The consensus is that most people would make an omelet using two to three eggs, or two eggs per person if one decided to make it using four and split it up. Omelets can be very politically correct. Nary a Birther will find cause to refuse one based on the fact that the egg was alive, and the L’s of the LGBT’s have pro-egg preferences, partnering with other egg filled humans. If you are a dairy free person or a Vegan, whatever your political persuasion, just substitute some soy or use your imagination. You are still part of the scrambled up USA, so please keep eating and read on.

The majority of us have eaten a egg or two in our lives, both scrambled, omletted, and maybe just barely cooked on one side. I know that the living conditions of many of the chickens is terrible, just like the living conditions of the people who eat the eggs, but let me err from that argument at the present time.

I just want to bask in the happy reality that many Republicans, Democrats, Independents and maybe even Greens all have at least one thing in common. Eggs taste like eggs and there really isn’t a great substitute. Chickens can taste like anything and often do. Permit me to leave which came first for another day, since even though most like to eat eggs, and many like to eat chickens, fists start a flying, spittle is spat, and words are like daggers when we stop the eating and start the arguing on that point.

Omelets seem so organized, like a well laid out plan. Both sides are equal and when prepared correctly seem like a culinary architectural masterpiece even when it is in a roll. They are regal like the French Court of old, and the French saved our arses from those terrible colonizing Brits if memory serves. To look at France now, one could hardly imagine that such a thing could have sprouted from there. Sorry Greens to borrow vegetable terms but greens can play a part in this. 

We add some ingredients like cheese, vegetables, meat, and my favorite, chili, to our omelets. If you’ve ever tried to make scrambled eggs with chili you’ll know the illogic there.  The polls indicate, I actually just took my own poll but that has been rather popular lately, that most Americans would prefer something in their omelet besides eggs, many like their scrambled eggs without extra ingredients, and eating a sunny side up egg won’t necessarily make you any happier than eating either of the previous options.

In reality, we as a country are a scrambled up bunch of eggs with many ingredients and very diverse. I don’t every think we can be an omelet. It’s kind of like the old adage ‘Once a cucumber becomes a pickle it can’t go back to being a cucumber.’ I threw that one in for all my vegetarian friends who getting sick of me comparing them to egg dishes.

So maybe the idea of our country as an omelet is naïve and contrary to reality. Both halves equally supporting the IDEALLY tasty ingredients inside, biting in to briefly savor the unadulterated egg, assuming it’s not smothered with my favorite chili or sour cream on the outside, before rewarding your taste buds with the ingredients you choose as the filling. It reminds me of a neighborhood. Some people, not all, get to choose where they live, their neighbors, churches, stores and the schools that they frequent. Others, due to their societal socio-economic position, do not have those choices or they are substantially diminished. They eat whatever scrambled mess they are served, grateful just to have food on their plate. 

I like eating my scrambled eggs with chili on the side because it closer represents reality to me. When I eat, I don’t want surreal things staring me in the face. For that there is Realty TV.  Throw in whatever you have handy that day, prepare each part in the correct order. Sauté the mushrooms first, then add all that bad cheese at the end once the eggs are dry enough.  If chili is on the agenda I put it on the side and dip as I please. This is a free country after all!!! I have personally given up trying to make omelets because they represent a projecting of perfection that runs against my desire to eat at peace with reality. Oh, and of course scrambled eggs are just plain easier to make all things considered.

Romney wants to fire the bird. I wonder what he plans to do to the eggs if the bird has flown, or in this case been evicted from the coop. At that point it won’t matter which came first. I bet he eats omelets. Or as he probably says it “OH, ME LET?”.