Masturbation.  There I said it. I'll say it again, masturbation.  Honestly, it's not a pretty word, it doesn't roll right off the tongue.  It is so clinical sounding.  It sounds more fun when you say things like "jerking off" or "wanking" or "diddling" or"two finger taco tango."  Doesn't it?  (Here's a list of more fun ways to say you're defiling yourself with your hands!)

 Anyway, all the recent hubbub (and Tinkertink's clear addiction) reminded me of a book I bought a number of years back at a garage sale.  It's a handy little book published in 1927 called Sex Training In The Home, Plain Tales On Sex Life Covering All Periods And Relationships From Childhood To Old Age, by Winfield Scott Hall, M.A., M.D., Ph.D. (Talk about credentials!)

I decided that you all could benefit from a refresher course on the subject and am taking it upon myself to reprint here for you an excerpt from the fine Dr. Hall's manual.  This excerpt is from the chapter on Home Instruction In Life Problems.

... to impress upon your mind the importance of testicles and the manly qualities which are developed under their influence. You can easily understand that a boy should never do anything to irritate or excite that part of his body. Some boys who do not know of these matters may accidentally acquire or may be led into the habit of handling these organs, irritating and exciting them. This seriously interferes with a boy's development of the highest qualities of manhood. The boy who is very anxious to develop these qualities and who knows these matters that I am explaining to you will never touch his sex organs, except to keep them clean as he takes a bath. At other times he not only leaves that part of his body alone but he does not even permit himself to think about it. He throws his whole energy into the games of boyhood and young manhood and into the work that he is supposed to do, and lets nature take care of that part of his body.

How To Avoid Dangerous Habits - Habits are very easily formed during this period of later childhood. In the story of manhood told above the father guards the boy against one dangerous habit prevalent in this period - that of self-abuse or masturbation. This habit is very easily acquired by boys during their preadolescent period. A boy may be led into the habit by a vulgar-mined older boy or by a low-minded servant; or he may acquire the habit through some incident of his personal, private life and not influenced by anyone else.

So many boys get into this habit that no boy may safely be left uninstructed, he should be told by his father or by some trusted man teacher or other leader of boys, of the harm that comes from handling the sex organs - exciting and irritating them so that their work is disturbed.

If a boy knows what harm the habit of self-abuse will do him, he is quite sure to quit the habit if he has already acquired it, or if he has not gotten into the habit he is effectively guarded against it.

Boys who have been circumcised are far less likely to get the habit of self-abuse than are boys who have not been circumcised.

As a rule all a small boy needs to help him break the habit of self-abuse is to have the matter clearly explained to him and to know that boys who are addicted to that habit do not develop into as fine, big, strong men as they would have been if free from the habit. Explain to the boy that self-abuse is an unclean, unmanly habit. Explain also that it is important to keep his mind clean and free from vulgar thoughts.

So are we clear gentlemen?  It's dirty, unclean, unmanly and if you do it often enough you won't grow up to be a fine, big, strong man - and you better get yourself circumcised just to be on the safe side.

Now, as for the ladies...

How To Avoid Dangerous Habits. - Among the wrong habits so likely to mar a girl's personality are habits of carelessness in personal appearance, habits of disorder in her room and habits of careless language, such as the use of slang and ungrammatical language, habits of departing from absolute truth in conversation. All these are habits to which girls of this age are especially liable; then, of course, there is the destructive habit of self-abuse referred to in the previous section. While little girls are far less likely to be led into the habit than is the case with boys, still the mother must take nothing for granted. She must be very sure that her daughter is properly instructed, as set forth in the previous section; furthermore that her associations should be very carefully guarded. One badly brought up girl in a neighborhood may do a great deal of damage to the innocent sweet girls before the mothers are aware of it, if they are lacking in vigilance.

 So, now ladies it seems we're less likely to develop this nasty hobby and those of us who do also appear to be sloppy,trash talking, lying tramps!

Now, should you need any other life lessons from Dr. Hall, please just send me an email and I will look up your question in my oracle, which I should mention,  a previous owner took it upon themselves to highlight passages and make insightful notes in the margins!  It's the best $3.50 I've ever spent.