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APRIL 1, 2011 10:44PM

I ADMIT TO AFFAIRS WITH 20 OS WOMEN - April Fools

Rate: 28 Flag

Problem is...none of them will own up to it on their end!!!

They are liars....every damned one of them; and I am the purveyer of all that is true and reasonable...

Oh..and I look like Johnny Depp WITH the eye shadow!!!

1  Rita Shibr

2 Lunchlady 2

3 RomanticPoetess

4 xenonlit

5 Robin Sneed

6 fireeyes24

6.5  Snippy The Grammar Dog

7.o  Snippy and the other leg

10 +++  Trilogy

9  Lorianne

10 again ..  divorcedpauline

11 Oryoki Bowl

12  Natalie K Munden

13  graceinaz

14  junk1

15  patricia k   whoo hoo!!!!

16  satori1 

17  Impaired Doc

18  Sheba Marx

19  hugs me

20     ???

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If the gals don't fess up..then what kind of women are they really?
Perhaps ones with character???
JD, please tell me the video is safe.
I'm one I'm one....what....I thought you said with a nice pair. Bloody hell never mind!
Rita : It is sealed in a mayonasse jar on the front porch. We should be just fine.
I am guilty
I did it
after a cup
of hot
mango
tea!
And it was fabulous
thank you
kiss, kiss
rated with love
and still loving the sweet
memories
LL@ : Sshhh....yes you're one...but hey....keep it quiet in case Rita comes back!
Congratulations on your heightened sense of self esteem
RP : That was mango tea? I thought KY came up with something new!!!
Frazier : Sadly..it is about ALL that is heightened as of late!
JD, it was the time of my life, that evening on the shores of Tripoli....but then Gadaffi decided that we were wrong for each other and there was nothing that we could do! You were off to the Casbah and I wept as I was reassigned to Paris, where I discovered Jacques.
THAT was hilarious and boy do I hear ya!
STEP UP LADIES!! ROOM FOR SIX MORE!!
xenonlit : You left me there, and all I could do was weep at the loss...and drive back to the shores of Tripoli to look for Sandra..
ll2 : I hear ya too!!!
Okay, okay, I humped your leg once, and you shooed me away. I think you were schmoozing with Rita at the time.
xenonlit : Uhm...Pierre??? You mean that smarmy man in the straightjacket in the back of the padded truck?
Snippy : Wrong species....but hey..thanks for the call out!
got me beat by a couple... Rita, did I excuse you from the harem tent?
Snippy : That wasn't my leg...and yeah..Rita and I were discussing poetry....welll.....sorta...
tr ig : Rita is in YOUR HAREM? Hummm..Rita has some explaining to do....two harem-ing me???
I fess! You made me straight, JD! xox
Robin : Maybe I did..but after you, I still can't stand up straight!!! You are AMAZING!!!
After Robin read my poem
in her video debut
she developed a taste
for the Mango Tea too
Wait, I missed Robin... got me beat by one
RP : The two of you and mango are inbedded in my mind FOREVER!!! Who knew???
Back in the days of OS lore.... I was once rumored to be in the Trig harem.. JD I never promised you a Rose Garden.. you knew going in what it was all about (no pun intended)
JD- You promised you wouldn't tell.. Here I wore my red high heels for you and that ... and let you... well I am not going to tell anything .... HUM!
fireeyes : Hey..I'm sorry...but it had to come out! By the way, I still have one of those heels in the trunk... :)
Rita : I had NO IDEA!! Now I have to go pick up my battered ego and leave...
Sometime tomorrow maybe!
And doing it in a rose garden hurts...thorns and such you know!
I am impressed! I've only had affairs with two OS women, both of whom turned out to be dudes.
nana : It is better not to ask too many questions in cases like that.
and fireeyes... dude, we're tied
Tr ig : Had to change my title. Couldn't have you even with me on my own blog!
I have to shut this down for the night and get some much needed sleep but I hope all your women come out and fess up because darlin' you were marvelous :) You have given me some of the best nights of my life ;)
LL2 : They'll come out I am sure,... but you dear....well...I had to buy a cardiac arrest emergency unit for our next time together!
I'm feeling slighted--can't I count as .5? That was a damn good leg-humping I gave you.
OH! MAN!!! JD!!! I have been looking for that other heel forever... I finally gave up and throw the other one away, and had to buy me a new pair.
HUM!! You could have called..
Snippy: A .5 it is...until you get my other leg!!!
Then you get a full 1.0 darlin' pooch!
fireeyes : Sorry....I knew it was either yours or Ritas or LL2 or RPs...or....uhm....anyway.....I have it.....ok?
I'll help you get it out of my trunk if you like...no hands...
JD you are busted. There is no way someone who sleeps with ten woman doesn't know who's shoes are who's.
I just hope Bluestocking...aka...our new Hedda Hopper doesn't see this...we're gonna be all over the gossip rag! xox
JD, were you the guy who totted up the numbers for the Million Man March?
Rita : I'm not looking at your shoes....ok???
Rita, I thought I was your only OS lover...: ( xox
did you sleep with bonnie?
Robin : It's out...let it go....we are an item and we have to face that.
Damn, JD, I'm still in single digits. Zero's considered single digits, right?
Abrawang : How'd you find out I am a numbers guy???
JD, I will have to duel you now! And Cranky...I know I'm your only OS lover...xox
Robin : Stay focused dear. It is about me...remember?
Bonnie has nice.... hands... but speaking for myself J.D., she won't give me the time of day.
Leepin: ' I don't tell unless the gals fess up. After all..I am pretending to be a gentleman!
JD, that oh-so-telling decimal place following the 6 revealed all.
JD...oh yeah, I forgot...xox
did you get a gps anklet as a parting gift?
