hyblaean- Julie

hyblaean- Julie
Location
Chicagoish, Illinois, USA
Birthday
September 30
Bio
42; army brat; bisexual... open relationship with my female partner of 11 years; perpetually confused, which makes me look like i'm doing a ditzy act, but actually it's not put on; middle class in cash if not culture (freaking finally); INFP/INFJ; SSRI, lithium, nicotine lozenge and caffeine dependent. Driven to laziness, odd fits of needing to 'fix' things, subthreshold hypomanic moments of productiveness (rarely) and random weirdness (often). --------------------------- If you have regular suicidal thoughts, please try lithium. It's worth a shot and has worked wonders for me.

MY RECENT POSTS

Hyblaean- Julie's Links

Salon.com
AUGUST 15, 2014 3:16AM

Dr. White

it's never occured to me to look for your obit
and now here i sift
thinking of her perfection led me to your...
what do I think of you now?
it should be nothing after 20 years, but still I seethe
probably always will
part of me will sing a shout of… Read full post »
Comments are now closed for this post.
AUGUST 9, 2014 5:16AM

Margaret Atwood

structure and grief
the me that is no longer me
battened down with chemicals and 
reality
i used to inhale and wallow 
the sparks coming fast and constant 
or the not at all of grey
mostly gray
starvation and dialtone
the waiting

you were my god then
more and more… Read full post »
Comments are now closed for this post.
JULY 27, 2014 1:10AM

pulling my hair out

god i can feel it waiting out of reach
just coming to a head
something ready to burst free

i can't tell if it's an idea
a poem 
a thought 
a connection
it's so close and i 
can't.get.to.it

have to just relax and wait for it
like an orgasm… Read full post »
Comments are now closed for this post.
JULY 19, 2014 4:30AM

80 children

the military machine-
i am watching the dust of its passing 
a great cloud obscuring facts and details
having been part of the baggage train i know its indifference
the absolute lack of respect for individual life

and we are all people
within and without
dragged along until 
Comments are now closed for this post.
MAY 26, 2014 7:04AM

Dr David Garfield

 3.29.14
 
looking at all he has done for me, the clarity, the belief in myself
he's Hermes and Charon all rolled into one
i could worship him, but he seems to lack that need
instead i follow, footstep in footstep, the path he has tread in my heart
finding my… Read full post »
Comments are now closed for this post.
SEPTEMBER 12, 2012 1:55AM

I will miss you.

and thank you

JULY 6, 2012 3:27AM

Heather- she who soars

wrote this for my sister back on Oct 16th two years ago. She's not blood related to me, but we have been friends since college, and I've known her for longer than I've not.

I had to sit here and think what this poem was about originally... I think it… Read full post »

JULY 3, 2012 5:56PM

and so I look away

this is not what I came here for
you promised me amber waves of grain bitch!
where is my sea to shining sea?!

....my electric torch forever burning?

I never paid for this country,
don't own it, don't smell it, don't belong to it in any sense
but I disown it, disown you completely… Read full post »

JUNE 19, 2012 4:14AM

do they speak

or do they act

the speech winds itself around the truth
caresses it, fondles it, placates it

and I am on his lap lolling as he's talking to someone else
not a care in the world, he is mine

until he his hers, and hers, and hers, and hers
the random chattering of voices… Read full post »

JUNE 2, 2012 3:55AM

Maenad

they circled and circled in joy
in frenzy, in lack of anything better to do
drunk revelers at a orgy of words
a glut of projections and possibilities

and we are all stuck here, in the sussing out
in the finding

that we are not alone at all

MAY 29, 2012 4:06AM

what can I tell without telling?

can i tell of the splash, the sheer sheet of water, the drenching wetness as it soaked through my scrubs?
of your face in that moment, the rage and helplessness?

how about your immediate friendship the next day?
the theories you shared that rocked me to the core with how deeply they did… Read full post »

MAY 24, 2012 11:03AM

ARGGG- Greenheron's challenge

ARGGG

 

and yeah, I know I draw about as well as I sing. Let's see you do better! :D Read full post »

What i shouldn't want
the heat, the energy of rage
but this is war
lust and annihilation
the utter consumption of me
to birth a child
the saddling of obligation
of your triumph inside my body
is it any wonder i wish to kill you
to be killed by you
plowed and planted
harvested and barren
the seasons march on
and w… Read full post »

MAY 14, 2012 3:19PM

off to work

door still open from letting the dogs out
bags packed, pills popped
thoughts thought, should I answer that email?

no time
always no time
but this too shall pass

and I will be old and sleepy
sitting alone in a quiet room
books no longer of interest, just memories
and dreams of things done and not done… Read full post »

MAY 1, 2012 7:58AM

stfu

i couldn't hear you
you were talking too much

the in an out of your breath
a rush, a headlong flight into
trepidation, predation
nervously devouring us all as we listened

to you prattle on about the weather
the thes ands she hes
blah, blah, blah
where are you in all of this mess?

 



this…

Read full post »

APRIL 17, 2012 9:43PM

i love you

i love you
i roll you over and over in my thoughts
the tongue of my mind caressing the flavor that is you

no rhyme or reason today
just endless lapping of watery winter at my eyes
the melting of spring into something more harsh

I love you i say
but not where anyone can hear… Read full post »

APRIL 11, 2012 12:55AM

limitless

my emotions for you are limitless in their lack of existence
you are profoundly boring, you and your ilk
seeking to dominate when you find no other man about
always quick to say shut up and sit down
what do you know? (you are a woman is what is implied)

of course you wouldn't see… Read full post »

MARCH 27, 2012 9:38PM

Tink Top

Comments are now closed for this post.

H is getting out of jail April 2nd. She's the smartest one (including Karen) and most determined one on that side of the family. She always wanted to be a doctor and instead she ended up a drug dealer. I can only guess that it was the most lucrative option open… Read full post »

MARCH 17, 2012 9:15PM

Brene Brown- listening to shame

MARCH 13, 2012 2:47AM

Sonny came home alright

Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
     Sunny came home to her favorite room
What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?
     Sunny sat down in the kitchen
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,
  &nbs… Read full post »

MARCH 6, 2012 6:33AM

33 for Candace

1. Your main trait: dogged
2. The quality you like best in a man: kindness
3. The quality you like best in a woman: kindness
4. Your main flaw:  dogged
5. Last time you cried: a day or two ago at lunch
6. Ideal job: psych nurse
7. Scent of a place: my cat/dog funk home
8. Beloved… Read full post »

MARCH 3, 2012 1:16AM

eh? dunno what the heck this is

Riding in the car, like Rita's last poem, I never know how tired I am until I try to drive- the road buckling underneath me in dark damp waves, just let me make it home please, let me ride through this and make it home. The music is registering as abnormally… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 11, 2012 8:36PM

Whitney

you were perfect
every note, line, and curve
I was awkward, ungainly, more like than not to say the unthinkable

and you sang there shining like the sun

Comments are now closed for this post.
FEBRUARY 4, 2012 2:47AM

For Rita- I found 80s pics

1980S

first one is early 80s second one late 80s ...damn I miss big hair