iamsurly

iamsurly
Location
Los Angeles, California, USA
Birthday
October 22
Title
ex-heiress
Bio
Charming young lady, with sharp tongue and vocabulary of a seasoned longshoreman, who carries in her handbag worn and tattered membership cards to the Mayflower Society and Daughters of the American Revolution, for which her dues are in arrears.

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Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 9, 2011 9:43AM

You Can Never Have Too Many Dress Rehearsals For A Swan Song

 (Author's note: This post was originally posted on 09/09/2009. It is being reposted on the anniversary of my sister's passing.)

parrishnme_n

 Parrish 'n' Me

 As I have mentioned in previous posts, my sister Parrish passed away from brain cancer two years ago.  Two years ago today i… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JUNE 28, 2011 9:54AM

The Art of Losing Your Looks

You might be inclined to think of this post as a pity party, and if so, consider this your invitation. Pull up a chair and get yourself a drink from the punchbowl. It's been spiked.

Apparently I'm supposed to be doing this ageing thing with some modicum of grace and… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 7, 2011 10:52AM

Farewell To Christopher Robin

This is a story I wrote after the passing of a friend that I was subsequently asked to read at her memorial service.  Stella, affectionately known as Christopher Robin amongst her friends for her often childlike innocence, was a professional athlete who in her twenties held the world record for… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
FEBRUARY 13, 2011 2:53PM

Surly's Guide to Valentine's Day Gifts

Well looky here, it's already Valentine's day. Could have poked my eye out with a stick before I'd have noticed, except for the fact that there's been all that pink and red wrapped candy and over-sized gift cards at the front of every store I've entered since all the Christmas decorations… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 5, 2011 10:22AM

From the Realm of Things I Don't Understand:Toilet Paper Ads

What? You expected a dissertation on a classier subject? From me? Have you read me? This isn't the first time I've talked openly about my own personal toilet paper preferences. So it wasn't a surprise when my friend Annie IM'd me and told me that this is a national issue… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 19, 2010 9:29PM

Do You Remember When It Was That Christmas Started To Suck?

 
Yeah. We wore matching outfits. Often.

 I can still remember fondly the days when Christmas was still full of mystery and wonder. When I would stay up all night waiting to hear the reindeer on the roof only to fall asleep at the last possible second. For years I… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
NOVEMBER 5, 2010 2:47PM

From the Realm of Bad Judgement: Scalers Shoes

Okay. Really. I'm sensitive about my weight. I know this. You know this. I'm usually working from the assumption that you're calling me fat. I'm always calling me fat, so why shouldn't you?

It must be a fall thing. Last year in November I wrote… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 2, 2010 11:00AM

HGTV - The Great Satan

I have a love-hate relationship with HGTV.  I love watching people renovate their homes or shop for new ones.  Mostly it's because I'm nosy.  I'm the kind of person who peeks in your medicine cabinet when I come over for dinner. (Which may explain why I don't get a lot of in… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
AUGUST 20, 2010 1:14PM

Call Me Fat? Go Suck Paper!

In my lifetime I've been on pretty much every diet known to man.  Right now, in fact, I'm back on Jenny Craig as it is one of the few diets that I can do with any success because I don't actually have to think about what I'm eating.  When I have… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
AUGUST 2, 2010 10:58PM

The Art of Waiting for Death - Revisited

 As a response to the new Made series, I am reposting this story, originally posted in August 2009. That which we make by hand has the power to express and endure in ways that technology can not hope to emulate.

parrish
Parrish

 The summer… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
AUGUST 1, 2010 4:29PM

"You Have Such A Pretty Face"

The other night I was having margaritas at a Mexican restaurant in Malibu with my girlfriends Stacy and Wendy.   While we were chatting over a basket of tortilla chips and a bowl of guacamole, I was relating the story of how my husband, Dave, called me a cuntasaurus the other… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 17, 2010 3:18PM

I Believe

Okay, so like, when I'm on the treadmill at the gym I'm usually watching TV or listening to a book on my iPhone to distract myself.  I'm on the damn thing for my health, not 'cause it's a good time, and if I'm not distracted I'll start counting my steps like… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 6, 2010 1:39PM

Sparkle and Shine: Vintage Teenage Americana

Last night I forced Dave to watch the 1959 classic Sandra Dee movie Gidget, again.  Not only is it one of my all-time favourite movies, it is also part of the genesis for much of the disappointment in my life.  Gidget is directly responsible for the fact that ¾ of the pants… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 25, 2010 4:54PM

