Dr. Spudman44

Dr. Spudman44
Tumbleweed, Washington,
June 06
Dr. Spudman's 44 Ripples of Hope Creations
BANNER BY RICTRESA I live on the border of Eastern Washington and Idaho. I have been a teacher, coach, and mental health worker. I make books for people and write some myself. I tutor a few people. Come visit me at my website. It has some cool stuff. Scroll down to links and click on www.drspud44.net


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MARCH 22, 2010 5:00PM

The OS Mental Illness is Wearing Me Down

Rate: 95 Flag

I know mental illness when I see it.  I have had people tell me about the Queen of England's flying midgets, the Japanese Jerry Springer and gotten complaints about one of my clients farting in Chinese.  One of my clients was arrested for waving a flag on a crosswalk in a busy intersection while naked. I know crazy.  

confused man

 I sit in my little OS corner and do my thing.  I ignore or make fun of most of the  negative stuff I see but it gets to me sometimes.  I have taken breaks from this place before.  I joined in August of 2008 which makes me a near tribal elder around here.  The nuttiness is something I must comment on for my own mental health. 

First, the right wingers that are here.  The first question is why are they here?  I have looked at their posts and they are always the same.  They are exactly like the yipping little dog on the corner who barks at me everytime I walk past his yard to the store.  These nuts yip, yip, yip the same thing every post.  Okay, wingnuts we get it.  You hate liberals.  Obama is an idiot and the worst president ever.  We understood the first hundred times.  Why do they continue the posts?  They get some support from  one another in spreading their hate but certainly don't change anyone's mind about anything.  It is the purest form of insanity.  Few of them have a single post about a tender moment, a challenge they have overcome, an inspirational piece, a little poem or a fictional short story. Not even a well-thought out essay on why they are right.  Nope.  Just yip, yip, yip, yip.    A one tune concert. Crazy it is.


Next up,  are the nuts who think it just dandy to put "Fuck" and other cuss words in a headline and people's names.  This is junior high immaturity. It is an embarrassment to all of us.   I am no prude.  I cuss all the time and use "Fuck" in a variety of ways but in a headline?  Come on, now!  And naming people in a negative way in a headline.  Are you fucking shitting me?  Go get some Geodyn immediately.  

The dolts who just have to go over to someone's post and say something horrid.  No real purpose but to be a mean bitch or bastard.  It is the classic:  "If you can't get applause tomatoes will do," syndrome.  Can you say stupid Fucker?


Those who often jump into some argument with both feet and then say this classic:  "This is why I rarely come here  any more.  It is so negative here."  Excuse me?  You come over to an argument and pour gasoline all over the place yourself and then complain that things are negative?  I cannot be kind here.  You are bugfuck nuts!

The mob virtual barroom brawl crowd.  Someone puts up a post and others disagree.  Pretty soon the disagreement, which may have started off as reasonable,  turns into a personal thing with people cracking one another over the head with verbal assaults and saying outrageous things from behind the safety and anonimity of the computer screen.  Hey, go over to the Daily Kos if that is your cup of tea and have at it.  Better yet go write a poem or do something productive.  Ad hominen attacks should be banned here.  State your opinion and then shut up.  Is that so hard?


The unforgiver type.  You write something and someone disagrees in a proper, sensible way but that is to you a cardinal sin.  You toast them forever even though you have much in common.  You think that is rational? 

One guy who I truly liked complained about people not giving him enough attention.  Jesus Christ, he posted three times a day every day.  How much attention does he think we have?  There are hundreds of post per day and your third one only got seven comments and you wonder why?  

The fiction- poetry thing over and over again.  There is already a fiction button and a way to label things fiction.  The problem is not with the big, bad editors.  It is the fact that most of us are like karaoke singers.  We are standing up singing our version of Elvis's In the Ghetto with our eyes closed and our bodies rocking  with emotion.  But we are mostly amateurs and although we hit a few good notes it ain't all that wonderful.  It is wonderful that you created a story and some characters but this is a part of America.  Americans don't read much. Reading fiction is not something everyone enjoys especially on line.  I am the worst offender here.  This is where my mental illness shows itself. 


