rain fell like copious snot
1) Keith Oberman has left the building.
2) I am still fixiated on Lennon's (Harrison's?!) S W E E P
3) there is a vast centerist's conspiracy
4) If people would consult their Dr., if they can afford one, and fast
one day a week, the world would be a better place.
5) I am in charge of my own action packed fiction
6) I am less bored and never spit in public
7) I have gotten a nude photograph from J.K. Rowlins
8) I have unlocked certain doors
9) I am too radical for typing
11) Look, no one really gives a rat's hinny what your tolerance for
Pina Coladas is.
12) Blogging drunk is reserved for sober professionals. Leave your blood at the Red Cross, not the intersilkweb. If you crack a molar with an electronic toothbrush, P.M. someone else, please.
13) If you inadvertently insult an international celebrity (other than
the very public figure Paris Hilton) by using 'from' rather than 'of'--you're on your own, Sparky.
14) That if you know all the words to IF, not necessarily in correct order, get drunk and screw. If you're too drunk to drive, call the police. If the uniforms don't arrive, throw your keys down the sewer. If it's winter and below zero, think positively. Also, gun sellers apparently have less liability than bartenders...there is no romance in DEATH.
14 a.) If you can use John Denver, Icarus and Stevie Wonder in one
cogent sentence, you probably should at least consider learning or re-learning a musical instrument, especially if you live in the boondocks.
15) If you have questions--ask. Tho histrionically blood sport, blogging,
(ok--is it not unlike or like?) boxing is a competitive boondoogle. If you have questions ask. Like, what the hell is creative nonfiction?
16) you find yourself BUT if you're old enough to remember
Mel Brooks and Mitch Rider, seriously consider using astericks in your 'seriousness'
17) this is an asterick:*
18) Don't forget to say grace!
19) If you're working on your blog amidships, a room of 'failed writers', and I use the term affectionately, remember it's
a) the journey
b) moma didn't lie
c) you probably are a LEFT OVER VIETNAM ERA HIPPIE
d) should wrk on your conjunctives & just maybe:
e) say yes when your SO asks if you want margarine and mayo on the turkey croissant while watching a graphic (munch) spin-off of ER and the handsome actor [tubulated] also bedside, simultaneously, what the heck, as he chats with the son of that guy in 'Play Misty for Me' discussing his xray (vision?!) of his _____--this is a tough call for the hypochondriacs out THERE.
Think: I don't believe in Elvis.
Another yr older!
FIRST WORDS are importante'.
*Vietnam Era Hippies* c
Pay attention to ergonomics! I reached for number twenty and slouched right through Bethlehelm, through the green door (inside looney tunes) and this: So . . . did this post hit a warp in the space-time continuum that's it just now getting an EP? If so, I think we need to revisit the whole "relativity" thing. Tarreyton, Miller and Clark, take you out to the park! It's a spoof, sytrye `'/o ------->0. Off the wall!
21) IF your're lucky enough to make a friend or two or 7B friends, blow smoke up their skirts at all times. Never allow anyone else to define anyone else.
22) OTHO if your favorites outnumber your followers it could be a sign that you can always go 'mediore' and quote influential philosophers, successful pundits, Henry James, folk singers, and obtusely meld your own 'craft' with an entire onslaught nay an incessant diluge of otherpeoplesstuff until the handful of 'followers' loses track of who said what where when how Y.
Easier to print your own 'label' POET. Forget the paradigm.
I am watching Ted Nugent and Tommy Thompson as I type.
The twenty-third thing I learned from opening a blogsite is that if you must include music, include your current favorite song. I shall cut and paste an illustration for item #24, as soon as I extract that molar.