Well, here we are folks, back for more of the freshest Top Chef commentary on the Interwebs.....

 Salon's own Heather Havrilesky apparently decided to take on the Top Chef this week, and while I love her reference to the Top Chef kitchen as the Glad Torture Chamber, I think she's missed the boat about the Voltaggios.  Looking over my own liveblog of the episode she writes about, I honestly don't think that the Bravo people are necessarily ignoring the other cheftestants in favor of the Voltaggios. I think they are naturally fascinating to us because they are brothers, with all the tension and drama and emotion that rival siblings inevitably produce.  (Trust me, I know. I have a brother and the scars to prove it...)  It's not that they get that much more screen time than the other contestants.  It's that we pay more attention when they are on.

 As for arrogance?  Well, when you are hot shit, you sometimes can't help but think that way.  I don't think Michael Voltaggio is being deluded by his arrogance.  I think he, like every other contestant in the game, is starting to feel the heat in the kitchen.  At this point, anyone could go home.  Talent is not enough.  If it were all about the talent, Robin would have been out three episodes ago.  It's also about luck.  What you see is not arrogance, but the stress produced from the instinctual knowledge that your ability to control your fate is limited.  Different people react to stress in different ways.  Some fold under the pressure.  Some puff and  bluster in an effort to convince themselves and everyone around them they are okay.  Voltaggio the younger happens to fall into the latter category.

The Iron Skillet this week has been all about enjoying the perfection of a recipe for  "Eggy Pasta."  It's my own creation, based upon a dish I heard tell of in a restaurant in LA where the chef created breakfast spaghetti involving eggs.  I have spent the last three months playing with whole wheat pasta, eggs, bacon, onion, and brussel sprouts in various configurations and I believe I may finally have found the right recipe to make a tasty, filling, eggy pasta dish.

Top Chef this week promises to be about Natialie Portman.  One wonders whether her vegan crusade will find is way into the Top Chef kitchen.  Many celeb chefs HATE vegetarians.  Oh, they'll never say so publicly (not unless you're Gordon Ramsay...he's pretty up front with his disdain).  But anything that limits their creativity so severely is bound to engender some resentment. 

If that is indeed the substance of the challenge tonight, we are in for a night of whining.  The cheftestants have proven time and again their capacity for overdramatizing thier plight in the most vocal way possible.  I hate whining.  If there is whining tonight I will be very grumpy.

So....let's get on with it.....

9:58 p.m. -- It's the tag end of Episode 9...and Laurine is going home.  Laurine is talking about how she doesn't want to compete for anything, ever again.  Good luck with that, Laurine.

9;59 p.m. -- The chefs look to be gearing up for disaster with Natalie Portman.  This oughta be fun....

10:00 p.m. -- Scenes from last week...the Voltaggios bicker, Laurine goes down. 

10:01 p.m. -- Jennifer is trying to bounce back from Restaurant Wars...and Robin is enjoying the fact that she's still here. 

10:02 p.m. -- Paul Bartolota, famous Italian chef is there to watch them try to do TV dinners for this week's sponsor -- TV Guide.  This is dumb.

10:03 p.m. -- Robin gets "Sesame Street." This oughta be fun.

10:04 p.m. -- Jennifer wants something with bones, because of the Flintstones....and Michael Voltaggio celebrates his "mom's mom" who rarely made TV dinners.

10:05 p.m. -- Eli is stuck with "Gilligan's Island" which is funny because it's way before his time.

10:06 p.m. -- Jennifer is foundering in the quickfire.  This does not bode well for her. The presentation on the cafeteria tray is kind of lost.

10:06 p.m. -- Mike Isabella has never seen "Seinfeld."  That's it.  I hate him.

10:07 p.m. -- Eli's meets with little reaction.  Robin's Sesame Street gets clever and she uses the inspiration well. 

10:08 p.m. -- What is with Padma's sudden need to wear belts?  Jennifer's dish goes over badly.  Robin's is not "special." Kevin's went well. Bryan as well. 

10:09 p.m. -- Kevin wins the quickfire.  This means he doesn't get immunity, but he does get to be in the frozen food section now.

10:10 p.m. -- The Craftsteak restaurant, owned by Tom Colicchio will be the next Vegas joint to be overrun by the cheftestants.

10:11 p.m. -- You know, the "Real Housewives" franchise has started to resemble herpes -- the gift that keeps on giving.  Just when you think you are rid of one outbreak and you're starting to get comfortable with life without plastic, guttersniping, spoiled brats masquerading as adults, you find that the whole thing returns with a vengence, with each episode worse than the last.

10:14 p.m. -- These guys are thinking it's all about steak, because it's Craftsteak.  Which guarantees that this will be the "vegan" challenge.

10:15 p.m. -- The walk in freezers are packed with gorgeous racks of meat, meat, and more meat.  What a tease.

10:16 p.m. -- Eli is in love.  So is Mike Isabella.  And she drops the bomb.  No. Meat.  Jennifer looks like she's going to die. 

10:17 p.m. -- Bryan Voltaggio is not happy. Now there is a fight over mushrooms as opposed to steak.  Eli and Jennifer duke it out over the eggplants.

10:18 p.m. -- Kevin is so cool  He goes vegetarian for Lent.  This guy is just so awesome.  I want him to cook for me.

