iamsurly

iamsurly
Location
Los Angeles, California, USA
Birthday
October 22
Title
ex-heiress
Bio
Charming young lady, with sharp tongue and vocabulary of a seasoned longshoreman, who carries in her handbag worn and tattered membership cards to the Mayflower Society and Daughters of the American Revolution, for which her dues are in arrears.

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JANUARY 13, 2011 5:24PM

Holy Mother of Grilled Cheese!

Rate: 25 Flag

So the other day my friend Annie pointed out to me that Mr. Fancy Food Pants Francis Lam (Lam Chop to moi) was trying to be all cool with his little competition for Grilled Cheese recipes. At first I was all "Whatever with that." Franny Fancy Pants, who was too good to participate in my Vintage Recipe Card Showdown, is playing hip kid and is pretending he likes processed cheese foods, but I know he's faking it. If his cheese is not aged in a cave and full of mold, or melted on bread made by the arthritic hand of an aging blind monk, he's so not going to eat it. But I'm a good sport, and a fan of cheese in all it's processed glory, especially aerosol form, so I'll play.

I'm a purist. No, I didn't say I'm pure. Don't be an idiot. I believe that all this fancifying of grilled cheese sandwiches that you see lately is just pure nonsense. Hipster chefs are adding it to their menus. Heck there's even a Grilled Cheese Invitational. They are putting all kinds of fancy cheeses and meats in their sandwiches like you can actually improve upon the original recipe. You can't. You want that fancy shit, go get a panini and get off my blog.

Most of us, unless your parents were vegan whackos or lactose intolerable, were fed traditional grilled cheese sandwiches as a kid. These were a staple of our diets and one of the original comfort foods. Today, they are my preferred meal when I've got a migraine or a hangover, and Dave excels at whipping them up for me.

Grilled Cheese Recipe

2 slices of bread, preferably unhealthy white bread with no nutritional value
A lot of butter
2 rubbery slices of American Cheese (I prefer Kraft Deli Deluxe myself)

Heat a large dollop of butter in a frying pan. Slather bread with butter and put one piece in the pan. Layer slices of processed cheese like goodness on bread and top with other slathered piece of white bread.

Cook, flipping to achieve a golden brown color on both pieces of bread and until cheese is nicely melted.

Because this is the food of the gods, it seems only appropriate that in my house, despite the fact that we're heretics, my favourite pop-culture idol, the Virgin Mary regularly makes an appearance on my sandwiches.  

We're tight she and I. I have a shrine in my guest bathroom to her.

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Comments

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This was just delightful! You had me going there...and then wham...good one.
rated
I agree with Stella etc,
and now I feel hungry.
I almost took a nap.
iamsurly liking Lam.
Francis reminds me?
My Ma was a Frances.
I can't comment there.
I am poky pork chops.
I ate bacon at age sixty.
O Ma, grave mortal sin.
Who was it @ O.Sin.com?
They put pork chop in pants?
Someone did. Maybe a editor?
Baptist Jews Love iamsurly too.
Thanks. Big smile. I go sip tisane.
Teas are my favorite beverage.
Camel meal tea. Some.
Jest a tiny thimble full.
Ava Maria. Hail Merry.
Velveeta. Very melty.
For all we know Stellaa is the Virgin Mary. She's all saint like and shit.
You are such a hoot! I loooove your blog.
Add some tomato soup and I am in!
Yeah well, I know how you did that.

crap. now it's going to be twice but the first one's wrong - I was excited - god.
Get Dave to stop whipping you.
It is a MIRACLE.
Add some bacon and you're done.
That's funny. I only ever get images of Satan on mine. Maybe because I use whole wheat instead of white...
You ate the Holy Mother!!

**runs crying into the deep dark woods**
Love it. I collect votive candles with images of the Virgin pasted to the side. Mostly, I get them at the grocery store. The grilled cheese is a nearly religious experience cooked this way, even without the Great Mother embossed on it.
Williams-Sonoma has a Panini Press on sale for 119.95
I love Stellaa more than you because she is (indeed) divine and tosses about words like "francophile". Of course, you my surly one, are more "francoamerican".
as in Spaghetti-Os. not divine.
Go get a panini and get off my blog: I am cracking up here!
Veveeta Pita... am considering taking up the challenge. Clearly a test for tolerance of white bread and Kraft Singles.
Is it wrong that I make my grilled cheese using a george foreman grill? My forman grill is like a panini maker if panini makers were made in compton.
I am surely ...
glad that iamsurly
spiels Stellaa write.

Lawyers hate Cambell's rice
homemade mead with fleas
Camel eyelash hair in strew

One definition of 'Feta' is crumbly
Mundane, and if you cough in bed
Miracles is you prey to Tink again

Weather one prays to gang member
Chic restaurant chefs, bistro kooks
typo
N 'k'
Cook
Camel
for dessert
We can always divorce cranky spouses who burn the bacon and grilled cheese.
I do have a belly ache.
I'll see Stellaa's therapist.
Holy Ma Ma was not bad.
She was not a bad crook.
She was not a snooper.
She wasn't evolved in`
Watergate.
Mom cooked shoo fly
Mom's pies were great
Vampires love fangs
Eat pie with hands
Pass oral culinary
I may go vomits

I do have a gurgle in my tummy.
On this second read of comment?
I confess i burn rummaged toast.

The miraculous relic
sand which is a broach
and I love blue blouses.

iamsurly captures a lard.
Lard of heaven and earth.
Thanks for the epiphanies.

I'll stuff Feta in the toaster.
I hope the good lard blesses.
Maybe I'll see a thyme herbs.

This deserves papal research.
O wear tomatoes to barrooms.
Stellaa? Pizza pie hats look cool.

You can feeds folks in the ghetto.
You are luminous as any miracle.
You detail extraordinary breads.

You can go with me to dumpster.
Forrest Gump was from Savanna.
I bet we find a half-bits chocolate.

Let's bum loot and erect church's.
You know how? Mix cement mud.
DCs lawyers can be better mason.
Yum! My own versions tend to use jalapeno jack or dill havarti. They're all delicious in their own creamy, gooey ways.
I don't think I've ever had a fancy grilled cheese that was better than the one you've described - butter, white bread, American cheese slices (even without Mary's visage).
Just like Mom used to make...except her grilled cheese sandwiches had images of Engelbert Humperdinck on them.
@Lisa- I could totally party with your mom.
I like this post on so many levels. Refreshing. To think, sometimes a grilled cheese is simply a grilled cheese.
"preferably unhealthy white bread with no nutritional value" just like mom used to make.r
Is that the Miracles of Mary Tour Bus pulling up at the curb in front of your place? :) Rated
Yup. Perfectamundo.

My only change is that I use Tillamook cheddar instead of Kraft American. The pre-sliced kind. I cannot slice cheese without ending up sans a finger or with slices that are an inch thick.
I see Munch's tormented soul in the grilled cheese. Or maybe the ultrasound of my first daughter at four months. Well done, Surly.
Are you sure that isn't the little mermaid?