I actually posted a 6,000 word Christmas story and expected people to take twenty minutes or so to read it.  What an arrogant bit of grandioseness on my part.  Actually, many did which after my own Geodyn hit took over, I thought was quite remarkable.  If you are a fiction person then go to it.  Write it and put it out there but lower the expectations.  Anything over a ten rating is a sterling fiction  writing accomplishment.  People are most interested in human interest, and short blinks that are easily read.  I am trying to reform myself.  Serials are especially tough for others to follow even if they like it.  Things move too fast around here.  Your chapter three gets lost in the shuffle because stupid stuff like this post takes up part of the feed.  

The thing I like about fiction here is that once I do a story it is in my posts history and I like the way they look here.   It is a way of doing a portofolio.  Because of this place I have now created twelve books in eightteen months which I would have never done without this place.  But Steinbeck himself could put up a story and it would only get a 15 rating here.  It is not appropriate for the marketplace.   All the shouting  about fiction being ignored is extremely ironic. A few weeks ago,  the big hit of the day was a post about how fiction was being ignored while people were posting fiction.  It was supposed to be fiction Friday.  Think about that for a moment.  An OS meta post on fiction being ignored got almost 1300 hits and my friend Daniel's excellent  fiction story got five comments.  Does that seem a little odd?  Crazy perhaps?  


Keep your drink, just gimme the money
It's just you and your hand tonight

My son makes fun of me for listening to the singer, Pink.  He calls me a thirteen year old girl.  I am 58 but I love Pink.  Tease me if you want but anyone who has a song entitled :   It's Just You and Y-Ru Hand Tonight is going to have me as a fan forever.  In one of her songs she sings:

Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person staring back at me
I'm a hazard to myself

Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself, so irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

 The video shows her fighting with her own reflection in the mirror.  Which leads me to my final point.  OS meta-posts.  We are talking to ourselves about ourselves, people.  It is crazy.  We are a hazard to ourselves. I deserve a thumping myself for writing this. 


Thank you for allowing me to release my tension.  You can attempt to send me a bill for the free therapy but I will just throw it with the rest of bills  so good luck, you wonderful collection of mentally ill nutcases.   I am going fishing for a bit.  See you around.    

morning fishing


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"farting in Chinese" is the best thing I've read in days.
Have I told you lately that I love you?

With the utmost passion,
Another nut to be cracked.
All good points. As one mental health professional [retired] to another [not retired], may I suggest dusting lampshades? It's very zen.
Hilarious, and true Dr. Spud. Good writing too.
I cannot stop looking at that karaoke poster & Harry is right - that is the line of the year!
I was amused by the image of the pursed lipped schoolmarm cracking the cowpoke's kid over the head for saying ain't instead of isn't. Your words are wise, Doc.
"We are talking to ourselves, about ourselves, people." Those are always the most popular posts. I did it myself once and ended up with a "meta-post" before I even knew what a meta-post was. I experienced something akin to The Wrath of Khan. Not going there again. Now I write mainly about my life, my kids, my writing, dealing with getting older and no one cares. It's better that way. -r
for Christ's sake would you just give it to us straight xx a
Finally, I was waiting for this.
And I think it needs to be a Grande cup of STFU
Thank You!
Okay, I'm laughing my butt off here. All things considered, I think I would perfer to be fishing myself.

well said, Dr - the title says it all xoxo
I knew I liked you the 1st time I read a post of yours. I had come over to read you after a comment of yours on someone else's blog intrigued me.

You've got common sense, a wealth of experience to draw wisdom from, and ya tell the truth. Your predilection for fishing in times of trouble speaks volumes also.

Thanks for sharing. This place needs ya. Don't stay gone too long.

Can you loan me a rod and some worms?
Not exactly sure why yet, but something about this post deeply offends me, so I'm gonna go get my gang of loyalists to come over here and say pretty much the same thing (except for the bringing the gang over part because they'll already be here).

Other than that I laffed my ass off. I've started several times over my several months here to say "Jesus Christ" in a vain sort of way in the occasional post, but I always opted for "fuck" or something less ecclesiastical sounding. I've said "sheesh" and "geeze" and even "jayzuz" a few times, but I've never named the big guy head-on. You've broken that barrier for me, and I thank you.

