::shimmy:: seems more appropriate than a ::bump::

love the title: it made me ask, "should I be?"

rated

Surly, not afraid of yours, but I hate mine showing. They are prone to it, and it would rather wear 14 layer of clothes than be 'perky'. Dunno why, but I find it mortifying.

Okay, this post is hilarious, but that title has to be the best title ever. Hands down. or nipples up. whatever.

Exactly! Not to mention those damn T-shirt bras are too hot (and I don't mean that in a good way).

O.K. I"ll bite! 1st guy comment.... Funny title, post... Rated

I hear you! That is one reason I stopped buying lingerie a long time ago, it hides things. (not to mention the fact that my dh has a delicious habit of tearing things)

I only like breasts that come with the matching pair of nipples. I definitely don't want to see pesky, perky nipples buried beneath anything. Ever.

Actually we are just trying to work you into an American burka little by little. I can't wait until you stop flashing your offensive shins all the time tramp.

I love nipples. (duh, I am a guy).

Now that I am getting defined pecs for the first time in my life I even like my itty bitty man nips poking through shirts. Do you think they would look even better if I took the Lance Armstrong supplement from your post--oh wait, silly me, those man-nips are from google and are not a part of of your essay.

Duaneart - I KNEW I could count on you to see reason.

I blushed,...but I laughed too ! : )

Irrational fear of nipples: Lactophobic.

I honestly cannot answer the question until I see the Real McCoys.
Please update with the puppies. Just kidding, NOT! ; )

Rated.

What's a "bra"????

This is good. I always feel like my nipples betray me at the most inopportune times. I just wish they would behave. Thus I have a bra for work that should last me through this perimenopausal thing. That said, I would never bother with those bandaids. Sheesh. And don't even get me started on the fact that there has never been a picture of Jennifer Aniston where her nipples weren't on display. I was figuring she had stick on nipples. Didn't they start selling fake nipples just a few years ago?

JK Brady - Yes, yes they did... and they are kinda creepy....

See here: http://img.alibaba.com/photo/50246019/Silicon_Nipples.jpg

TMI !!! : )
Or I could just switch to another channel. : )

So funny! I give lessons in tit twirling so if you are serious, let me know! Winking nipples is extra!

Well some of us have, ahem, a bit more nip than others and it can be quite distracting, I'm told. I guess concealers give us choice. If you want to show them off, you still can.

I must admit that I'm glad I own a pair!

::gah::

very creepy...

No, I'm not afraid of them. In fact, I would like to see more of these kind of pictures of Heather Graham.

http://www.imagebam.com/image/8387b538749940

This is so honest and also hilarious.
My Friend has the same nipple 'issue'
I mean:`If it's cole her nipples swells.
She ride a packed elevator? 'Um Swell!
A dummy mannequin may have nipples.
Mannequin aren't fun. I love Lady nipples.
She refuses to use duct tape on her nipples.
Nipples don't bite! Yes! 'Um fun to nibbles.
I can't explain this! Yea! O write a e- males?
This is outside my jurisdiction. okay. butts!
Remember? October 22? We have a party?
My birthday?
It's on Oct. 22!
So is other folk!
Share pacifiers?
It is dang goofy!
My pure thought?
O Pure Intentions!
Thank You. Ah! O!
tassels? You toots!
I meant:`You cute!
Ya say:`go pervert!
The world's so silly!
shimmy? okay okay!
okay? on October 22?

i adore you surly, and most definitely come down on the side of perky - besides, can you imagine the endless positioning to make sure the nipples are properly placed in that damn bra? what if there was shifting on one side and you ended up with wierd alien one sided perkiness? :)

with you all the way on this.

but there is the larger question of how do you get a man to put in a day's work if he is continually reminded that he could be frolicing in the hay? you're lucky america hasn't gone for the moslem solution.

then there's the wives problem, having caught him, how to keep him?

humans were meant to wander around the savanna, picking berries and throwing stones at hyenas. not surprising if problems arise in city living. but, speaking as a confirmed and unashamed leerer at women, i believe nipples should definetely be on the social 'ok' list.

My only concern is that they're properly aligned. I can't have the girls out unevenly displayed - so to speak.....

i too have a nice rack, surly. and there is almost always a little nip in the air. i DO sometimes feel whore-y because of them, but i cant help it - its not like i create the effect.
my question is what the hell is a concealing petal??
very cute post which raises a valid question.

just saw walk-away's comment - mine are asymmetrical. i need to get a single lift. maybe i could just use extra smoothe duct tape.

