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I Love Life

I Love Life
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June 28
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I love learning and am constantly delighted when that happens. There is so much I want to know and experience.

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Salon.com
AUGUST 6, 2009 12:41AM

Love At 50

Rate: 16 Flag

Although there is not much I like about being fifty years old, there is one quality about being middle aged that I truly appreciate and treasure. I am abundantly more confident about who I am which means  I am more free to express my love for  others. I like that!
 

 If  I want to tell someone I love them, man or woman, I just  do it... without the fears that  used to freeze me and make me question every motive.   As a matter of fact, now, I almost feel compelled to tell people that I love them.  Why not tell them?  Why  would I want to keep my love for another human being to myself?  What good does that do?  Because of my age, I am not afraid to express myself....I am not afraid to be me and to tell the truth....especially when that truth concerns letting someone know that I care and love him/her. The way I see it,  expressing love for someone makes ME feel good.  It adds joy to my life.  Hopefully, the person I'm expressing my love to, is also feeling happier and a little taller knowing that he/she is loved.  In my opinion, it's a "win-win" situation.  Both parties gain.
 
When I was younger, I wouldn't dare express myself like that....especially when it came to affection for someone.  What would they think?  I didn't want to scare them away or make them think I was some lunatic.  I didn't want women to think I'm gay and I didn't want men to think I was coming on to them.  God forbid!
 
 Also when I was younger, my concept of love was very limited and restricted to only family and close friends....and only to female friends.  I didn't want some guy to get the wrong idea or take advantage of my feelings.  I was ever so careful who I said, "I love you" to as though those three words would  cause WWIII  if I happened to say them to the wrong people!
 
Not only has my definition of love expanded beyond family and close friends, I also realize more now, than ever, that there are various kinds of love and various levels of it, too.

 

Basically, there are three types of love:

 

Eros, which is what Hollywood is all about.  Eros (erotic) is the sexual or romantic love.  Even though I have experienced this kind of love, it is extremely limiting for me because I don't want to  hop in bed with every person I love!

 

Phileo love is a brotherly love toward someone we really like.  I feel that this type of love actually opens more doors to whom I can love simply because I like and enjoy lots of people.  Sex doesn't have to be involved.

 

Agape love is my favorite  because it allows me to love anyone and everyone as much as I want to.  As a matter  of fact, Agape is the deepest love we should strive for because it's based on doing good things for others.  It is the closest we are going to get to God Himself.....especially since God is Love.

 

It hit me the other day that if I can express Agape love to my family, friends, acquaintances, neighbors etc... then I can also include the strangers in my life ....the individuals whom I've never met.  If I can see myself and my loved ones in the face of the stranger, I will truly be able to extend my Agape love to everyone around me including  those around the world.

 

Perhaps if more people could love with Agape love, there would be no wars and only abundant peace. Wouldn't that  be incredible? Wouldn't that be like heaven?  I think so.

 

I love you, my OpenSalon friends!


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Although this post sounds a bit sentimental and corny, it comes from my heart....and my mind.
Agape love back to you too, Patricia. There is probably no greater gift a person cane give than unqualified, full of grace,..love. : )
This is a very nice piece and very well written and full of good wise ideas. Keep writing. One thing, dear. 50 is NOT old! When you opened your piece with "Although there is not much I like about being fifty years old".....I almost stopped reading right there. Why don't you like being 50 years old! You must be grateful every day just to be alive on this amazing planet full of 7 billion amazing people. If you don't like being 50, that means you don't like being a human being, you don't like being alive, you don't appreciate that you are a lucky to be alive and breathing on this Earth. Dear woman, wake up and smell the flowers. 50 is nothing. Aging is an illusion. Embrace every day with full passion for life. Stop this 50 nonsense and start loving yourself for who you are: a wonderful loving and wise human being.
Danbloom, you've got to realize that I just turned 50 and am not used to that number. I am grateful to be alive and indeed do live life to the fullest! Thanks for reading my post!
Agape is probably the most useful and pure form of love. Thanks for reminding me.
Repeat,50 is not old.
It's a bit different here in Australia in regards to Agape Love.
The men are hesitant to express their emotions.
I'm fortunate having being born in Europe,we were always encouraged to show our true feelings,which I still do.:)
oh, honey, i LOVE this post. i wrote one once about how much i love SMILING AND SAYING HI. it just makes me very happy. it's my way of spreading the love. i love making people laugh and, like you, i love telling people that i love them. i didn't know about Agape love, maybe that's the kind that i like to put out there. people get weird when you say it. or if you ask if you can hug them, but we all need to feel loved and accepted by the world. love love love and gratitude. i really needed this today. and i love you, girl.
The great thing about getting older is having the self-confidence to do what feels right to you and not worry about how it looks to other people. Expressing (and feeling) love makes your life beautiful and worth waking up to.
Patricia, as you might hear in Philippine English (Tagalish or Engalog), I love you big.
Very nice, Patricia. You would enjoy Monte Canfield's post on agape love. Here's the link: http://open.salon.com/blog/monte_canfield/2009/06/25/note_to_open_salon_without_love_we_are_nothing
Lots of love,
At 50 I wasn't where you are, however, at 60 I feel the need and freedom to tell people how I feel.
I feel that you covered this subject very well and with style.
So, agape love right back atcha, my OS friend.
Sharon
Like the Beatles said. "All you need is love."

Doo, doo, doo de doo...
Love you too....!!!


Rated
We're all terminal cases. Let the ones you love know it today -- tomorrow may be too late.

Thanks for posting this.
how right you are
especially family members
there is no guarantee we will see them again each day
Thank you everyone for the outpouring of love and support of my writing. I can almost truly feel the love sent my way. I may not be a very eloquent writer, but I write how I feel......and here at OpenSalon, I feel so accepted and loved!
"Agape is the deepest love we should strive for because it's based on doing good things for others. It is the closest we are going to get to God Himself.....especially since God is Love."
May I assume from this that you are a Christian or from a Christian background? May I suggest you also study the Hebrew word "hesed".
Thanks for your post.
Love to you, kid.
we definitely need more love in the world. great post.
sorry for being so late coming here. well, you know i'm all about love love love so i LOVE this post and it's so lovely that becoming 50 has allowed you to more easily express love and affection. i found the same thing to be true. when my husband died several years ago, it was also an impetus to be as loving as i could be, outside of the bipolar manias of course. thank you for this. love love lvoe and gratitude for this and for you reaching out to me and being so lovely when i was in a dark dark place.
Agape gets better with the years. You can trust me on this.
And Patricia; you may be surprised where the simple act of loving another can lead you. Take it from me; it grows expotentially!
patricia k : I followed my favorite to your blog, and this post jumped out at me.
Your thoughts are so well thought out. Thank you for sharing them.