iamsurly

iamsurly
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October 22
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ex-heiress
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Charming young lady, with sharp tongue and vocabulary of a seasoned longshoreman, who carries in her handbag worn and tattered membership cards to the Mayflower Society and Daughters of the American Revolution, for which her dues are in arrears.

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DECEMBER 4, 2009 4:45PM

Oh Yeah! Gimme Some Of That Crazy Ambien Sex, Baby!

Rate: 23 Flag

 

woods-uchitel

 

Okay, so like I wasn't gonna weigh in on this whole Tiger Woods nonsense.  Really I wasn't.  I don't actually give a rat's ass about his marriage, but I do like the visual of an angry wronged wife chasing her husband down swinging his precious golf club.  That suits, and I was over the whole thing. But then damn it Rachel Uchitel had to open her mouth and allege that she and Tiger did the nasty while amped up on Ambien.  I quote "You know you have crazier sex on Ambien – you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex."

The few times I have taken Ambien I've found myself face-down on my pillow in a pool of drool, not begging my husband to get all jiggy with me.  I know that Ambien has a number of side effect including my all-time favorite, sleep eating, but seriously crazy sex in a drug haze?  You lose your inhibitions, not to mention consciousness, while having sex thanks to popping one or two of these prescription treats. Can anyone say roofie?

No wonder Uchitel has hired legal leech Gloria Allred to represent her.  This is gonna go from an awkward marital misadventure to illegal and creepy. And fast.

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Bump. Grind. Snore.
surly... I'm pretty sure it would be snore, bump, snore, grind... no? And that's just your teeth.
I read Tiger paid Uchitel a cool mil to call off her press conference yesterday. How much you gonna pay me to keep quiet on our torrid affair??
Half a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of Thunderbird. You're a cantankerous bastard Harry.
Sleep fucking, not to be confused with erotic dreams. That's a new one.
Tiger's showing us all just how much one can blow on coke and hookers.

I can't wait to see him in 15 years, strung out and going to mid-cap company golf outings giving "inspirational" speeches and poorly showing overweight balding men with better golf clubs than skills how to swing at little white balls.
I have to say I am gratified that this picture perfect
paragon has finally fallen. This makes me rather evil,
no doubt, but what the f... .He always rubbed me the wrong
way...

his arrogance...

Let's see how he handles all this. Retreat, is my guess..
Ha! I beat you too it Kathy :P
A bit less than I hoped! I may be a cantankerous bastard but I'm a horny cantankerous bastard! (the worst kind!)

Admit it! It's because of me you got that cigarette in your mouth! (And you're so sexy when you drool)
does this mean everything is in reeeeaaally slow motion? or maybe even stop-action? is that like thrust --------- pause ----------
Is ambien sex legal in all states?
surly, I'm not touching Tiger again. Wait, that came out wrong.
I took Ambien for a while. It didn't actually help me to fall asleep any faster at night, but once I was asleep I was less likely to wake up and count sheep. I have been an insomniac my entire life, and even with medications it usually takes 2 or 3 hours, if not more, to fall asleep.

Crazy Ambien sex? Crazy Ambien cooking for Thanksgiving? Crazy Ambien withdrawal symptoms that were painful as all get-out? Yep.

But the thing is, I didn't remember any of it the next morning -- I remembered virtually nothing that happened between the time I took the medicine and when I actually fell asleep. I would have conversations that I didn't remember. I only knew I had sex when I found myself wearing no undies in the morning. I made another pie crust and put it into the fridge right next to the pie crust I had apparently made the night before. I didn't have crazyAmbien se x for long -- my husband said it was *way* too weird for him to initiate (or even respond...) after I took a sleeping pill.

My version of crazy sex involved talking constantly. And hallucinating. And describing all of the hallucinations while I was in the act itself. Uninhibited, but not hot and horny, just psychotic. It was definitely Crazy Ambien Sex.

I know people have sleep sex on Ambien. Sleep gambling. Sleep eating. Sleep walking. In my case, I knew I wasn't doing these things when I was conscious (well, at least not any more frequently than I would have sex/eat/walk anyway). Apparently I wasn't asleep either.

If I had hot, crazy Ambien sex with Tiger Woods, I could never kiss and tell, unless he described it to me in great detail.
Crazy Ambien sex? Never had that. But I did have crazy cheesecake sex once. Who knew cheesecake could turn men on?

Seriously, sleep aids as sex enhancers? Bullshit. Why can't people stick to the usual, like chocolate and a nice spank on the ass? LMAO!