But you're not completely off the hook, as I'm still considering bringing my gang over here. They're still hot from the last war and I don't want them to cool down too fast, don'tcha know. (r)
Have fun while fishing.
k, you go fish and I'll do laundry and a li'l cardio. ;)

Doc, I have stopped coming around OS regularly because every time I do, someone's ripping someone else's arm off and beating them with it. I grew tired of all the animosity and spewing of vitriol and now check in once a week, maybe every coupla weeks or so. Most times I don't comment, but sniff the trails silently.

I gotta say, I wondered if my next to last comment (if you go to my page- the one under the American Idol one) qualified me as bugfuck nuts since it has a bit of an argumentative spin, but I don't know. I wasn't so much after anyone, but rather offering support for the attacked. If I came off as bugfuck nuts, I'm hopin' you might gimme a pass on that one, but I'm cool if you don't.

Oh, and I really like "bugfuck nuts"- can you tell? ;)

Of course, I must say this post is.....

Rated for 'shut the fuck up.' I have a lot of patience and little desire to cuss anymore. However, I think sometimes it serves the purpose on occasion (but I agree about the headline thing). The one thing I struggle tolerating, which is my issue, is when people go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on
about the same thing, usually not on their own blog, trying to repeat themselves 20 different ways. I think in most cases, 2 comments should be a maximum. It's like needles on the chalkboard already. Worse than that? A blogger who refuses to manage their space and allow that kind of carp. But, that's just me.

Hope the fishing was fucking grand. Okay, I've met my daily quota.
I click "Rate" as soon as I see your name. Excellent post, btw.
Thank you, spud. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Unfortunately, some of the truly mentally ill will not recognize themselves in your words.
All excellent, excellent points, Doctor.

Though I do have to admit a meta party is fun now and then... ;-)
This was astutely hysterical!
Truest lines? "We are talking to ourselves about ourselves, people. It is crazy. We are a hazard to ourselves."
Thank you.
You're one in a few billion, spudman. Fishing sounds like bliss . . . and I like Pink as well. She's just so goddamn kick ass!
I haven't been online much lately but when I saw your post ... ahhhh. Now I remember why I am always looking for your posts! Thank you for the great laugh and the cuss words that get tossed in the mix ... pure (in)sanity moments for me especially with two kids and a hubby and a dog all getting spring fever and momma is just being a bear because she has no time to read and write. ;o)

Love this and rated it!
I was skeptical to think that Mental Illness was contagious... until I joined OS.
Dr. S....you know I love you...xox
Last night I posted a parody of the OS front page. It got twice as many comments as anything I've ever posted here. I loved the attention, but it's a little depressing too. Jeez, it would be nice if people read stuff that wasn't self-referential once in a while.

Now can someone teach me how to fart in Chinese? It's probably a more lucrative skill than writing here!
I always dress in cellophane and see Sarah Ran.
If I was Dr. Spud's client, I'd wear a red gourd.
I hope you catch cute catfish, crappies, and Sun.
One Spud say to another Spud`Ya Nuts, Spud.
You two.
We all nut, Spud.
Spud, you coo nut.
Never read a thing you wrote before today, and glad I did. Funniest stuff I've read in a long time. I've been on a five-month hiatus due to just the kind of bullshit you mentioned. And I didn't preface my leaving with "hey, Y'ALL, I'm leaving..."--I just packed up quietly. I didn't want to be a part of all the ball-busting & penis-waving, and I only mention that now because I feel like I might have just seen an appreciable sign that there are still some sane folks frequenting OS. I have faved you and I plan on reading more.
OS is like the world's biggest nut house, except we don't get cool jackets that tie up in the back!! ;)

**wanders off**
This is a great legacy. ; )
You catchem', I'll cleanem' and Torman will cookem". That my friend is good eating! (and a great post)
I love your poster of the cup of shut the fuck up. I'd like to put that up on the wall at work.
Well I read your post thoroughly, and although I am considered by my wife to be mentally unstable I will have to smoke another doobie to fully comprehend what you are saying. But just off the top of my head I figure I'm rich, retired, have a beautiful wife and two lovely daughters so I can continue to just not give a FUCK if I don't want to. It was too windy today to go fishing, maybe tomorrow if the wife says I can. People tend to destroy things they can't have or understand, apparently there are many here that don't like themselves much either. Thanks for the session DrS, you clarified a lot for me I think. Be well my friend, loonies are lurking somewhere. older/exasperated *****R checks in the mail
I agree with what you're saying ... I think ... but I got really distracted by an intense desire for flying midgets of my own, which apparently means I'm mentally ill and shouldn't comment anyway.

