UBI – (United Bloggers International)
Low altitude spy drones flying off the coast of Open Salon report that as of 17:30 today, a Tropical Dustup was forming 110 miles south by southeast of the southernmost Blogland.
This is the first named storm of the Dustup season, and has been named by the Community Blowout Service as “Cranky Cuss.”
Right now, it is only a group of tropical dustups, with posts per hour of OS demise still under the 40 level.
A CATEGORY ONE dustup is forecasted within the next hour as the blogging community continues to draw hot moist air from the piles of composting posts sitting dead on the site. (A category 1 event is defined as 40-50 posts per hour.)
The Accu-Trac Crap Forecaster places the expected storm track along the southern flank of Open Salon, reaching CATEGORY ONE at 19:00 estimated.
LANDFALL IS ANTICIPATED at 0230 Sunday June 24th at the mouth of the Fernsy-Fusun River, WITH PROBABLE intensity reaching CATEGORY 4 AT LANDFALL!!! (OVER 100 posts of doom per hour)
BLOGGER EVACUATIONS ARE NOW IN PROGRESS AS GENERAL CHOAS AND PANIC GRIP THE MAINLAND!!
TIDES OF BS ARE EXPECTED TO REACH NEARLY 30 FEET HIGH AT THE PEAK OF THE STORM, AND INLAND FLOODING OF THE BLOGSITE IS EXPECTED TO FORCE HEAVY DAMAGE TO THE PARTICIPANTS PEACE OF MIND AND EGOS.
TRILOGY SERVICES IS OFFERING THE LOCAL ADMINISTRATOR OF THE SITE, ARRBHRABH ARRBHRABH, IMMEDIATE SHIPMENTS OF NOUNS AND VERBS, (PRIOR TO LANDFALL), IN ORDER TO MINIMIZE POTENTIAL DAMAGE TO THE SITE.
IN RELATED STORIES:
TINK AND LITTLE KATE WERE SEEN HIDING BEHIND A LOCAL QUIK TRIP AND SLURPING ICEES AS THEY WAIT TO RIDE OUT THE STORM!
M.C.S. AND ATHOME PILGRIM CONTINUE TO MAN BLOG RADAR SITES TO THE SOUTH TO CLOSELY FOLLOW ANY NEW INFUSIONS OF HOT MOIST AIR.
ARRBHRABH ARRBHRABH HAS AUTHORIZED THE DISPATCH OF THE OPEN SALON INTERBLOGAL TASK FORCE TO ATTEMPT TO MAINTAIN ORDER AS PANDAMONIUM ERUPTS ALONG THE ANTICIPATED LANDFALL SITE.
FIRST CONTACT WITH THE TASK FORCE RESULTED IN INLAND DUSTUPS SWIRLING BETWEEN FELLOW BLOGGERS, AND THE UNTIMELY DEATHS OF RITA SHIBR, POOR WOMAN, AND UNBREAKABLE
UBI will continue to follow this storm and update any changes as the information becomes available.
To follow the coverage, continue to monitor the Open Salon blog-site (unless it goes dark, and then run like hell !!!)