It seems that I am continually waging war between my personal quest for self-improvement (screw self-acceptance) and my limited budget.  For example my breasts, which seem to have appeared fully formed as a D-cup when I was 10, have met with the effects of gravity.  While I have no desire t… Read full post »

Okay boys and girls, enough is enough.  It appears to me that some of you, and you know precisely who you are so I don't need to call out names, are spoiling for a fight. What in the hell is your problem?  Did you not get what you wanted from Santa… Read full post »

I took a risk this weekend. I veered off course from the lighter side of OS and ventured to comment on DktrShe's post about breast-feeding in public. Bad idea. Now, here is an even worse idea. I am going to blog more about it.

What I really took offense to… Read full post »

When I was about nine my cousin Mary taught me how to shave my legs.  She was very clear about the fact that you only needed to shave the front of your legs, because no one was going to see the hair on the back.  Our mothers had a good old… Read full post »

Before you get your knickers in a twist, let me make a few points of clarification first.

1. If you have Erectile Dysfunction, I am not mocking you.  That totally sucks.  Although I don't have a penis and can't imagine what it would be like to discover it doesn't work properly,… Read full post »

First, let me go on record as saying I've got nice tits.  You can ask my husband, he'll vouch for them.  My tits are natural, no silicone or bags of saline or peanut oil or whatever they are putting in implants these days.  Not to mention, they come complete with a… Read full post »

I'm not a sporty girl.  I'll give you that.  I'm even less of a winter sports girl.  I don't ski.  I used to, but guess what? It's cold, requires too many layers of clothing, and the shoes hurt my feet.  Not to mention that I have a reasonable fear of hitting… Read full post »

I betcha you would be surprised to discover I wasn't the Prom Queen in high school. Yeah, I know.  Shock, huh? It happens.  Not all high school dreams come true.  In my case I suspect it was because I didn't actually attend the prom.  In the case of the prom queen… Read full post »

Nothing says the holidays to me like a little Burl Ives singing "Silver and Gold" while narrating Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I live for my annual trip to the Island of Misfit Toys.  Every holiday I wait patiently to hear Yukon Cornelius exclaim "Bumbles bounce!" To me Christmas isn… Read full post »

Remember that episode of Friends when they are sitting around trying to come up with the list of 5 celebrities they can sleep with without upsetting their partner?  Chandler chooses: Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and Jessica Rabbit. Rachel lists:  Chris O’… Read full post »

The other day after reading Scott Christian's post about America's excessive addiction to 3-ply toilet tissue in which he postulates "At the end of the day though, cleaning your backside really shouldn’t qualify as an area of luxury...", I posed this question to him: "Dude, have you ever had he… Read full post »

So the other day I got my knuckles rapped by a fellow OSer for providing the sample steps to finding out details about just about anyone via Facebook.  She accused me of giving those who would do wrong a manual.  Kinda like I was writing the Anarchist's Cookbook for Facebook. Yeah,… Read full post »

I'm a snob.  I'm not too proud to admit that. I like nice things, and I like them to be real.  Give me diamonds, not Cubic Zirconia. Give me chocolate, not carob. There are only a few items where I make allowances. First is processed cheese ( I love Velveeta); second… Read full post »

 I’m not a natural traveler. I have traveled a significant amount in my lifetime, but I’ve never learned to do it particularly well. I over pack. When you’re going somewhere for three to four weeks, you never know what you’re going to need, and when you’re working… Read full post »

I'm making popcorn.  Who wants a bowl?  Personally I prefer white cheddar popcorn, but if you all are gonna vote for movie theatre butter I won't quibble.  I've got my Red Vines and Mike and Ikes too.  I have never understood Raisinettes or Goobers.  Who wants to eat somethin… Read full post »

Seriously.  What's with all the shouting, name calling, and bickering? Kids throwing sand in a playground behave better than y'all do. Really. As they say on the playground "Act your age not your shoe size!" I'm getting bored listening to your incessant whining and the echo that happens when rea… Read full post »

You'd be surprised, I'd bet, to discover that I don't like to talk about myself.  Well, that's not totally true.  I don't mind talking to you about me, but I don't want to talk to other people about me.  Mind you, I don't mind if you talk about me to them. … Read full post »

Image borrowed from Daily Mail

Tiger Woods had barely regained consciousness in November and Ms. Allred was already on retainer by at least one of the alleged mistresses, Rachel Uchitel.  This morning she was hand holding yet another alleged mistress, Joslyn James, at a press conference/… Read full post »

So like last week, y'know? Me and 1_Irritated_Mother were hanging out 'round Judy Berman's blog trash talkin' the latest Salon Kitchen Challenge.  So like, I, half jokin' y'know, challenged 1_Ingrateful_Mother to a bourbon slushie-off.  And she's all like "oh - it is on. yes. like donkey ko… Read full post »

We've all had those days when our hair won't behave, and we've all had those dreadful haircuts that make us want to take a pair of scissors to our hairdresser.  My first bad haircut was in the fifth grade when the Dorothy Hamill wedge haircut was all the rage.  Unfortunately the… Read full post »

A couple of weeks back I wrote about an issue I've been having with my bladder and what great joy it has brought to my life over the last few months. Well, after making significant headway into my annual health insurance deductible, the urologist has decided that it is time to… Read full post »

Well, here I go again.  I'm gonna say some things that will, undoubtedly, be wildly unpopular.  Go figure.

Last night I was doing that thing you do at the market, when you're really only there to pick up wine, but the store is so huge that you feel compelled to wander… Read full post »

Seriously.  I've taken a course, I'm trained and I know tricks.

Last night, prior to stumbling upon Kind of Blue's post  Pitbulls in Spamalot is Eating Away My Brain, I was whining to my husband that, even in my short time here at OS, I've grown weary of the same… Read full post »

The husband and I spent our Saturday Christmas shopping for his family.  It was a fruitless exercise.  The reality is that I hate Christmas shopping. It's not that I don't want to shower my loved ones with gifts; it's just that it becomes something that I have to do, and as… Read full post »