Seriously. This question has been plaguing me for months. Or really, it has been driving my husband nuts and by extension filling more of my conversations with euphemisms for the bowel movements than I care for. If you've got IBS/Crohns or something akin, you've got my wholehearted sympathy - and I'm betting you're pretty dang tired of talking about bowel movements too.
I've mentioned it before, but my husband has developed an obsession with and an irrational fear of Jamie Lee Curtis as a result of her Activia commercials. Just this afternoon at Sam's Club his disorder compelled him to pull me across 3 aisles to the refrigerated section just to draw my attention to the fact that you can buy Activia in bulk. Every time she appears on TV his sphincter tightens in terror and he points at the TV and distractedly narrates his own version of the commercial. It's creepy and troubling.
It feels like every other ad on television is for some kind of product that will loosen up your bowels. If it isn't Jamie Lee, then it is the fine folks at Fiber One. I'm so tired of hearing about other people's digestive tracts and problems with "regularity" all said with a perky pout and a hand waving around their midsection in case we missed exactly what they were referencing. Or the constant protests that you can't taste all the fiber that is in the food which, to my mind, means you're more than likely to O.D. on the stuff - which isn't going to be pretty or perky.
In perusing the shelves at Target today I discovered that Kellogg's doesn't see fit to stop at just yogurt or cereal. No! They need to go all out and offer a complete product line that includes: bars, breads, pancake mix, dairy products, and the biggest affront of all - they've turned Pop Tarts into laxative filled breakfast snacks! The nerve!
Now my husband isn't going to trust a single item I bring home isn't loaded with laxatives. Not that he doesn't have good reason to distrust me... I have a rather vengeful streak donchaknow.
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Kathy Riordan
Joody
shaggylocks
Juliet Waters
Lunchlady 2
Tinkerertink69
Salon.com
Comments
Well, if Americans are living on MacDonalds and donuts and fried chicken, they probably do need some help, but this seems more like the overkill that all things get. If you are eating right...and you know what that means, then you should not need these overprice, overproduced products. Try a salad for lunch and a bowl of bran flakes for breakfast and you should be good.
And Cartouche is much better looking than Jamie IMHO.
Walter - Those products - and the do-it-yourself colonic attachments for home toilets quite literally scare the shit out of me :)
Yuck, I will never think of post tarts the same.
it's even good for your heart!
(Wow, kind of a poop day on OS isn't it?)
And stuff like Activia isn't primarily for constipation. More just the opposite. It restores the bacteria you need to digest your food at a proper rather than hyper pace.
Buffy - The truly scary adverts are the ones late at night on cable... especially the one with a bunch of women at a salon gabbing about the new Trojan fingertip vibrator - these are not people I want to imagine masturbating!
Cartouche - and you are far more regal than Lady Haden-Guest!
Julie - now see... that stuff is really dangerous... you can mix that into ANYTHING and people won't know it is there... hubby's not going to like that notion either...
Silkstone - Don't tell my husband it's not hyperpace...
Mr. M - he appreciates the camaraderie
Sweetfeet - what would we do with all the leftover Cheetos?
Eva - Agreed on all counts!
As for regulating gut flora, that is possibly a good idea. The thing is they don't talk about that. They don't even seem to use the word probiotic, as far as I can tell. Here is a good piece I found on Activia.
http://www.slate.com/id/2194620/
As usual, instead of addressing the problem -- eating vegetables and fruits -- companies have come up with a solution that allows slack assed lazy mofos to work around it.
Incredibly fun article. Loved it.
rated
Sorry to hear about your husband's fecalphobia.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3652HhAzDes
but don't forget: hemorrhoids, urinary incontinence, flatulence, acne, menstrual cramps and hot flashes, and, of course, erectile dysfunction.
Aren't we evolved? We sell products for normal body functions.
I'm sorry, but people really need to think about what they are putting into their body. If you eat 2 lbs of cheese per day, don't expect to be regular...
It is the body's way of telling us we aren't eating right and it sure hits home for me when I am in this predicament. I haven't jumped on the Activia bandwagon yet as I try eating better first, which usually works, plus proper hydration (lots of H2O). When all else fails, I reach for the Metamucil. I don't know whether I am average, above or below, but I sure can relate at times.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/17002/saturday-night-live-activia-yogurt
Diet trends and judgements bother me - especially the "eat healthy - live right!" folks who are ignoring the huge parts of the U.S. population that don't get to make so many food choices.
One trend here, that I hope will be national, if it isn't starting already, is setting up farmer's markets to accept food stamps (which are now debit cards - not currency.)
Some local CSA's (Community Sustained Agrigulture) farms want to join in. !!!!
But. yeah, JLC betrayed me. Her husband is a genius, so maybe he needs the money to make a huge, amazing movie? Hopefully it won't be a piece of shit.
Now there is a diet, saw it on PBS informercial, that tells people to lose weight by having regular poop. Just wait till they start the enema fetish.
The commercials I hate the most involve pretty lovers on the beach, with herpes that doesn't get them down.