We try to picture what it would be like to engage in a courageous act? Like dreaming of saving babies from a burning plane, finding and reporting a notorious terrorist, rescuing a drowning person, negotiating peace in a dangerous war-torn country, fighting for what's right. The Walter Mitty drea… Read full post »

I want to eat at 4pm, after years of conditioning by after-school and after-work snacks. A patient wants to cry when she thinks of her critical, judgemental mother. A son wants to argue when his father starts talking politics. Someone falls asleep when the music starts. Another taps her foot. A… Read full post »

An octogenerian, somewhat faded, a bit dumpy, plainly-dressed, quiet, modest, sweet sits across from me. So easy it would be to assume that she has nothing of interest to share. Stop, ask questions, listen. She's written books, talked with kings and stars, and could regale you for hours with her stor… Read full post »

A man decides to wax his car, regardless of his rotator cuff injury. He's compelled to take car of material things, which creates an agenda outweighing his physical comfort and the relationship. A woman loves traveling and is always thinking of setting up the next vacation, a task of bucket goals… Read full post »

This is a story about a man who was bullied as a child, by his alcoholic father, neglected by his young immature mother, then used by his stepfather and mother as a cinderfella and babysitter for the younger, spoiled brats. Somehow, he grew up to be independent, responsible and competent. U… Read full post »

I worked with anxious and depressed people today. One woman made the wrong choices several times in her life and can't stop being afraid that something bad will happen when she's least expecting it.  Maybe she feels that she doesn't deserve to feel safe, but I don't risk overinterpretation. … Read full post »

Today, I saw several very bright, even highly intellectual, people who haven't worked for years, due to mental illness, bad luck and learning/attentional problems. Not that they haven't tried on and off. One got messed up with drugs for awhile, which greatly delayed vocational progress, especial… Read full post »

Competition is such a natural part of life. In elementary school, we wonder who the little boys or girls like the most.Pecking order on the playground is a rite of passage. We see who is picked for the sports teams, the accelerated class, the choir, the school play. In high school, we… Read full post »

All day, we're plagued by wonderful displays of affection to moms all over. It's great. Just remember, though, it's not what's offered on a special day, but the caring and appreciation given in little or big ways through the year. Thinking of the guy who gives his sweetheart a lovely card o… Read full post »

There's some research suggesting that old, crusty codgers who see the negative side of everything live longer. Complaining may even relieve tension. But do they live better? Do the good die young? Is the glass really half full?

Look at the people around you. Who's happier--the stodgy, angry comp… Read full post »

An 80 year old mother mentions that her own teenage mom gave her baby self to her grandparents to raise. Do you think it's odd that she did the same to her son? While he spent years resenting her for pawning him off for most of his formative childhood to his… Read full post »

A healthy, doable life is about compromise. Every day requires some compromise for most people most of the time. You can't spend enough time at the gym, so you compromise by cutting it in half. You can't eat half a pound of candy without getting sick or gaining weight, so you… Read full post »

This column/blog is still Dr. Jackie's Mental Health Moment, sometimes to be called "Dr. J's MHM," so I can fit in a bigger title.

Consider the man who complains of lack of sexual desire, aches and pains, lack of emotion, disinterest in former hobbies, and a heavy sense of responsibility. One do… Read full post »

I saw a beautiful, curvatious woman in her 30's this  week who is contemplating liposuction. I can't imagine where, but I do know why. She has carried around a distorted body image for 20 years, since her freshman year in college, when she gained the freshman 15 and kept it on… Read full post »

I evaluated an inmate in a state correctional facility/prison today. The kids in the waiting room, excited with their field trip to see Daddy, saddened me. The inmate I visited saddened me more. Like so many residents of prisons, state hospitals, and other institutions, he doens't know how to "make i… Read full post »

It's really hard to tell the truth when you think someone will discount or invalidate what you say. Whoever is listening may not even mock you or try to make you feel bad. Still,  just by acting astonished or as if what you said is incredulous, she gives you the message that… Read full post »

The insecure, weak person and the one who has been unfaithful or easi;y-tempted in the past are most prone to jealousy. Jealousy in a relationship is a form of attepted ownership. Rather than strive towards winning someone's fidelity by treating that person with love and respect, the jealous lov… Read full post »

What is the path to inner peace? It certainly can't be perfection or nobody would obtain it. Some people claim religious or spiritual connection, others say love, or they find peace in nature, music, art or any other kind of beauty. Buddhists have a kind of meditative surrender or giving up/letting… Read full post »

Is beauty really in the eye of the beholder? Research demonstrates some early attraction and appreciation of lights, colors, and even faces normally considered "prettier." Children as young as 2 or 3 choose what society considers better-looking stuff and people. Yet, we all know of the love of t… Read full post »

People stay stuck in all sorts of ways. I know several chronic pain patients who try a few methods, such as massage or heating pad, get little or no relief and give up. They don't learn self-hypnosis, mental imagery yoga, or relaxation techniques, believing that a pill or surgery may help… Read full post »

There are scholarly articles galore supporting the tendency to stay sick and traumatized longer after a work-related accident or abuse, as long as there is a workmen's comp case pending. The psychologist checks. as much as possible, whether adjustment was a lot better before whatever happened, whethe… Read full post »

Our life story emerges from the basic story of our families in the beginning--where they're from, what they name us, their hopes and expectations, their personalities. There's a basic script, such as "you will be stylish," "you will be educated," "family will be everything." It's not always positive.… Read full post »

It's so odd the way things work out sometimes. A friend noted that so many people die around the time of their birthday, but give or take a month, there's a one in four chance of that. I guessed that we might need 70 seats at my mom's memorial service, and… Read full post »

Isn't it amazing how people live longer, healthier and happier when surrounded by a community of peers who care? Research shows these results over and over again. Anecdotally, too, we know how much better life goes, no matter what bad luck transpires or tragedy hits, when we talk with nice people,… Read full post »

My own mother died Sunday, after a long, slow decline from dementia. I visited the Holocaust museum in Washington, D.C. the day before she died, remembering a lot of our family history. I am watching Margaret Thatcher (aka Meryl Streep) suffer from dementia on film in "The Iron Lady," as I write… Read full post »