Hello, it's me. I've thought about us for a long, long time. Maybe I think too much but something's wrong... Yeah, could someone please tell Todd Rundgren to stop signing in my head? I sent him a tweet the other day, but the bastard is still going off in my head.

I know, it's been a while since we last sat around and chatted about my latest opinion on something. Sorry about that. I've been busy. You've been... actually don't much care what you've been doing... this, as always, is all about me. Or more succinctly, what's bugging me. Lately I've been on this bent about people needing to step the fuck up and take a little responsibility for themselves and their actions.

Case in point that fucktard Anthony Weiner. It's not so much the fact that he took some pretty pathetic photographs of his Wee Willie Winkie and sent them out on Twitter. Or even that he later denied it. It's the fact that his solution to the whole public relations nightmare is to check into rehab. This is the kinda stuff that makes me just bat shit crazy. Rehab is for people with real problems, not poor judgement and an unoriginal PR campaign. People like Amy Winehouse, who sings about how much she doesn't want to go to rehab, belong there. The junkie whores who work the corner near my house belong there. Idiots like Weiner, Jesse James, and Tiger Woods don't. Instead of locking your ass away out of the public eye, and getting in touch with your inner-whatever-haunts-your-ass-when-you're-alone; own up to having  made some egregious judgement calls, atone and move on. Don't hide in one of Dr. Drew's clinics.

Oh, and while I'm on this little rant, here's a little something from the WTF files for you. Last night Dave and I are watching the news and they start talking about this former police chief, Paul Lawrence Wadley, who was arrested for putting photos of his junk on the windshields of cars at a park where he'd also exposed himself to some joggers. No. Really. What kind of grown ass man, with a career in law enforcement, flyers people's cars with pictures of his prick? With exemplary public servants like this we wonder why half the world wants to blow us up. Take some personal responsibility and don't take photos of your penis. Seriously. How hard is that?

 

But it's not just the stupid sex pranks of middle aged men that's bugging me. It's this national need to not take responsibility for our actions or their consequences. It's the simple things. Like the other day my friend Meribeth was in a restaurant and some unsupervised child walks up and starts pushing her to get her out of the way. No "Excuse me." No "Sorry." No manners. The mother, it seems, was too busy shovelling food into her face or talking on her phone to pay attention to the actions of her child. Here's the thing... YOU wanted to have that child. You made the commitment to raise that child to be a reasonably decent citizen. So step-up and pay attention and mind your child. Hilary Clinton may think it takes a village to raise a kid, but I do not. It's yours. Take some personal responsibility and parent it.

The other thing I'm tired of hearing is that nothing is ever "my" fault. It's not "my" fault that my child is obese. Um. Yeah it is. Quit feeding him french fries for lunch and make him play outside instead of letting the Playstation act as a babysitter while you sip your box white wine and chat on your cellphone. It's not "my" fault that my house is in foreclosure even though I bought a $500,000 home on a minimum wage salary. Of course it is. As my grandma used to say "Your eyes were bigger than your stomach." You felt entitled to a fancy house with the ubiquitous granite counter tops and can't live without stainless steel appliances, even though what you could really afford was a styrofoam cooler and a double wide. Sure, you got lured in by some shady mortgage broker in a fancy suit. But you and I both know that deep down you knew there had to be a catch. If it's too good to be true, it usually is. While I'm sorry you're in a bad situation, stop whining about it and take some personal responsibility and move forward.

Whew. I've been itching to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening. Oh, and if you don't like what you just heard, well... that's not my fault.