Goddamn Hippie Granola Cookie & Tie Dyed Ice Cream Sandwich

Authors Note:  So I'm sitting there the other morning, drinking my coffee and minding my own business when I get a message on Facebook from 1_Instigating_Mother:"hey you west coast wonk - I challenge you to a granola-off - you got any game left?" And I'm thinkin' WTF isRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 11, 2010 10:14AM

Harper Valley PTA meets Footloose - Homos in Tuxes Forbidden

I betcha you would be surprised to discover I wasn't the Prom Queen in high school. Yeah, I know.  Shock, huh? It happens.  Not all high school dreams come true.  In my case I suspect it was because I didn't actually attend the prom.  In the case of the prom queen… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 4, 2010 12:43PM

The Episode Where Israel Is Defeated By Facebook

Following on my theme of the month, ABC News' website contains an article on the fact that the Israeli military was recently forced to cancel a mission to arrest a number of Palestinian militants in the West Bank because one of its soldiers updated his Facebook status with sensitive military informat… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
FEBRUARY 19, 2010 3:29PM

People I Do Not Understand: Gloria Allred & Joslyn James


Image borrowed from Daily Mail

Tiger Woods had barely regained consciousness in November and Ms. Allred was already on retainer by at least one of the alleged mistresses, Rachel Uchitel.  This morning she was hand holding yet another alleged mistress, Joslyn James, at a press conference/… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
FEBRUARY 17, 2010 11:11AM

From The Realm of Things I Do Not Understand: Figure Skating

I'm not a sporty girl.  I'll give you that.  I'm even less of a winter sports girl.  I don't ski.  I used to, but guess what? It's cold, requires too many layers of clothing, and the shoes hurt my feet.  Not to mention that I have a reasonable fear of hitting… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
FEBRUARY 12, 2010 12:53PM

Captain America Goes Tea Baggin'

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a Tea Bagger! 

Since 1941 Captain America has been keeping America safe from all manner of foes, both real and imagined by the clever folks at Marvel.  He fought the Nazis! He kept us safe from the commies during the great "Red… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
FEBRUARY 10, 2010 11:31PM

From the Realm Of Things I Do Not Understand: Reproduction

Well, here I go again.  I'm gonna say some things that will, undoubtedly, be wildly unpopular.  Go figure.

Last night I was doing that thing you do at the market, when you're really only there to pick up wine, but the store is so huge that you feel compelled to wander… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
FEBRUARY 4, 2010 2:30AM

The Great Girl Scout Cookie Caper of 1976

Betcha didn't know that once upon a time I was a Girl Scout.    I didn't last long in the scouts, unlike my husband who made it all the way to Eagle Scout.  (Yet, for some reason he refuses to indulge me in bedroom role playing where he wears his uniform… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 21, 2009 1:38PM

Walk Around In The All-Together & Go To Jail-Do Not Pass Go!

Okay... this is another hit from the Realm of Things I Do Not Understand.


Erick Williamson

 Mr. Williamson, a resident of Fairfax County, Virgina was convicted for indecent exposure for being naked in his own home. Yeah, you heard me.  Convicted. The story, as I understand it, is th… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 20, 2009 8:20PM

Defiling Graves For The Holiday - A Surly Family Tradition

forest_lawn
Forest Lawn Memorial Park - Glendale, CA

In the early part of the last century my great-grandparents bought enough plots at Forest Lawn Memorial Park to bury several generations of Surlys.  It never occurred to them that the later generations would find the idea of being confined to a co… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 14, 2009 2:29AM

Great Great Grandmère's French For Christmas Croquignolles

Every family has its holiday traditions, and the Surly clan is no exception.  In fact we have two!  We mix up an lethal batch of Gin Alexanders, and we spend several days making a fried pastry called Croquignolles from a recipe passed down over several generations.

croq

I am… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 8, 2009 2:19AM

Vintage Recipe Cards: Herbed Chicken & Artichokes

Further adventures in really bad food photography from the 1970's!

 

herbedchicken

 

Ingredients

2 1/2 to 3 pound broiling chicken, cut up
Salt and pepper
1 cup chicken bouillon
1 clove garlic, minced
1 branch celery, cut in half
1/2 cup coarsely chopped carrots
Bouquet Garni: thyme, parsley, bay l… Read full post »