It must be the Fourth of July as the local realtor has kindly put a plastic flag in my yard to remind me to be patriotic and to list my house with her when it is time to sell. Unfortunately for her, I rent. Every year these flags arrive in my yard and when the holiday is over, I'm at a loss as to how to dispose of the damn thing. Last year, I left it in a flower pot in the front yard until it faded and broke. I was then unsure what to do with it. It is not biodegradable and I doubt it is something my city will recycle; and while I know the Supreme Court will let me burn a cloth one if the mood strikes, none of the flag guidelines that I have found talk about the etiquette for the proper disposal of plastic flags. Last year I threw it in the trash under the cover of darkness. I wish to Betsy Ross the local realtor would stop putting me in this predicament each year.
Plastic flags and fireworks aside, the Fourth of July is our national day of pride. It may not be as long or as flamboyant as Gay Pride Week, but it gets the job done and the point across. We celebrate our independence with cold beer, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, corn drenched in butter, and the All-American favorite - Apple Pie. For each of us our sense of national pride is different. For some of us we are proud, as our bumper stickers indicate, to live in the "Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave." Some of us are proud of the American "can do" spirit. Some of us are proud that we have quashed our historical predilection for racism and now, finally, have a black president. Some of us are proud that we are staunchly defended by a capable and brave military both at home and abroad. Some of us are proud that the gay community has been granted the right to marry in a handful of states.
I am proud of all these things as I am, after all, an American. But there is something so quintessentially American of which I am the most proud. Something so definitively made in America and so indicative of the true spirit of American independence that it is truly one of our inalienable rights. I can only be speaking of The Mullet.
Once the purview of trendsetters like Billy Ray Cyrus it has become the iconic hairdo of the everyman.
Those who have corporate jobs with dress codes or have lost their hair to male pattern baldness or an unfortunate incident with a Bic razor can take solace in the knowledge that reasonably priced wigs are available. Show your pride this Fourth of July and sport your own mullet!
For more celebration of this true American classic visit these fabulous mullet fan sites!