Well, JD, I'm really not the jealous type and I know you thought I was out of town....but I"M BACK....And now I know what you;'ve been up to - you cad!
Abrawang : That .5 holds no candle to you. Are you ready to fess and join the list..or do you hold out?
Hi Trilogy. Well, since Rita is two timing me with JD...and you see what a cad he is...wanna go out? xox
Robin : Good recovery! Gosh darn it...I rock...remember???
Larry : Great things can happen in handcuffs buddy!
You are SO BUSTED !!! Just like Rita said.. She is so right!!
We all don't have the same size feet you know.... Well I do know that there are 2 of us who do have the same size shoes who are on your list.. lol
Man! I just don't like cheaters.. where is my bat....lol
Trilogy darling !!!!
God's honest truth...I thought AL of them were you..it was dark..and my glasses were laying on the dashboard...covered with steam!!!
forget the bat, get the chainsaw
Robin : Pick up dates ON YOUR OWN BLOG PLEASE!!!
Sheesh!!!
Robin I thought I was your only true love... boohoooo
after I ran away with you in 09 and all that .... ~~real tears~~~
JD, you do rock, but Trilogy is prettier! xox
fireeyes : Don't think of it as cheating...think of it as maintaining a diverse portfolio!
Yeah....that's it.
And obviously...you were easily the best....unless someone else berates me...then they are.
Larry : Chainsaw?? A bit harsh....???
A rusty lid off a tin can would work fine.
i only slept with you because i thought you were leepin larry having a good hair day.
FE, JD lured me away with pretty words and shoes! It wasn't meant to be! xox
Larry- I am on my way now with both of them.. And the guns... rope, duck tape,, any of you other women want to help me "Rope him?"
fireeyes : Dammit girl...you and Robin are having focus issues! You want ME!!! Please try to remember that here... ok??
JD, that's for me to know and you to find out.
Robin : Hands off Trill...at least till I take mine off.
Ok lorianne...that hurt!
I will have you know that Larry has much better hair than I !!!
Robin did you hear JD?? We have focus issues??? Now who would have guessed that????
Those were my shoes he lured you with....
JD It is always about you....
Robin : Uhm...speaking of shoes...can I get fireeyes other red shoe back from you? She is kinda mad at me...something about a bat???
fireeyes : Is getting "roped" fun?
abrawang : I HATE mysteries...cause I'd have to think.
Ok, OK, it's all out now. Robin, JD and Trig. Now you know why I write such sad poetry. It's drama 24/7.
WHAAAT??? I didn't make the list???!!
fireeyes : Hey...it IS ALL about me!!! Face it..I'm not the kinda guy you can get out of your mind! Admit it...you're my SLAVE!!!
(feel free to leave that bat and chainsaw at home on our next fling...ok?)
rita : At least you are more than enough woman for both of us....but next time...come alone!
divpauline: OF COURSE YOU ARE ON THIS LIST!! Put your glasses back on. : )
Oh well... glad oyu had fun JD hahahah
rated with hugs
Linda : Being very quiet here...hummm... : )
JD, I threw that shoe away just like you threw my heart away! Rita, rilly? I am the inspiration for your sad poetry? Ohhh. My darling! Sorry, Trilogy and whoever else I asked out in the last ten minutes...xox
Robin, if ANYBODY make Rita sad...makes her want to barf;... IT IS ME!!!
Back off or no fun next time!!!
JD, I just have to let you know for added drama that I am doing an open call to ask for all of the shoes of all of the women you have tread upon. We will make a giant sculpture from the pain of our lost soles! xox
I note that Linda is a little, shall we say, promiscuous with those hugs. And I don't yet see her name on the list. A word to the wise JD (and no, I'm not cracking, er, wise), don't leave her to be the anti-climactic number 15.
jd, all at once, right? i mean, otherwise, trig's record stands.
JD, no! I make her sadder than you! It's me who fills her heart with pain and anguish! xox
Robin : I swear!!! All those damned shoes are in my trunk. All of you come over, and we can climb in the trunk together and get them out!
are these names in any specific order?
Abrawang : Only those who confess here make the list. She knows if she should be on it or not..and just needs to fess up.
femme : All at once??? Really?
@ Tr ig..I had NO IDEA MAN!!!!
I am stunned silent!
My limit is 10 at a time!
Robin : Give it up! She hurls every time she reads my poetry! You write too well, and thus...
I CAUSE HER MORE PAIN !!!
Leepin ' Do I sound like I have a death wish to you???
So she knows what she knows and you know what you know and...never the twain...?
Abrawang : She may have been the best...but you'll never read that here "unless she confess." Oh wait.....
She might not take kindly to just being dropped onto a list here. :)
My goodness you have a rich full fantasy life, but I think you oughter ease up on the eye-shadow
Femme...all at once? Are you speaking from experience or have you been watching naughty pictures again? xox
Okay, JD...in the coming week, we will both post something and do a throw up test on Rita! xox
Leepin ' You might be right...but the magic wears off at midnight....
Tom : Without the eye shadow,...I'm just another middle aged overweight man. WITH IT, I AM JOHNNY DEPP!!!
Hell if I know why...but it works!
Robin : Femme scared the heck outta me!!!
I can't put socks over 10 toes at once when I get dressed in the morning!
Good Lord .....that is FRIGHTENING!!!
Robi n : You're on! I took second place in Hurl Magazine two years running!!!
JD...well...have you read the hachacha Femme writes? Apparently it's more fact than fiction! And yes, dear, you are...umm...rather...clumsy...but that's what your harem loves about you! xox
Femme and JD - you have to mark me off the "Trig's Record of All at once. " I wasn't in on the "All At Once Thing." So that makes him down to 9 for the all at once..