I can't believe nobody found this post to be titillating. Mine demand attention for sure. Whether they get it is another thing.

Nipples are glorious things; they stand out when making a point.

Love the post, and the shimmy - great question! For myself - not afraid at all . . . I rather like the confidence women like you convey - it's very sexy.

Mine are quite prominent and I find that I have trouble getting people to look me in the eye when the girls are particularly perky. I tried the concealer things once and they actually hurt. I don't need padding in my bra but have found that it helps to keep people's minds on how brilliant I am instead of what great tits I have.

I hear ShamWow works better than Braza Petals. Especially if it's raining.

Raited.

Arthur James - I love you. You made my day by visiting!

Surly, you're funny! I say...WOOHOO!! Be proud of what you have, even when they act...ummm...up! Breasts and nipples are beautiful creations!! :O)

John - I so don't want Vince Schlomi anywhere near my nipples... Billy Mays would have been one thing...

Most men have *absolutely* no problem with women showing a little nipple.

Just sayin'.

rainee174 - How the hell do you make your nipples wink?

I'm curious as to why you think your nipples are worth a blog post? Or anyone's? Then again, I am becoming increasingly disenchanted with this place where every title has to have a body part or a swear word in it. Fuck me, I know I need to leave OS sooner rather than later. Ugh.

crazy post. gotta love it. dont quote me on this but.. I once had a gf who said her nipples were very sensitive and sometimes [during sex] felt like 2nd and 3rd clitorises.

Love this! Funny, I mentioned showing my nipples in a poem and my post was flagged, I believe, because it was deleted from "recent posts." Whatever. I'm from Texas and have nipples the size of those big Tootsie Rolls, which has delighted all of my lovers - what is it with men and breasts?

Rated for honesty, humor, and rank sexploitation!

Emma-
I'm sorry you take such offense to the discussion of nipples on OS, mine or anyone's. I didn't realize this was such a low brow discussion. Frankly this week I've grown a wee bit tired of the discussions of Obama's mission in healthcare, Sarah Palin, the death squads, the GOP, and how long granny has to live. Maybe I'm a light weight, maybe I've got a limited vocabulary that includes swear words like nipples, tassels and "fuck you very much" or maybe it's because yesterday I had to tell both of my niece's that their granny was dead... Who knows? So, I decided to go with fluff post. Regardless, I still want to know why you're so afraid of my nipples.

Frog Town Diva - I love Tootsie Rolls!

I am Surly. I think this was the New Post that stimulated my dreams last night.
Comments about buttons popping. Burned lips from hot cigarettes, and Shaker hymn song.
I love to diverse music:`harmonica, juice harp, guitar, cello, banjo, piano, Bach's medieval pump organ, washboard and thimble, bass harp, violin,
or,
an accordion.
I love to bang.
Bang cymbals.
or,
bang gentle a hip.
Nature is like this.
Nature entertains.
Nature's so diverse.
I am Surly agreeable.
Ya smack thee thighs.
Oh iamsurly. Oct. 22?
O love you as you are.
I do sneak a puffs too.
Is this an endearment?
I am always offending?
I am offering the peace.
Ay non judgmental kiss!
Watch Nature outsides?
And go flop in haystack!
What heehaw holy fun!
Jesu and Mary is merry!
See a Gospel Good New?
I love the scripture verse.
"Jesus was seen kissing Mary repeatedly on the lips." This old scroll was found the year I was born, 1948, in the monastic dessert sect of those who fled for their Dear Life when the Romans were gonna kill those eccentrics who hung around with constructive critic:`Jesus, who was born illegitimate? He was the Bethlehem Nazarene. The scroll was preserved from the 1st century. Some children were throwing rocks into a open-hole. The children heard a clay pot break. In the clay pot they found in the dry dessert there was an untampered with Good News Gospel Of Thomas. I always tell Mennonites that's my favorite scripture verse. Why no tell the truths?
Behave.

Honest.
The great neighborhood Mennonites have these Scripture signs that are about 18 X 12. One day the Sigh may say:`
Blessed are the Pure in Heart, from Matthew 5?
Then another side will say:`
Blessed are the Peacemakers.
The signs are changed each week.
Last week? Prepare to enter Eternity.
They are great community organizers.
They visit the farm for Cottage Meeting.
They can fix tractors and bake great bread.