10:19 p.m. -- Robin is plotzing over the variety of produce available. 

10:20 p.m. -- Mike Isabella is thinking he can cook anything.  Eli is trying not to be disdainful, and not succeeding. 

10:21 p.m. -- I got news Eli....you are immature.  Period.

10:21 p.m. -- Michael Voltaggio is doing something involving polenta and banana.

10:22 p.m. -- Isabella's pot isn't heating.  Jennifer cooks vegetarian only when she has to, and she hates her eggplant.

10:22 p.m. -- Why are they cooking with butter?  Isn't that an animal product?

10:23 p.m. -- Isabella is in the weeds. His leeks are all messed up.  meanwhile Robin is plating and she looks frantic.

10:25 p.m. -- The interesting thing about this challenge is that nobody is particularly in their element.  As much as most of the chefs are saying, "Sure, I can cook vegetarian," the fact remains is that none of them is cooking a dish that particularly inspires them.  And that's going to show up on the plate.

10:27 p.m. -- And here comes Robin's course.....There's a lot on the plate, and none of it seems coherent.

10:28 p.m. -- RObin's dish is pretty but has a balance issue.  Too much salt.  Eli is plating his dish....and here it comes.  Confit of eggplant.

10: 28 p.m. -- The dish is going over fairly well.  And Michael is having a hazelnut crisis.

10:29  p.m. -- Mike is trying to pull of a head-scratcher.

10:30 p.m. -- On the one hand, it's innovative, and it's also banana in polenta.  Which is sacrilege to the judges.

10:31 p.m. -- Jennifer is trying to sauce the plates at the table and her hands are shaking.  What the hell was she thinking with that?

10:32 p.m. -- Jennifer's dish is proclaimed a brilliant side dish.  Mike Isabella is trying to make it work with the bad leeks, but he's walking a fine line there.

10:33 p.m. -- There's a good idea in there, but it's not executed well.  Bryan is also struggling with plating.  All the chefs have been struggling with plating.  Bryan misses putting some things on.

10:34 p.m. -- And the double entendres start to fly.

10:35 p.m. -- Kevin is worried that his dish isn't pretty.  Dude, with some of the fuckups your competitors have been perpetrating, not being pretty is not your problem.

10:36 p.m. -- Kevin cooks a manly vegetarian meal.

10:36 p.m. -- All the chefs are nervous.  But I think Mike Isabella is in more trouble than he realizes.

10:37 p.m. -- Top Chef Reunion Dinner?  Now the "Reunion Episodes" have officially gone too far.  Leave your grubby reunioning paws off my Top Chefs, motherfuckers!

10:38 p.m. --  I think at this point Mike Isabella, Robin and maybe Jennifer need to be really, really worried.  I think Isabella's going home.  Robin's dish was seasoned improperly, but Isabella's was completely poorly executed and at this stage of the game, the failures should be of a higher level than that.  Jennifer's dish was well done but misconceived, which is what will save her in the end.

10:41 p.m. -- Kevin talks about "power eating" with his fellow contestants.....and we learn he is fat by choice.

10:44 p.m. -- Kevin, Mikey Voltaggio and Eli head for the judge's table as the favors.  Eli actually makes the top....even he can't beleive it.  But he won't win.  I think that goes to Kevin.

10:45 p.m. -- Natalie Portman is in love with Mikey V. 

10:45 pm. -- They are all going crazy over Kevin's dish.  And of course, he wins.

10:46 p.m. -- And Kevin wins a metric fuckton of GE appliances.

10:47 p.m. -- Mike Voltaggio says "I coulda done that...."

10:47 p.m. -- And the bottom three is as expected: Jennifer, Isabella, Robin.

10:48 p.m. -- Mike Isabella doesn't understand that looking like a protein doesn't make leeks into a protein.  He's making excuses.  He is SO going home.

10:49 p.m. -- Robin is going on and on but she's not making any sense.  This is a dish that had no focal point, nothing to hold it together.  Wow, She is SO going home.

10:50 p.m. -- Jennifer is losing her mind.  And I don't understand.  She was the Queen Bitch of the Kitchen in the beginning.  What the hell happened?

10:51 p.m. -- Isabella's "whatever, whatever" is so damn annoying.  He should go home just for that.

10:52 p.m. -- Excuses from Isabella... whining.....

10:53 p.m. -- Robin's dish is completely disorganized and incoherent.  I really can't tell who's going home.  I think Jennifer is going to stay, beyond that it's anyone's guess.

10:54 p.m. -- On the one hand, Robin really has stayed longer than her innate ability suggests.  Her preternatural staying power is wearing on the other contestants, and her luck has to be running out.  On the other hand, Isabella's performance on every level, both on the plate and in person was so disgusting you want to teach him a lesson.

10:56 p.m. -- The viewers agree: Robin should go.  I agree....she's out of her depth. But seriously, tonight, I'm thinking Isabella's the one to go. 

10:57 p.m. -- If Robin stays, it would be funny.

10:58 p.m. -- And Mike Isabella goes home.....This is interesting.  It's going to get very, very ugly in the Top Chef house now.

10:59 p.m. -- They have to cook for Padma for breakfast.

Well, thanks for coming everyone....I'm looking forward to next week!