Rated.
This gives "let me sleep on it" a whole new meaning, doesn't it? Apparently, he did. More than once.
I've had crazy sex on nitrous oxide, on ether, even on LSD. Thinking one could have crazy sex on an antidepressant is, well, depressing.
I drink on Ambien. I'd get up and have a glass or two of wine in the middle of the night. I always thought other people were hogging the wine! I had to stop. The Ambien, NOT the drinking. Now I do it sober and sleepless.
Ambien - hello? can you say SLEEP? Oh, also, eewww...(not your post but the idea that I have to be subject to this information). Can you say: I DON"T WANT TO KNOW!!
I took a half an Ambien last summer at midnight and missed a 6am flight to DC because I woke up at 6:15. I ended up buying a ticket for $800.00 to get me there in time for my meetings, and no, I was not reimbursed for it.

Cripe.
Ambien is NOT an antidepressant. It is a CNS depressant, although not of the same family (benzodiazepines) as Restoril and other well-known sleep aids. In fact, long term CNS depressant use (like Xanax, Valium, alcohol, etc.) often lead to depression rather than treating it.

People do weird things on Ambien, sometimes dangerous things, and the events are frequently forgotten. The last time I took Ambien (and I mean the LAST time), I apparently hid the pills in odd places all over the house. We found some in a cardboard box filled with software, and many were found in the freezer in the weeks and months that followed. We destroyed it all.

CNS depressants do nothing for most people's libido or sexual response. In fact, these drugs put arousal and orgasm out of reach for many women, and I suppose men are affected similarly. (I now have the Dead Kennedy's song "Too Drunk to Fuck" stuck in my head! You can too! http://popup.lala.com/popup/937030206111561746) That's not to say CNS depressants eliminate desire; they lower inhibitions like alcohol does.

More commonly, stimulants are used to heighten libido and response. Methamphetamine and cocaine are commonly used for just that reason. In the gay community, methamphetamine enhanced sex has increased the rate of HIV transmission. I have worked (as a substance abuse counselor) with many people addicted to methamphetamine, and I feel certain the same is true of HIV transmission among heterosexual users.
I've taken Ambien. The sex had no ambiance at all. (Not that that was a requirement.)
R
.... I mean Dead Kennedys' song.... (punctuation error)
Crazy sex in a drug haze is not to be underestimated surly, and I can assure you this doesn't come anecdotally. But Ambien? Is that what passes for drugs these days? This brings to mind the time I took ecstasy (still not a REAL drug) and did it all night with a woman I barely liked... proclaiming undying love the whole time. But Ambien?
Kids these days... I swear!
Creepy, that was the perfect word for the whole affair.

Just today I pulled out my file from the Tiger Woods Foundation as a potential for an urban youth program I'm working with and almost shoved it back in the file cabinet just on principal.
I hadn't heard that latest bit, Surly. And actually I knew that Ambien sometimes caused that particular side effect. I read an article written by a former Ambien addict a year or two ago, and she wrote about her boyfriends complimenting her for her wild and crazy sex; wild and crazy sex she didn't remember having.
Holy crap, batman, how many men are headed to the pharmacy right now. "Wash this down with a little Merlot dear....."

And here's a question for everyone: Did the wife actually smack his ass/head/nutsack with the club? Or was it just the car.
according to the article, when you 1st take it, it can increase sexual zing, but then I guess you would doze off quickly. "prescribed for insomnia".. yeah I bet tiger has a lot of that.. both before and after the fiasco.. before, worrying that his wife will find out.. after, worrying that his sponsors will cut him off...
This gets weirder all the time.

I won't worry until Tiger reports going Ambien Wolf Hunting with Sarah Palin.

Other wise, I'm trying to do the impossible; pity his wife, while ignoring the story as much as 24 hour media blitzes allow.
I had sex once ... once ... in ambient lighting. It was dull.
so he likes the necrophiliacy zombie sex. who doesn't?
Darling, if this is your reaction to Ambien, you're clearly not taking it frequently enough. Why don't people understand that one has to _train_ for this sort of physical reward, just like any other athletic pursuit? You wouldn't just get up one day and expect to run a marathon. Tsk.
Btw, I'm with Lady Miko on this one. What a sensible girl you are, milady.
Would it be called sleepsexing then? And would you remember it later? What it you started snoring while you were having sex? Would your partner understand? Wouldn't be dangerous if both of you were taking ambien, shouldn't one person at a time take it, otherwise wouldn't the pair of be like a porno version of Night of the Living Dead?
This is where Nike's money goes, not to making sneakers. Know what I mean? Them rich people is so high class.