
Dear Miley;
I'm heartbroken, just heartbroken, to hear that you will no longer be tweeting on Twitter. The news of your decision has sent me into a spiral of depression that I am not sure I will ever recover from. Your cryptic final tweet has left me confused and longing for an explanation.
"FYI Liam doesn't have a Twitter and he wants ME to delete mine with good reason."
What is the good reason? Can't you explain it to me? To us? To the world? I'm concerned that your decision is part of the reason that the President seemed so down and confused today when he made his speech about the Nobel Prize. I mean really, who could expect him to rally knowing that he, like the rest of us, will no longer be privvy to your tweets of wisdom.
Like Liam I don't have a Twitter account and I don't tweet - but that's because I don't have fashion tips to share and no one cares where I buy my lattes. No one wants to stalk me or buy trading cards and handbags with my name on them. But you on the other hand are a goddess, you have 1.1 million Twittering tweeting twats following you. You're Miley Cyrus! You're Hannah Montana! How can you leave the masses tweetless?
I can only hope that the news reports are true and that your dad, good old Billy Ray, can convince you to tweet again. Bless his achey breaky heart.
I guess I will just have to console myself that your Hannah Montana movie is on Pay-Per-View this weekend and I can get an all day pass for $5.99.
Yours sincerely,
iamsurly

Salon.com
Comments
R
John - need a hankie?
Owl - Si. Si.
Latethink - I'm just here to help.
I'm thinking you may not have read my famous post
"I think I love Hannah Montana" (or something like that)
tweeting twats -- i'm spitting coffee.
sending you the dry cleaning bill. ;
bobbot - Monday works for me.
Kathy - I'm pretty sure Karl was using Twitter to expose the names of undercover agents somewhere. ;)
femme - I'll transfer the funds from my Nigerian bank account. You'll take a cashier's check made out for 50 times the amount of the bill, and then send me the change, right?
Andy - you're catching on... check with Kathy, she can explain all the conspiracy theories behind it.
I heard that from Max Bialystock the 'producer'
Anybody want 50% of the action I only have 100 left.
I think someone told miley that twitter is the ultimate snakepit of narcissism, and she realized it before it was too late....
P.S. and Yes, thank you.... I AM a fashion critic!
Kathy, I hope you also took a hammer to whatever device on which you received your Rovester message. Seriously icky! Icky! Icky! Icky!
Hope
I also enjoy immensely when they DELETE all their old posts in a fit of pique. did miley do that with her twitter account? the ultimate in self-immolation in cyberspace I guess