While reading Aaroncynic's What's In A Band Name last week I was reminded of an old project of my husband's and mine.  The legendary, if not completely imaginary, punk band Ass Crack Sandwich.

When we first hooked up Dave, my husband, was in a rock band called Patchwork Symphony.  This was just one in a series of bands he'd been in since high school, many of them with oddball names like DaVinci's Cradle and Tropical Dancing Fish Memorial Highway.  As would-be rock stars are prone to do, he was forever coming up with new songs, new song titles, and frequently, new band names.  Being the supportive spouse that I am, I was frequently offering up my own clever ideas.  One night and several bottles of wine later, we constructed the band's history, two albums, and two tour schedules (throughly mapped out on Google).  With the help of an old friend, within a week we had a website up and running.  Over the years the website has made the viral circuit, usually courtesy of young school boys who spend time Googling terms like "ass crack". 

Devotees of the band are known as "Bread Heads" and we know of at least one Bread Head at the Pentagon.

What follows below is the band's back story.

Ass Crack Sandwich's musicians come from a variety of musical backgrounds. M.N. Enema and the Shitowski brothers, Jerzy and Kamil, met in their local church's youth choir. Discovering their shared love of rock 'n' roll, the boys organized a small band in the 8th grade, playing regularly in the Shitowski's basement. In the late 90's the boys met Lou Sphincter who was playing drums in a heavy metal jazz band. After luring Sphincter into their band, the guys placed an ad in a local musicians paper, and many weeks of auditions later, they rounded out the band with Dean Gulberry and Martin Cheeks.

In 2000 Martin's girlfriend, the soulful sounding Diana Rhea and her twin sister Ghana, joined the group as back-up singers and Go-Go dancers.

Rehearsing regularly in the Shitowski's basement, the band finally began to define their own eclectic sound. Drawing on the musical styles of legendary greats Ron Nasty, Stig O'Hara, Derek Smalls, Mick Shrimpton, and Bad New's Vim and Colin- and the lyrical influences of Rik Mayall, David St. Hubbins, Nigel Tufnel and Barry Womble, the band put together their first album, Hold the Mayo.

Playing locally, the band began to gather a loyal fan base, and attracted the attention of Bob Uttscratch, whose talent management firm B. Uttscratch Management, represents a number of boy bands and members of the Barnum and Bailey troupe. Under Bob's guidance the band felt ready to begin making preparations for their first tour.

After the success of their first album and their well received first tour, the band returned to the Shitowski's basement to begin work on their second album, Salty Pudding. It is with this second album, that the band has begun to experiment with a variety of musical styles including Rap, R&B, Polka (thanks to Mr. Shitowski and his ever present accordion), and classical Punk (à la The Sex Pistols). The band's current tour is receiving rave reviews across North America.

Ass Crack Sandwich's albums can be found in finer head shops across the country.