So, I learned some new debating techniques last night.

A seemingly jovial fellow, went all Glenn Beck Berserko on me last night.

It started innocently enough, with my normal sarcastically cynical greeting.

I should've sensed things were about to go astray when he disparaged my lot in life. Telling me how lucky I was not to have goals to meet and the pressures of a real job.

He pondered selling his houses and moving to Hawaii, which he loved, except for all the Hawaiians there (in Hawaii).

Things went South from there, as he added the poor people were dragging this great  country down.  Especially the undesirables sneaking into our country.

I told him I was going to get him a box for his pizza.

He added rather loudly "It's just like you cocksuckers to run away from a debate."

I immediately spun around and decided to inquire what "cocksuckers" he was referring to?

"The Democrats of course. You give them facts and the cocksuckers fold."

"I see, so since I disagree with your opinion I'm a cocksucking Democrat? And was the "fact" you put forth that I'm a cocksucker? First, some of my favorite people are cocksuckers."

"I bet you don't love George Bush and you give that (not gonna say) Obama a pass?"

OK, so he's a racist prick. I don't mention this because I'm working.

But we're not done with his "facts": He's Italian, an admirable heritage he was not living up to.

"I'm an international businessman and you're a bartender. I travel the world. We Italians came to America and worked our asses off and asked for nothing. We fought in wars and carved out lives. We don't ask for entitlements. These fucking cocksuckers want everything for free."

"It was the ultra rich that created the financial crisis. When the bubble burst so did the shitty investments like worthless mortgage backed securities they sold to the states, unions, retirement funds, etc."

Pause for "factual impact" and stunning disconnect:

"The German and Japs underestimated us."

"Underestimated who? Italy was allied with Germany and Japan?"

"Don't fuck with me cocksucker."

"No really, you're all over the map here. You're picking and choosing your heritage and re-writing history. If you mean American's of Italian descent fought in World War II, you'd be correct. But when you state Germany and Japan underestimated America and her allies, why leave out Italy?

You're debating technique of raising your voice and name calling is right from the FOX NEWS playbook."

"I fucking love FOX NEWS, it's fair and balanced (yes he said that). Those cocksuckers at CNN are sucking Obama's cock (which would only make sense, since they're cocksuckers). FOX has the biggest audience."

"So, more viewers make them righter? So, let's just take Christianity v. Islam. Billions of believers and billions of them MUST be wrong, due to conflicting interests. Further, it's possible all of them are wrong. So, viewership of FOX is irrelevant and rendered moot."

"That's not true, we all want the same thing."

"Um, no. But I think I'll just box up your pizza and let you go."

He then reverted to jovial person he was when he walked in. Thanked me for the spirited discussion and said he had no problem with people from Wisconsin, it's just the liberal cocksuckers in California he despises.

"Wisconsin's politics might just save America."

"We better stop here and say good night."

"I like you, even though you're a cocksucker."

I don't know what he has against cocksuckers. But, he seems really upset with them.

*****

Epilog:

Quite a learning experience for me here.

Here's a very financially successful person, who has lost himself in self-interest to the extent he claims to love America, but clearly despises the vast majority of Americans.

This is a variance of the Bushian defense that if you don't agree with GW Bush, you're un-American.

Facts will not stand in the way of a blind defense of one's own self-interest.

There is no way to engage in civil discourse and/or debate with a person so blinded by their own self-interests, they have forgotten it is in their own self-interest for society as a whole to be healthy... not just him.