jackie2's Blog

Dr. Jackie's Mental Health Moment


Lewisburg, Pennsylvania, USA
August 01
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade
Only child of holocaust survivors from Eastern and Central Europe, grew up in Phila., Central PA, and NYC (2nd home). Psychologist since 1970 working with children and adults in wide variety of selttings, including schools, hospital, courts, private office, and prisons.

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JANUARY 27, 2013 7:19PM

Sexy Old Men-Dr. Jackie's Mental Health Moment

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OS blogger John Walker writes so well about "tricks" to get daily sex from the wife. As men age, as we all know by the TV ads for Cialis, Viagra, and Androgel, it may be more of a challenge for wives to get some sex from their husbands. (Feel free to substitute the words "significant other.") They don't always have a physical problem and the brain certainly is the main sex organ, even if they do. Here are some ideas for the women:

1. Make sure the man feels powerful and in control, like his ideas count, even if you earn more money and really have a lot of control. Ask his opinion and follow his directions, especially when it doesn't matter either way to you. It doesn't matter to you if he picks the restaurant or movie, decides what date people can come over, and chooses the color scheme for the bathroom. If he says it's up to you, still check to see if he likes your choices. He needs to feel needed and important.

2. Let him know he looks great, or, at least, cute, especially to you. Men are as self-conscious about their looks as women. They just don't discuss it much.

3. Clean up after him, if necessary, without complaining. He knows when he's sloppy and really appreciates not having it pointed out much. He'll be so grateful that you didn't nag.

4. Don't compare him to other men. For example, he doesn't need to know how successful and rich your girlfriend's husband is or that he wins at golf a lot or got a new sports car. He'll probably find out eventually, anyway and like that you didn't rub it in. Men are very competitive and feel like losers when the wife admires other men.

5.  Don't complain. There are times you hate his TV shows, tire of his music, think he's wasting his time playing games, wish he would be more productive or less busy and not a workaholic, etc.. Unless, it's an impossible situation or directly hurtful, realize he's human and cut him much slack. Even if you must say something, make your suggestion gently, as in question form, like, "Do you think sleeping pills are a good idea 3 days in a row?" or "I read that.....What do you think>"

6. Don't nag. Say it once nicely. That's it.

7. Cuddle, touch, kiss but not too much or too intrusively, so he doesn't feel bombarded and used as an object. Yes, even men, especially old ones, can feel "used" or like you only want them for one thing. Be cute and sweet and sexy but not demanding.

Good luck!



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