But, yes. Definitely. The dead horse beat is not my scene at all.
Perfect remedy for a day in corporate land. I feel much better. I think.
"How much attention does he think we have? "

Maybe we are the literary version of Karaoke.

Good job, Mr. Spudman. Good job.
The images really bring this to a whole other level. I like the soldier shut with a nice, hot mug of shut the fuck up.

But the image of the saloon? That's so us! That's Open Saloon! (You can totally plagiarize that, any of you!)
I like angry Pink but that whole "lets get the party started" bit ain't my cup o' Dr. Pepper, I am avoiding tea references these days.

I almost started a flame war, not on purpose and it was really easy to just delete the post, problem solved.

I was once attacked personally in another persons post. I just avoided that person from that day on, plus the posters that patted the individual on the back for such a great post. Problem solved.

And I wrote one piece of fiction. I got three positive comments and a couple of thumbs up, I was ecstatic.

So thanks for your post, perfect stuff.
I love the poster of the big cup. That is truly common sense.

"The fiction- poetry thing over and over again. There is already a fiction button and a way to label things fiction. The problem is not with the big, bad editors. It is the fact that most of us are like karaoke singers. We are standing up singing our version of Elvis's In the Ghetto with our eyes closed and our bodies rocking with emotion. "

This had me in stitches. And you know I write fiction. I don't know if I'll ever write again...gonna burst out laughing picturing myself in one of those Las Vegas outfits.

Anyhow, great post. We need to stop taking ourselves so seriously.
A classic.

Hope the fish are biting. Posters here sure are.
I love the singing...um, is that you?
Thanks Spudman, I have had a cup of shut the fuck up since... nevermind. BTW, I like Pink too. My wife turned me on to her.
So I'm confused! Was this fiction???
I resemble parts of this post...
@Eric and others: where am I supposed to designate fiction? I am new here and do not know.
@Dr. Spudman 44: Liked your comment about the right wingers. You've heard about "preaching to the choir?"
Sorry. There's no choir for them here.
I'm with Bees, I love "bugfuck nuts." Very good points, all!
I have heard that you can do a lot of damage, fun damage that is, in a padded room. Oh! They serve you green jello, in those little cups.
I want one of those vacations.. grins..

Can I pretty please go fishing with you? Pretty please ~~pouting bottom lip stuck out~~ I have my own poles and tackle.
I promise not to bring a book to read, and I will not just sun tan .....teehee

Excellent post!! You are one Awesome dude Spuds.. SMILES!!
Thank you!!
I probably need to spend more time around here to get all of this, but the parts I do were hilarious.
So true about the fiction and everything else. R
Good idea, Spud. I think I'll take a trip up to the Chattooga River, see if I can catch a few rainbow trout. Adios!
I love you. but I'm nuts.
"You think that is rational?" Laugh :D I am going to be walking around saying that to myself for the rest of the night.
I love Pink as well.

And Gwen.

And Lady Gaga.


It'll get better. Hook 'em and cook 'em.
Excellent, excellent choice. My "leaving OS" was a trite and ridiculous act of immaturity. I took myself too seriously. I write fiction and I agree, ten or more comments on fiction is amazing. I also like the portfolio that it creates.
This was a wonderful post that points out the insanity of it all.
Funny. Sane. Full of good sense. I guess that covers it!
Oh Lordy, I feel like I'm naked in public.
Hey, I love you, man. Don't go fishing for long.
Don't let meee get meeeee

I love Pink - saw her in concert last year and she was fabulous. Some dick in the crowd threw a ball at her which hit her in the face, and she just kept singing.

I agree with everything you said here - especially about lowering the expectations for fiction/poetry. People just aren't as interested.
this is the first thing in days i've read around here that was worth clicking on.

crap.. now i've gotta go check my commentst to see who i'm gonna piss off. ;
well said, you make wonderful points. Glad I came by today and caught this. Makes me wonder what else I am missing! The right wing nuts, the people upset about attention, my old pals. oh well. thanks just the same.
This is a Chinese Fart that hit far too close to home:

"It is the fact that most of us are like karaoke singers. We are standing up singing our version of Elvis's In the Ghetto with our eyes closed and our bodies rocking with emotion. But we are mostly amateurs and although we hit a few good notes it ain't all that wonderful."