Okay JD I will leave the bat and chainsaw at home for the ext fling..We do need to get into the trunk and get the shoes out.. ~~evil grins~~
JD...oh rilly...well there's a new barf maker in town...xox
Robin : That isn't clumsy! I only have TWO HANDS for god's sake! That "clumsy" is calculated to win sympathy and get more goodies.
Or I may just be clumsy...but NEVER call me on it....it's in poor taste!!!
fireeyes : Sounds like a deal...but remember...only YOUR SHOES...not the hundreds of others you see there.
JD, in my experience, and the less said about that the better, Linda takes kindly to a great many things but what you are alluding to would surely strain the bounds of anyone's decency. So to speak.
Robin : Bring it! I have made more women sick than you can even begin to imagine!!!
I have already talked to FE and we are going to do performance art of taking a chainsaw to all of the shoes while we cry. JD...so more lies! You aren't that clumsy...you were just pretending to be something like...Inspector Clouseau to get more goodies! Ahaaaa! xox
Abrawang: I think Linda is one of the best people I have the priviledge to call friends! She is simply wonderful..and no teasing here at all.
Gary : Sorry my man...can't put you on the list....oh wait...you meant the large number of girls????
OHHHH! So Gary is one of your lovers, too?!!! Well, a certain Mr. certainly gets around! I'm sorry, Gary...would you like to join our Collective Women of Pain and Shoes Performance Art For Wayward Girls Exhibit? xox
Robin : Clumsy??? Me?? I can snatch a raisen off of a speeding car with my teeth while whittling a baseball bat for fireeyes to pound me with!!!
I just had to have the goodies.....sorry!
Robin : You're reaching with the Gary thing. That's a post for another day.
JD, I can only hope you will attend the performance of pain and barfing you have inspired in the women of OS. xox
Robin : Attend? Heck...I have to be there to be the inspirational focus!
JD, you are taking "Numbers Guy" to a whole new level.
To all the gals I've loved before....it is nearly midnight...and JD has to go back to being JD.
Had fun with being a bit different for tonight.
Love to you all...and know that you all make a world of difference for the better in my life.
Tril : It is post the 1st..gotta be good now. Thanks for the visit my friend.
WHAT???! I'm in last place??!!
You only listed 10, does that mean I am safe?
Yes, JD, so we can glue all the shreds of shoes to your naked body! xox
divorsedpauline : Hey...it means you are a PERFECT 10!!!!

