Here am the unique sequence of events:

Prelude: I am treated to a free lunch on Sunday at The Neat Restaurant over there in Townville, with the understanding that I will write a favorable review. Which I agree to do, on the condition that I survive the experience. Which I do, and why not? Gourmet food. One of Those Gigs. Are we ready?

Monday, 11:34 a.m. The sales person who handles The Neat Restaurant account tells me she had a bad dream in which I failed to tip the waitress on Sunday. As it happens, I failed to tip the waitress: no cash, no ATM at the marina. Alas & Goddamn.

11:35 a.m. I inform the salesvolk about this. Pandemonium ensues. Tears, recriminations, shame and blame. I shrug: no cash, no ATM, no purchase, therefore no tip. Take a joke, somebody. Go read the papers.

Intermission: Many meetings off stage, after which sales manager Bruce comes to me and says, Will, say it ain't so! I say it's so. Bruce is nonplussed.

11:45 a.m. I jet off to interview local luthier/musician Carter Ruff, and not coincidentally to blow his mind (or a tiny part of it anyway) by playing one of his guitars. I am no ordinary reporter; I have Skills.

12:15 p.m. Back at the house, check the email, realize that I have books to mail, but no money to mail them with. I see that one of the "sold" books is a gigantherus humongoid computer language book. Shit, I say, I bet I've gotta ship that sucker to Germany or something. I print out the shipping label: It's going to Germany.

12:15:05 p.m. I issue a refund to the German geek -- "No book, so sorry."

12:22 p.m. Jet off to The Neat Restaurant to leave a $5 tip.

12:41 p.m. I arrive at The Neat Restaurant. No one at that end is concerned about the tip, but the waitress gratefully accepts the $5. I jet off for home/pb&j.

12:45 p.m. The Low Fuel warning comes on. Alas & Goddamn.

12:45:01 p.m. I pass a Sagadahoc Sheriff's deputy, who is trolling for sinners along Rte. (rhymes with "out") 27. I get about 1/4 mile down the road before his lights come on and the sucker is after me, no doubt loading his riot gun as he rips down Rte. 27 in full pursuit. A&G, etc.

12:46:05 p.m. I swear. Bad words come out of my mouth like bats from a burning cave. Then I take a breath, and I say to the universe, "Universe, I'm down here doing good deeds. I'm shelling out money I don't have to tip for a meal I did not elect to eat, burning gas I can't afford to burn en route (rhymes with "boot"). Moreover, I'm going the speed limit, and all of my lights are functioning. I think. Anyway, it is broad daylight, or broader. I am not using my cell phone and I am not drunk or stoned or tired or even particularly irritable. It is another day. Give me a freaking break, okay?"

12:46:22 p.m. The Sagadahoc Sheriff's deputy cuts his lights and turns around. Hmm.

Intermission: A pleasant drive. Trees, birds, clouds, river. I sing a little bit.

1:20:03 p.m. Having slammed a pb&j at my place, I reach for the switch to shut off the computer, but then I think, But maybe Jennie has answered my email!

1:20:05 p.m. I look in my inbox there at Hotmail (rhymes with "orange"). Note from Jennie. System says it was sent at 1:20 p.m. I read the note: She adores me, too.

1:20:10 p.m. Copacetic.

See? It's all lining up. And it all means something. Yes, it does.