"Oh no, the police have been called!" That's what I was thinking as I heard the wailing sirens approaching. My son had only one more month of probation for his DWI and now he relapses after living a mature and responsible life for over two years. Needless to say, I am concerned. Concerned for my son; concerned for his pregnant wife to be; concerned for his unborn; and concerned for myself. Just when I thought life was getting slightly easier, more stable, and less stressful, my son experiences a relapse in our home. I don't want to have to start living on pins and needles once again always wondering where David is, what's he doing, and HOW he's doing....
Almost feeling defeated to the bones and definitely feeling deflated, I slowly walk back into the house leaving my adult son in the ambulance under the care of the paramedics. With sad and sluggish emotions I wash up, get dressed, and prepare myself for the visit to the hospital wondering how long he will be there. Shortly after I arrive I am directed to the room where my son and husband are. My husband is sitting and my son is preparing to leave. They are not going to keep him over night. I am truly amazed. How can someone, who was passed out in the bathroom, sneaking close to death, be released within an hour of emergency admittance? Not only is the hospital releasing him, my son wants to get to work as soon as possible. How can this be?
It was decided that my husband would go back to work and that I would drive my son to his job. Besides being quiet, my son seemed fine. After the experience we went through, I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't want to preach, and yet, I felt compelled to say something. I reminded him that when he went through rehab four years ago, they tried to convince him, unsuccessfully, that he would have to give up EVERYTHING and not just the drugs. Back then, my son didn't buy it since he was convinced that alcohol wasn't his problem. It was the other "stuff" that landed him in rehab. I also mentioned to him that he needs to choose what he wants, his young family or the alcohol and drugs...because the alcohol and drugs are going to rob him of everything if he continues on this path. He said that he realizes this now and that he is giving it all up. There is a determination and conviction in his voice that sounds so convincing. I so badly want to believe him.
He also knows that not only did he come close to going to jail (if the police had reported this incident to his probation officer), he came close to dying in my home.
I'm hoping this was his "rock bottom" moment and that he's serious about being sober forever. The problem is, I know that addicts lie and will try to cover up their addiction at every moment they can. I also know that addiction is a disease that is extremely difficult to fight even with the best intentions. I'm afraid for him. I'm afraid for all of us who love him. I'm afraid for myself because I do not want to lose him. Once again, all I can do is pray. Please, God, help my son.