Oryoki bowl....safe? Uhm...sure........... : )
pauline...JD said you need to try harder
Not anymore Oryoki. You should have remembered that Japanese saying about the nail.
Robin : Glue is so tacky.
Larry: I told you that pauline TRYS harder.. Believe me...she does JUST FINE THANK YOU!!! (you really are trying to get me killed here...aren't you?)
Not with the word super in front of it! xox
abrawang : hum...you have not fessed up...you must be innocent?
Oryoki...you might as well just fess up...everyone knows your fauxrotica isn't so faux! xox
Who are you calling (or NOT calling) a Perfect 10. I think you better quit while you're behind, my friend.
Robin : Cold! Very very cold!!!
JD...you mean, this was all an April Fool's joke? Oh. Darn! xox
Robin : Each confession must be freely given...not pulled out of the gals. It is the way of J D!
Tril : OH wait...that was you I am sure! Yes...it was you....let me check...uhm...yes...
There are so many smart-alecks MISSING this great party!
Robin : You must admit it is a bit out of character for me here on OS....but hey...who knows for sure...right?
Natalie : I have been waiting for them...and of course....you!!! : )
JD...you are an enigma...that is the way you have lured us all in...shoes, poetry, barf, you have it all...xox
J D - I would be like to thank you for your discretion by the way...
Robin : Lured??? Me? Think of it as simply giving a little of this..and a litte of that.
Just finished
my mango tea
and beginning to feel
like J.D. has way tooooooooo many women
for me to get the
attention I need
I like a man with
a little time on his hands
or my time in his hands
Cranky darling, would you like a little sip
of my fine mango tea
-R- for, well, you know J D
Natalie : Discreet?? Uhm...yes...of course...discreet! : )
JD - fess up? I admit to nothing, deny the allegations and defy the allegators.
RP : Share that mango with no one but me...
Yes, you have lured us, the willing lurees! xox
graceinaz : oh boy!! DO I !!! WHEW!!!
abrawang : So be it...I'll cross you off the will...
Robin we could use tar and the cut up shoes to cover him with.
We could always go over to Gray's place since JD is such a manytimer...
Gray likes art... ?? how about it ladies?
Robin :: If one is willing...is she really "lured?"
And what does a truck full of shoes do for all those women out there that are avoiding me? Can I get to 15?
FE, great idea! Let's go to Gary's! He'll help us realize our performance art dream of torn up shoes and broken hearts! xox
Wow, a real confession. I think it would be more believable with an avatar a la Greg Corell, lying in bed, looking into the camera.
fireeyes : Gary's place??? What is wrong with that picture? He is probably a great guy...but I have shoes in my trunk!!!
Robin and fireeyes.....admit it...you are trying to me me jealous....and tha tjealousin thing is not for me.....
PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!!!!
I LOVE TAR AND TATTERED SHOES!!!
Tilapia : That would be called "bait and switch,..." BIG TIME!
Don't worry
Cranky is not stepping up
to the cup
RP : That does not mean I won't be jealousin'!!!
This mango for mango! (Oh God!! THAT IS HORRIBLE!!!)
What do Tilapia eat?
Larry : Not sure...but it tastes like chicken.
JD, yes we are trying to make you jealous. Okay, we'll let you wear pantyhose and high heels while you serve us drinks. xox
Robin : I'd look better in tights...flatters my ankles...
Nite all!
Sleep well.
Night, JD! Thanks for the fun! xox
JD, so, does these mean you've outed me, or am I now in the "in" crowd? You are still the pencil in my pencil box.
Robin we don't want him in pantie hose.. we want him in stockings and sexy panties....lol
While he serves us drinks and feeds us grapes.
Night JD ... SWEET DREAMS about all of us..
Thank you for the laughs and the fun..
YOU ARE THE MAN!!!
This post and comment session is a party scene!

