iamsurly

iamsurly
Location
Los Angeles, California, USA
Birthday
October 22
Title
ex-heiress
Bio
Charming young lady, with sharp tongue and vocabulary of a seasoned longshoreman, who carries in her handbag worn and tattered membership cards to the Mayflower Society and Daughters of the American Revolution, for which her dues are in arrears.

MY RECENT POSTS

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I regularly tease my sister Helen that she is reaping the rewards of her own youthful adventures by having to raise her teenage girls. And while she may be suffering a kind of karmic blow-back, she can take some solace in knowing that she's got their number and has a better… Read full post »

MAY 6, 2009 12:59PM

The Language of Death

I am a huge fan of the Dave Robicheaux novels by James Lee Burke. One of the reasons I like these books is that the dialogue frequently sounds like something out of The Godfather.  Conversations between main character Dave Robicheaux and his former police partner Clete Purcell are frequently pep… Read full post »

 

Pinata

 

 

Since a number of us seem to be in a festive foodie mood this fine Cinco de Mayo, I thought I would try to throw a little OS Mexican Fiesta - just in case you missed any of these treasures while the OS tech department has been… Read full post »

MAY 5, 2009 10:25AM

Tamale Pie por Cinco de Mayo

I grew up in a household of women who really couldn't cook.  Mostly because they didn't really eat.  My grandmother, the original health nut, ate like a bird and followed a diet designed by her a Chinese nutritionist, Dr. Dong, whom she regularly flew to San Francisco to see.  He cured… Read full post »

MAY 3, 2009 7:32PM

Dear Fuck Face

 Posting the story about my sister Parrish reminded me of an email exchange that took place between my estranged father Mike (more a sperm donor than a parent), my mother, my youngest half-sister Helen (who has never laid eyes on him in her 35 years), and myself a few months after… Read full post »
MAY 2, 2009 11:38PM

Swine I'd Like To See Get The Flu

I was a dinner last night at my cousin's house when the phone rang.  Over the speaker of the answering machine came a woman's voice.  She was calm, authoritative, and pre-recorded.  She wanted to let us know that, as of today, there have been no documented cases of Swine Flu in… Read full post »

MAY 2, 2009 4:45AM

Damn You Jay Leno!

Tonight I nodded off while watching the local news.  I was roused from slumber when my husband came to bed, only to find that the news was over and Jay Leno was on.  As a rule I don't watch Jay - I'm a Letterman kinda gal.  I just don't think Jay… Read full post »

Dear Mr. Goodell;

 I should begin this letter by telling you that I am not a football fan.  Rather, I am the ubiquitous football widow.  My seasonal neglect is compounded by the intellectual assault of the endless strategies and statistics of fantasy football.  I don't understand… Read full post »

APRIL 30, 2009 7:52PM

Two Truths & A Lie: My Confession

My answers were:

 1. I am the Mandy that Barry Manilow sang about.

2. I gave Superman a dressing down in the 9th grade.

3. I spent a drunken weekend in a Mexican hotel with 3 out of 4 of the Baldwin brothers.

Read full post »

1. I am the Mandy that Barry Manilow sang about.

2. I gave Superman a dressing down in the 9th grade.

3. I spent a drunken weekend in a Mexican hotel with 3 out of 4 of the Baldwin brothers.

APRIL 29, 2009 12:20PM

Call Me Dr. Love - Updated

On the local news this morning, which I was watching while having my daily jolt of Joe, there was a short piece on the foods that can enhance your sex life.  Since I'm a foodie and will use any excuse to eat more and have more sex, I was eagerly attentive.… Read full post »

Cake of Roses

 Tonight in cake decorating class, I made a basket full of roses which I would like to present to Freaky, since this is clearly ALL ABOUT FREAKY DAY on OS.
Read full post »

APRIL 28, 2009 11:05AM

Ass Crack Sandwich

While reading Aaroncynic's What's In A Band Name last week I was reminded of an old project of my husband's and mine.  The legendary, if not completely imaginary, punk band Ass Crack Sandwich.

 

Ass Crack Sandwich

 

When we first hooked up Dave, my husband, was in a rock band called Patchwork… Read full post »

APRIL 26, 2009 12:46PM

Bruno Stop Blowing Your Brother!

"Jack, why does your nose smell like Sally's ass?"

"Sally!  You're such a whore."  (She's rolling on her back with her legs splayed wide open making obscene whining noises while Jack licks her stomach.)

"Please don't eat the yard nuggets Bruno." (Bruno's culinary tastes are borderline at be… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 24, 2009 1:38PM

Why Facebook Gives Me Grief

It’s been almost 2 years now since Parrish passed away and those who knew and loved her experience their grief in unique ways. While I frequently go to pick up the phone and call her to get her take on the latest installment in our family saga only to realize she’s… Read full post »
APRIL 22, 2009 7:59PM

Mirror, Mirror

My family has a magical mirror. It is a huge ornate gold mirror that once hung in the White House, and when you stand in front of it, it magically transforms you to be inches taller and pounds lighter. For generations women have come from far and wide to our home… Read full post »

APRIL 21, 2009 6:44PM

Foodie Tuesday: Beer Cake

Beer Cake

BEER CAKE

Because it is Foodie Tuesday, and because Tuesday is also my cake decorating class. And because I'm secretly hoping to impress Freaky.

Seriously.  I've taken a course, I'm trained and I know tricks.

Last night, prior to stumbling upon Kind of Blue's post  Pitbulls in Spamalot is Eating Away My Brain, I was whining to my husband that, even in my short time here at OS, I've grown weary of the same… Read full post »

This is a story I wrote after the passing of a friend that I was subsequently asked to read at her memorial service.  Stella, affectionately known as Christopher Robin amongst her friends for her often childlike innocence, was a professional athlete who in her twenties held the world record for… Read full post »

APRIL 19, 2009 8:18PM

When Dining With The Queen

"Would you do that when you are dining with the Queen?" was a common question asked in my home when I was growing up. My grandmother, whose penchant for etiquette came from her own Victorian mother, insisted that all her children and grandchildren be prepared for this inevitable dinner invitation.… Read full post »

APRIL 19, 2009 1:57PM

Stop Playing With My Food

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have rather bizarre dreams. In my REM world I am married to Evil Dave, who is, as his name implies the exact opposite of my husband, or rather he is everything Dave and I both wish he was. Evil Dave… Read full post »

APRIL 17, 2009 10:45AM

Little Ms. 2%

I know that it's not terribly PC of me to say that I hate the anorexic looking personal trainer I see every day at my gym, but I do. It is a disease and I should be sympathetic. But I am not. I resent her. I have no proof… Read full post »

When I say you, I mean you, and you know who you are.

You are the person in the car in front of me who, despite California legislation, does not have to wear a headset when using your cell phone and driving. You, it would appear, are exempt, and despite your abysmal… Read full post »

After reading Verbal Remedy's "I'll Show You Mine if You Show Me Yours", I decided to play with My Virtual Model™ . This is not the first avatar I've ever made, so there was no real shock value in seeing myself in cartoon form. In the 90's I was… Read full post »

APRIL 5, 2009 1:45PM

The Ghosts of Boyfriends Past

Lately, courtesy of Facebook, I have been spending quite a bit of time revisiting my past. Some of it has not been terribly pretty, but, mind you, the wardrobe has rocked. I have reconnected with old friends whom I've not seen or spoken with in 25-30 years, and… Read full post »