Bless their good heart and bunny cotton tales.
I don't get into the guilt. Someone else decide.
I do believe in a- moral guilt. Ruin. Immortality.

I'll make a new sign:`Kiss thy neighbor on thee lips.
Please take a cigarette butt out from thy plump lips.
If I attend a eulogy? No address rage or past abuses.
Thanks for last night pleasant dreams. Ah! Sure fun.

Personally, I think this was a great post...I mean, you certainly got my attention.

Oh Arthur...

I'm with you! What the hell is wrong with happy nipples?!

Without my ladies standing at attention... how am I to know what the weather is like?

Very funny. I applaud your brazen hussy-ness. Rated by moi, the brazen hussy wannabe.

No concealers here...I'm not shy about having my high beams on (as one ex-beau liked to say). I agree that they do need to be properly aligned and preferably not aimed at the floor...

You know Surly, I don't what is with the UptightStickInTheAss Crowd that has such a problem with having a little fun these days but fuck 'em if they can't enjoy themselves or let anyone else have some fun along the way. I'm with you - so sick of all the blowhard healthcare politics woe is me the world is coming to an end and all that other bs posting - thanks for this post; it was fun.

hear-hear! I totally agree! What's wrong with a little nipple shadow here and there? Ladies! Be proud of your nipples!!

As a woman with a lovely A-cup, I'd love to find those sheer, soft-cup bras that add just a hint of allure. Alas, they don't make them and I'm stuck going bra-less. While not a bad idea, sometimes I want the sexy strut that comes with a hidden bit of lace.

Now you're talkin' ladies :)

We don't even have bras in Australia yet, let alone pasties. It's nipples to the wind here...

Natalie - That explains so much about Prisoner Cell Block H.

Funny post Surly, and rated for it. But I guess WalkAwayHappy would class me as one of those who are doing "all the blowhard healthcare politics woe is me the world is coming to an end and all that other bs posting." There's no pleasing everybody I guess; for some people in OS I'm too frivolous a character; on the other side are those who (apparently) think any discussion of anything serious is a waste of time. My take is that there's room enough for both things in here, but maybe that's just me.

And yes, I AM afraid of your nipples:P

nanatehay - Finally someone who fesses up! And you frivolous? I should think not! Although there's nothing wrong with some hard won frivolity.

Oh for pete's sake, of course there's room for everyone Nana, that's the point! Surly's post belongs here just as much as any other and Emma has no business attacking it. There's room for the frivolous and the serious and it's just as important (and necessary) to have them both and everything in between.
Right?

I can't disagree with you Walk Away. But what about posts about shaved kitties? It seems to me the shaved pussy genre has been way under-represented in OS recently:P

No fear here, lady. Show'em if you got'em and you'll likely catch me star'en and wish'en.

Yes, yes, yes. What's to be afraid of, unless you're one seriously mama-phobic threatened guy? Mine show all the time. That's probably a little odd, but I quit worrying about it years ago. You CAN'T make them not show unless you want to wear a neoprene wetsuit at all times. Doesn't look good with my heels.

oh, surly, you are priceless!! first they want us to push 'em up, now they want us to cover 'em up. makes me wonder about the people/person who actually spent time dreaming this up.

not all of us are completely level -- so, without the perky cover-ups, would we look like this:

(. ) (*)

Rated. Thanks!

TheBarkingLot4 - LOVE the illustrated point!

I'll admit, despite their fabulosity, I'm a little embarrassed when my nipples make their presence known through my clothing, but mainly that's because men have been known to stare, and I prefer them to stare at my face, unless we are on intimate terms.

But what I totally don't get is when other women act all afraid of each other's nipples. As in:

"Oh my god, ew, you can see her nipples through that shirt!"
The scandal! What to do! Bitches.

Since I am late to the party, I would like to talk about my behind. As I am approaching forty, I have found that I am increasing proud of how my butt is holding up.

I like what goes in the front, but what your packing in the back- can make a guy want to mack.

(not really sure what that means...just wanted to rhyme!)

What can I say? I'm a tits and nipple fan myself! I've developed quite an adeptness at handling them through the years too! I guess that's one of the few advantages of being a trumpeter. :-D
Rated

Tai - it's never too late for a booty post ;)

KoB- How did I guess you were a professional?