Wanders off singing

"And another little boring post is born
In the ghetto"
Ha ha (in my best Bart Simpson voice). Bingo, me boy-o! Yea makes me smile :)
You like Pink, huh? You are a man of many surprises.
Actually, I think if Steinbeck published a story here, it might get an EP.
spud: don't ya just HATE them little yappy dogs!?! rats that bark.

brilliant post. funny post. thank the gods for it and tink being back, tho sniffly. the planets may re-align yet. (r)
Dr. Spud, you are way right about everything and this ought to be the last word on the subject but of course it won't be.

When it comes to negative/nasty stuff, I recommend catch-and-release.
Bravo!!!! I'll have to put this in my catalog of "essays to draw OS Blink comics about!" Very very awesome commentary.
I'm just now starting to get into the "blogging" scene... but I was seriously hoping it would be different from the old time "message boards" that we used to have before blogging came on. I stopped reading message boards because of all the reasons you've listed--- I'm disappointed. :o(
Somebody just sharted; wonder who it was ...
You are an OS icon. I appreciate how you helped get my post read and your honest and kind comments. I will also ask my wife, born in Hong Kong, how you say fart in Cantonese. My mother-in-law seems to be quite an expert in that habit.

Peace and happiness,

Dr. L
I loves me some Pink!!!

Great post, glad you got it off your chest, tater-man......
How did Cindy Ross become such an expert on foreign farting??
The crazy people are what makes this place fun and keeps me addicted. Whatever happened to the original nut we had, Zyskandar was it? He was a hoot.
Better late than never, hope your fishing went well. Thanks for saying that what needed said...
How well I timed my resurrection:( I took it as a sign that the powers that be did not cancel this account even though I requested them to 5 months ago.
Well said!! I ignore all the petty fights here, just like I do in real life. OS has introduced me to some incredible writers and has motivated me and allowed me to improve my own writing. I still think it's a great place! People take life a little too seriously sometimes.
Spudman, OS isn't wearing you down, it's sharpening your pen. My vote for 'Photo Most Representative' is the tavern brawl up there. yeah. it's just like that. Just step over the bodies and get to the door. No biggie. Go fishin' - yeah, like that. Go fish.
Nicely done, Doctor. Nicely done.
You're great, Spuds. Hope the fish was good.
A good clear perspective...thanks for the post!
funny, true, rant. So satisfying to read.

Makes me think and re-think my own posts. well done, Dr.

I especially love the throwaway lines that show erudition and real thinking here. Hard to do for some (cough ME cough), to be smart and not also call attention to it.

I want to share a rocking chair and porch with this Voice.
A love of both Pink and mental illness. Who knew we had so much in common!

Awesome post. RATED!
As a fellow "crazy-person" I must also admit that I love Pink.

And what the fuck has been going here lately?

Hang in there, Doc, I'll be back soon. ;-)
I really dig Pink too and we are in the same age range. How 'bout that? (My kid finds it humiliating when I can sing along in front of her friends. What ev.) I write like you, personal experience with composite characters and some embellishments to the recipe. I heartily endorse your entire rant here! Good one! -r-
When I was studying psychopathology in social work school, I was very grateful for my bipolar diagnosis. I was less susceptible than my classmates to fears I suffered from a different
mental illness every week. The world is divided into the diagnosed and the undiagnosed. The person who talks about his friend's mental illness is often talking about himself.

Social work supervisors have told me I have a gift for being out the sanity in insane people and the insanity in supposedly sane people. I hope I don't do that on Open Salon.
Tell it like it is Dr.Spud. You always do, and that's why you'll always be one of my faves.
I loved this. I've avoided posting a comment though because I'm really trying to NOT go through the rest of my life feeling like I have to address every piece of minutiae...
I think you meant Geodon, not Geodyn?
Being in "the field," I would recommend a pound of haldol instead.
I really did love it. Birdog.
I hope you feel better. I know I do. Thanks for this. _r
You're one nut in a million, Dr. Spud. I'm happy to hang out in the nutsack with you. (Wait...that didn't come out right, did it? Hopefully you know what I mean.) XOXO
The crazy people are what makes this place fun and keeps me addicted. Whatever happened to the original nut we had, Zyskandar was it? He was a hoot.

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