Only the Essentials, Luxuries Will Not Be Tolerated
Only the essentials will be taxed fairly. We have moved to unfairly weight the taxing of cigarettes, wine, liquor, soda and beer. These are not essential, they are luxuries.
Books are not essential, only those books listed in the forthcoming: These Books are Essential by Your Government will be from luxury taxes.
One car is all you need and we will tell you what car: The People's Wagon. If you wish to purchase something more luxurious you will pay the luxury tax. Further, if you wish to have more than one car per person, you will pay a 50% glutton tax.
Cigarette smoking is an addiction, we recognize this to the extent we recognize we have you addicted and can tax at will. We cannot afford to have you quit, due to the amount of taxes you pay. If you do quit, you will pay more on the other luxury items, so you may as well keep smoking.
You need work clothes and a pre-determined amount of leisure wear. Anything over the pre-determined amount of clothing will be considered luxury. You must inventory your clothing so your tax can be determined.
Shoes: No more than 7 pairs at one time. Then luxury tax.
Fat people: No more fat people. Your height and build determine acceptable limits to weight. All pounds over weight will be taxed.
Restaurants are a luxury. Shopping will be done in State approved outlets.
Food will be rationed as we see fit. No more Twinkies or snack food of any kind. McDonald's will be closed immediately. All stores not conforming to new codes will be closed as well. No over-serving fat people we must break their addiction for the betterment of the people.
Fat people must report to gulag fat spa for inspection of fat and health care options, of which there is only one option: Get unfat.
Update to smoking policy: The State has decreed everyone must smoke and drink alcohol. The cost of which will be deducted from your checks.
Everyone will have a job, you will be told where to report.
No spontaneous breaking into songs not approved by the National Song Approval Board. Experessions of joy are frowned upon.
Hobbies have been determined to be of little benefit to the state. We provide hobbies as we see fit. Anyone not liking their hobby can feel free to call 1-800-IWANTTOGOTOGULAG.
Relaxation chambers filled with calming gasses will be available to those especially troubled by these changes.
"My Life" the wondrous book by Adolph Hitler will be provided. This is required reading and you will be quizzed by your friendly neighborhood storm trooper. These are people that look for storms and will alert you if they feel a storm is brewing. They are also troopers.
Feel free to inform them of any unessential goods or prohibited hobbies your neighbors may be involved in.
We will be installing millions of cameras for your safety. We will immediately be able to determine if you need our help.
More to follow.
Think Essential, be Essential!
Update to approved saying: We think so you don't have to. Comrade...
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Comments
All other free thought will not be tolerated.
It kind of plays off the lines of your post nanatehay.
Non-essentials were not taxed just made entirely unavailable;
Essentials were theoretically sold for low prices but practically were hard to get;
Consumers of luxury items were sometimes shot;
Certain books were in the essentials, the rest was not available at any price;
Also: you could get arrested for reading a non-essential book;
Even one car was deemed a luxury;.
Smoking was endorsed and cigarettes were generously taxed;
Work clothes were available and mostly anything else was scarce and expensive;
Very few people had more than 2 pairs of shoes at one time;
There were few fat people because of the scarcity of food;
Shopping was done only in state operated outlets;
All other stores were closed, proprietors deported;
Food, when it was available, was often rationed (food stamps);
The State made it possible for nearly everybody to smoke and drink alcohol;
Everyone had to have a job, those who happened to be shopping Tuesday at 2:00 pm could be questioned by the authorities;
College graduates were assigned to workplaces, the process was called: distribution;
Depending on the occasion expressions of joy were either mandatory or prohibited;
Not just fat people, but everybody else had a good chance to end up in the gulag;
Informing the concerned authorities about the dealings of neighbors, family members etc. was a patriotic act;
Book by Adolph were not available, but other books were generously provided;
Readers were then quizzed by friendly co-workers;
And yes, one approved religion was provided, and believe in it was strongly advisable;
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Only a few items need to be added:
1 - Shopping was a lottery: you never knew what essentials you could buy. Sometimes it was a toy bicycle, sometimes 2 pounds of oranges, sometimes XL-size warm undergarment; Clever shoppers always had with them 7 handbags and 2 month's worth of salaries in cash;
2 - There was no need to call 1-800-GULAG or any other special number. The phone equipment automatically transmitted all your private conversations there, without you dialing or even knowing about this;
Well Done and Rated
Hey Jay, I'm trying to lose weight but I have about another 30 to go. Can I get a tax waiver for maybe 6 months?
Mr. Mustard: All's Well That's Orwell.
My point? I think it's there.
Nanatehay: You and the other Earthlings are absolutely safe from my overlording: did I mention I was 3'4"?