Every family has its holiday traditions, and the Surly clan is no exception.  In fact we have two!  We mix up an lethal batch of Gin Alexanders, and we spend several days making a fried pastry called Croquignolles from a recipe passed down over several generations.

I am giving you, verbatim, the recipe I work with each and every year. (To see the recipe in it's original form as typed up by my Uncle Warde click here)

RECEIPT

ELEVEN EGGS (from settin' hens)

ONE CUP CRISCO (blubber, effen you kin git it)

1/2 to ONE CUP MILK - depending on dough  - (pick your best cow)

22 cups SIFTED flour (from yer local miller)

three CUPS 'O BUTTER (better if churned by YOU)

eight heapin' TEASPOONS CINNAMON (new) 'N NUTMEG (new)*

along with 3 heapin' teaspoons 'a GINGER (new)

7 cups 'o sugar (try yer tongue and add more spices if too mild)

THREE TEASPOONS SALT (sea-salt's best)

TWO TEASPOONS VANILLA (pure & new!)

grate ONE AND 1/2 ORANGES and LEMONS for their RINDS (best if they come from Californighaye)

Ya got it - or them, (as t'were)?

So ya SLOWLY mix the dry ingredients (flour spices, etc.) into 'Bossie's' Milk

Knead well (a damn chore - best to git yer mother-in-law ta yoose her KNEES)


Tia Consuelo, our kneader for the last 40 years

and add more of BOSSIE'S best, if batter is too STIFF

then, ya form into BALLS (one inch in diameter)

Now place in yer ice BOX fer 24 hours (from moon to moon)

then ya git 'em out 'n roll flat on a lightly floured board

quite thin, with a roller, (the one ya hit yer wife mate wif')

My mother Missy and Aunt Melantha Flattening and Cutting Balls

Now ya slit the dough into 5 or 6 slashes with cookie cutter (be sure ya leave a solid perimiter)

the delicate part is when ya pick 'em up 'n twist 'em between yer finners!

How's yer HOT FAT (Crisco) boilin'? OK? Well then, drop 'em in like ya would do-nuts

till they brown lightly - drain on paper toweling (grandmère) said she always used Grandpère's last winter's LONG JOHNS till he complained he never could git the trap open agin'

BE SURE YA SPRINKLE 'EM WITH POWEDERED SUGAR after they've cooled

*In great great grandmère's day there was NO bottled or canned spices, everything was grown, picked & gathered. Therefore, NEW means not something ya had settin' in yer spice cupboard too long!

Oh yes, the above'll make ya 120 'CROQUES' 'n watch 'em go!

(THE WHOLE GADDAN MESS IS PATENTED so ya can't go sellin' the receipt to Pepperidge Farms)

May your Christmas be best & Remember Double Sevens Win in Las Vagas.