Author's Note: The post below is a compilation of a week's worth of my niece's Facebook status updates all reprinted with her permission (and her mother's, of course.)

So, I got the new Facebook today.  Whoopie! Nice exercise in web programming, but nothing too spectacular.  Or maybe it is, only I can't really tell since my entire feed today is comprised of my 15 year old niece's photo uploads, status updates, and notifications of the pages of which she's become a fan.  I haven't got the slightest clue what my other 164 friends are up to, although I suspect Farmville is on the top of the list.

So, I thought I would share with you my joy and post a week's worth of poignant status updates of a teenage girl.  If I were to include the 800 different pages she's become a fan of in the last month your computer would, undoubtedly, crash. But just to share a few:Who-Ya-Texxttinnng-Shut-up Mom, Hi, I wasted a very long time liking you, I love Guidos, I was even more blown away when I realized QK looked like a sideways ninja, I feel uncomfortable talking on the phone when my parents are listening, My mom told me to clean my room while she's gone. She's back. OH CRAP, Your 12. You smoke. Your not a virgin. Your bf is 17? You must be proud, and Writing on windows when it rains. The fact that some of these pages have over 300,000 fans is a testament to something, I'm just not sure what.

So... here we go!

GUESS WHATT? It's Skadizzler  birfdaaay!!!!!!!!

 Its snowinggggg :)

 I AM SO F***ING EXCITEDDDDDDD LIKE BLAAAAH I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY FRIEEEENNNNDD TO GET HIS ASS UP HEREE :]]]]

 oh my goodnesss... well first of all. the first question was "whats ur hair color" i put dark brown.. so howd i get this.

 MY FRIEEEENNNDDD IS COMING TO STAY WITH ME FOR LIKE A WEEKK :] OH MY GODDDD

 "You just carry around a picture of a diseased prostate around with you...?"

 Facedoublee told me I look like Hilary Duff... Hahaha oh god.

NO. I DON'T HAVE TWO MINUTES.

"Vaxhaul, put the fun back into driving." and then what I heard.. "Cough syrup, put the fun back in for druggys."

(717): some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on.

I need a valentine.

Yah, my name is uhh..."

"Oh boy! Prostitutes AND popcorn shrimp!"

Dopplegangerrr weekk... Seriously -.-

"See you around six. Where something slutty! Zoomzoomzoommmm"

Whooo do I look like!?!

oh my god, seriously, bella from twilight? please tell me I don't look like her -.-

So.. How do you move your hips like 'yeah' Miley?

Bahaha boredness.

 Don't say you love me unless you mean it, because I might do something crazy, like believe it.

Let's fight some ballerinas

I like the way my eyes change color. :]

Haha how very interesting.