(JD, I hope you used the party hat.)
Anyone who keeps you off the streets merits a medal. And a free visit to the mental health clinic.
I think there are statutes, both ecclesiastical and secular, to deal the Snippy thing. Sorry, Snip. Not your fault, presumably.
J D, You want the women to own up, but you don't own up to me? What am I chopped labia?
I didn't even make the list......boy, I've really fallen in grace...:(
mhold : I skipped the hat. It messes with my naturally curly hair.

Leon : Both valid points.

Matt : Snippy was innocent...I admit it.

junk1 : Ok ok....you are right...I admit it!

patricia k : I was simply not sure if you were willing to be called out. It is about time we came clean though.
Well, Mr. JD,
I am not on the list.
I realize that I should not be disappointed. I have quite a bit of competition. And I have not known you very much at all.
But, I did scroll down the list. Hoping to see my name on the list.

You do realize, that if you put me on now, I will know that you really did not mean it.

Don't you hate when people do that. Catch 99.

Take care.
Impaired Doc: Read through the comments, and you realize that you are only on the list if you confess...or I confess for you at your behest....
After all, you may not wish to be called out on line!
And remember...confession is good for the soul! : )
You are up to 20 now? And you STILL have not acknowledged our time together?? I am so humiliated.
*heads to nunnery*
How is this gonna go over in church tomorrow JD? ( I feel so used)
Well JD,
You have figured out a way from the situation.
I truly confess. Really, Really.
Anjali
Only 20? That doesn't even qualify for the lower tier of the OS Playas Club. Btw, please check yer math. Your headline mentions 20, but you list 15. R
I think it's funny how your number keeps going up in your title....
J.D?
You sure do know how to attract: readers, comments, browsers, passersby... good work.

(Obviously, you have yet to discover my splendid table and laptop posts. :)
Great for the cardiovascular system, all that working out .. .
JD- are you really Tho*h?
satori : Oh come one! A NUNNERY!!!! Believe me...one does not follow the other. And are you sure you are not on this list?

Impaired Doc : There was certainly nothing "impaired" about you last time!

Trudge : A little patience please! : )

patricia : I admit it...math and I do not mix all that well when it comes to the heart!
Vivian : Hummm...in the context of this post....tables and laptops takes on some whole new meanings!

AtHome : I am pretty sure all these gals were on the orders of my PRimary Care Physician. Yeah....all about health.

Oryoki : Please....JD has enough allure for all of the women in OS.....assuming they are attracted to old and fat and mentally challenged!!!
I think you left some off the list, there are a few conspicuously absent, nes pa?
sheila : Fer sure! And here you are sitting on the fence! Hummm...
Why am I not on the list? I admit it. R
Sheba Marx : I was about to call you out with a PM! Not owning up is not cool...but you are covered now!
Oh and you told me never, no way...fine JD...I can take a hint. I just might have to flounce....how could you...r
As an OS virgin, I must clear my mind so I can one day make your list! "The mind. it's a w0nderful dirty thing".
Hehe..way to sneak me in the back door, there, JD.
satori : Back door; back seat; it's all good! : )
JD, I hope you are dressed as FE told you to! I see there are twenty now. Okay, but I don't think it's fair to list Snippy. She's a dog and will hump anyone. xox
Think again..wine, dinner dancing..THEN back seat. I have standards. And yeah, what Robin said.
Robin : Not 20 yet...the last gal is holding out...afraid to share our illicit love with the world! As for Snippy...hey....the legs gotta be happy too.....you know?
satori : I forget ...white or red wine?
Hey, I like Satori's style! Wanna go on a date, Satori? Forget 20 timing JD, I have real love in my backseat! JD...as for Snippy...whatevah! xoxxox
JD, you forgot I'm allergic to red?
Sure Robin, pick you up at 7??
PS, there are 2 dogs in MY back seat!
Robin and Satori : How do I keep getting planned OUT of the fun???
Satori, I'll bring these two doggies, and they can have a play date! JD...you have done this to yourself...now...puleeez...refill my PJ's (pomegranate juice and soda water) extra ice, twist of lime! xox
Mmmm, thanks JD. This is yummy dish!
LOL, I don't know JD..what can I say, you snooze, you lose. And did you have a dog to add to the mix? Besides Snippy, that is?