It seems that I am continually waging war between my personal quest for self-improvement (screw self-acceptance) and my limited budget.  For example my breasts, which seem to have appeared fully formed as a D-cup when I was 10, have met with the effects of gravity.  While I have no desire t… Read full post »

I took a risk this weekend. I veered off course from the lighter side of OS and ventured to comment on DktrShe's post about breast-feeding in public. Bad idea. Now, here is an even worse idea. I am going to blog more about it.

What I really took offense to… Read full post »

When I was about nine my cousin Mary taught me how to shave my legs.  She was very clear about the fact that you only needed to shave the front of your legs, because no one was going to see the hair on the back.  Our mothers had a good old… Read full post »

First, let me go on record as saying I've got nice tits.  You can ask my husband, he'll vouch for them.  My tits are natural, no silicone or bags of saline or peanut oil or whatever they are putting in implants these days.  Not to mention, they come complete with a… Read full post »

Before you get your knickers in a twist, let me make a few points of clarification first.

1. If you have Erectile Dysfunction, I am not mocking you.  That totally sucks.  Although I don't have a penis and can't imagine what it would be like to discover it doesn't work properly,… Read full post »

Remember that episode of Friends when they are sitting around trying to come up with the list of 5 celebrities they can sleep with without upsetting their partner?  Chandler chooses: Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and Jessica Rabbit. Rachel lists:  Chris O’… Read full post »

The other day after reading Scott Christian's post about America's excessive addiction to 3-ply toilet tissue in which he postulates "At the end of the day though, cleaning your backside really shouldn’t qualify as an area of luxury...", I posed this question to him: "Dude, have you ever had he… Read full post »

 I’m not a natural traveler. I have traveled a significant amount in my lifetime, but I’ve never learned to do it particularly well. I over pack. When you’re going somewhere for three to four weeks, you never know what you’re going to need, and when you’re working… Read full post »

We've all had those days when our hair won't behave, and we've all had those dreadful haircuts that make us want to take a pair of scissors to our hairdresser.  My first bad haircut was in the fifth grade when the Dorothy Hamill wedge haircut was all the rage.  Unfortunately the… Read full post »

Seriously.  I've taken a course, I'm trained and I know tricks.

Last night, prior to stumbling upon Kind of Blue's post  Pitbulls in Spamalot is Eating Away My Brain, I was whining to my husband that, even in my short time here at OS, I've grown weary of the same… Read full post »

Years ago when I first started working in event production for the entertainment industry we teasingly called my girlfriend Carol "Star Slut" because being incredibly beautiful and incredibly outgoing she could easily snare the attention of nearly any given male celebrity around us.   One d… Read full post »

Last night the husband and I were watching NCIS.  Yes, we're that lame.  Aside from Mark Harmon aging well and still being totally hot, one of the reasons I enjoy the show is the character of Abby Sciuto played by Pauley Perrette.

 I don't know Pauley Perrette personally, and h… Read full post »

This morning, while watching Kathy Lee and Hoda Kotb on the Today Show (we'll discuss the poor judgment this shows at another time), Hoda Kotb tried and succeeded at pissing me off.  In the opening dialogue of the show Hoda and Kathy Lee start talking about the David Letterman scandal… Read full post »

Yes, these very words were uttered to me this morning by my adoring husband.  In previous pithy posts I have divulged bits of the nightmare that is my husband's life since he married me.  While he is a good and kind man, were it not for his marriage to me, he… Read full post »

When I say you, I mean you, and you know who you are.

You are the person in the car in front of me who, despite California legislation, does not have to wear a headset when using your cell phone and driving. You, it would appear, are exempt, and despite your abysmal… Read full post »

Masturbation.  There I said it. I'll say it again, masturbation.  Honestly, it's not a pretty word, it doesn't roll right off the tongue.  It is so clinical sounding.  It sounds more fun when you say things like "jerking off" or "wanking" or "diddling" or"two finger taco tango."&n… Read full post »

I've been on the bench since my return from Jamaica.  The pain medication that the doctor has prescribed for me tends to make me lethargic, if not narcoleptic. My husband has on more than one occasion found me face down in my dinner or snoring away on the couch using one… Read full post »

Now normally I am not a mustache loving girl.  Tom Selleck never did a damn thing for me, which is probably because he is the poor man's Sam Elliott.

Whether playing a cowboy

or a biker with a heart of gold

the man exudes… Read full post »

Lesson 1: All-Inclusive Is The Same Thing As All You Can Eat.

Let me tell ya, doesn't matter how many stars a hotel is sporting and how pretty to view from your room, three weeks is a long time to spend in a resort.  While it is nice to have… Read full post »

Seriously.  This question has been plaguing me for months. Or really, it has been driving my husband nuts and by extension filling more of my conversations with euphemisms for the bowel movements than I care for. If you've got IBS/Crohns or something akin, you've got my wholehearted sympathy - a… Read full post »

 Parrish 'n' Me

 As I have mentioned in previous posts, my sister Parrish passed away from brain cancer two years ago.  Two years ago today in fact.  My family chooses to remember her in different ways.  Today we have all altered our Facebook statuses as a… Read full post »

 Last night while watching the train wreck that is The Real Housewives of Orange County on Bravo there was an advert for an upcoming show called Launch My Line.  This gentleman, and according to Google a longtime fashionista called "Dandy" in New York, Patrick McDonald was the parti/… Read full post »

So here's the thing.  I've never been fully comfortable with my name.  My first name, Vernette, is an heirloom handed down to the first daughter of every first daughter on my maternal side since the Civil War.  The first Vernette was named as an homage to a neighboring family whose las… Read full post »

Further adventures in really bad food photography from the 1970's!

Ingredients

2 cups sweet potatoes, mashed
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1/4 cup chopped onion
2 tablespoons chopped green pepper
2 tablespoons flour
2 cups beef bouillon, heated… Read full post »