I can turn mine inside out.

What do I win?

And I love my small breasts (which breastfed two babies, one after the other for four years straight) and my husband loves them, too, especially my nipples. But your line, "when they were substantially higher on my body's geography" says it all. I'm so glad, so incredibly glad and happy and relieved, that I will never have C or D cups stretched and flopping around my thigh area! Dodged that bullet!! I'm perky forever!! Hallelujah!!

Nipples? I love them. Perky, pokey, pointy, big ones, little ones, nipples are a bit of joy for me in a world with much too little. I don't mind seeing them and I try not to stare. They symbolize the importance of the female role in reproduction. They are as erotic as any feature that a woman can have. I love to tweak them, touch them, lick them, I could go on and on. I am not, however, afraid of them. Why on earth am I forced to endure seeing men so nearly nude in public or in movies, or on television? When even a tiny fraction of breast threatens to show itself half of the screen goes blurry. They are just breasts and nipples, we all have them and damned few of us have never seen one, or two. So I'd like to say without shame or fear, feel free to let me see your nipples. I am glad to celebrate your femininity. I won't even make a rude noise or comment.

bobbot - I see you got your keyboard fixed ;)

Leeandra - sounds like you got the bonus prize! I can't make mine do any nifty tricks... :)

I got my wife a set of those stick on type for the enhanced look. They are so fun to play with that they are nearly worn out already. I'm going to give them to her sometime next week maybe.

I use to show my girls off .....then they dropped to each side of my bellybutton......not a pretty site........Show 'em off girls while ya can.....

Until ya've had kids, ya ain't got real nipples. One girl friend did. Yummy. Alas, she left me for her husband. I was very disappointed. But them was good nips while I had them.

I say what the hell! Just ditch the clothes and go naked! Why conceal them?

When I was a senior in high school, I put some Band-Aids on my nipples in lieu of wearing a bra one night. I was out with my boyfriend, who was of color and I am not. He felt me up for the first time, discovering the Band-Aids. He thought white girls were made differently. I've never worn Band-Aids since (on my nipples).

Hooray! Loved the post! I feel EXACTLY the same way (much to the frustration and consternation of my partner). What's the big deal? EVERYONE has nipples, and half of us have breasts. If you've got nice ones, show 'em off!

Rated. I'd rate once for each nipple if it would let me.

Love this. My boobs/nipples attract an astounding amount of attention (I guess that's because of guys like bobbot). They're there, people, deal with it. :)

No. But I'm afraid of your husband if he saw me looking at them.

I'm sorry, I'm having trouble visualizing what you are saying. Maybe you show show us.

OESheepdog... it's lucky for you that my husband is a dog lover ;)

It's sort of like feet binding in China. Leave our bodies alone!

I wear bras for support, and at work, I'm not exactly what you'd call sexy.

But America seems to be full of both prurience and prudery about this particular aspect of women's anatomy, and Amcericans display the worst half of both attributes. They want us to hide this natural, and in my case pretty darn visible, part of our bodies in a way that would do credit to an Iranian Mullah.... until they want to ogle them. Nipples, seem to be the focal point of the fear. They feed babies, they act as an erogenous hot button, and for some, they appear more frightening than the smoking gun.

Wonder what would have happened if Condi had flashed us right then while sayin "We don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud..."

Your nipples may not bite, but I do (within reason, of course) ;0)

I love it. You got 'em. Flaunt 'em! The problem is, I won't be able to tell you the color of your eyes. Are you good with that?

alas, nipple is all i've got. i have no reason to hide mine. but, i don't mean for this to sound gloomy. i'm proud of my lack of breasts! at least i can run without a bra with no fear of knocking myself unconscience with my own breasts!
thursday has officially become 'no bra day' for me at work, with no complaints (and apparently no one even notices until i shout 'it's no bra thrusday' and pull up my shirt!).

Humans are truly weird creatures! In prehistoric times on another continent our ancestors put bones through their noses, and plates in their lips. (Ugh!) But NOW,... we're educated and modern! Now we puncture and mutilate almost everything including genitalia!

Well, so much for modern, enlightened society! (Frankly, I'd really rather be a dolphin!!!) And please leave your "twins" alone! I'm pretty certain that they are beautiful just the way they are!

I salute you and...your nipples.