up at concierge. The concierge loved Mr. G, as he was one of the… Read full post »

I don't have very many business acquaintances. It's just not my style. But business drinks are one of those things that you have to accept as part of the lifestyle of this career path.

I worked in a small office with three other female assistants. They all had their personalities,… Read full post »

The phones were ringing off the hook the day he arrived. My new boss walked in the door with a briefcase in one hand, sporting a longish mop of hair on his head. This was B. He stood dressed in a teacher's corduroy sport coat, smiling uncomfortably at me while I… Read full post »

The funny thing about my Amsterdam experience was just how little I do remember. It's my inability to remember that makes it so memorable.

So I smoked a lot of pot the moment I got a chance to step into a coffee shop. And mom, before you start hyperventilating, let… Read full post »

When I graduated college, I began an internship with a production company affiliated with Warner Brothers. The offices overlooked the WB lot, the watertower prominently displayed through the bay windows behind the receptionist's desk. The tasks of the internship were to read scripts and write coverag… Read full post »

Four Christmases, starring the charming Reese Witherspoon and that silver-tongued lothario, Vince Vaughn, made $46.1 million at the box office this past weekend. $46.1 million! Twilight, the sugar coated teen sensation that blew the tops off of movie theatres with the shrills of a million little angs… Read full post »

My third job working in the entertainment business ended up being for the director I most admired in all the world. OK, well, I wasn't working for him, I was working for his company. I was an office manager in the LA branch of a multi-national production company that boasted edgy… Read full post »