So there I was clutching the cold white toilet, kneeling on the tile floor in front. The shirt I was wearing was soaked with sweat and my Patagonia sat in a puddle of what I hoped was water but felt fairly confident was not. I could hear Biondetta's… Read full post »

There was a moment, standing there on Captain Alvaro's boat, The Melmoth, in which Biondetta and I locked eyes. She was defiantly glaring at me, perhaps trying to ward me off by letting me know I was not welcome, but at the same time, deep within the dark… Read full post »

I stood on the deck of our sailboat and took a long swig of the cold Tecate in my hand. The short trip from the Marina to Catalina had been an interesting mix of quiet introspection with a touch of lost-at-sea panic, but now we were anchored just off… Read full post »

Some mornings are better than others. Some are glorious and sunny with birds singing and my surfboard calling, but some are less so, with a lingering taste of whiskey in my mouth and my sinuses feeling as if someone packed my head with glue. Add your very first… Read full post »

After discovering that the two captains who were sailing our ship into the harbor at Avalon on Catalina Island were both incapacitated and face down on the table, I popped back up above deck with great alarm. Ike was still staring off at the other ship ahead… Read full post »

I realize I was in the middle of a story about being lost at sea with a couple of drug infused rodents and I will return to that tomorrow. As you probably know, I survived the odyssey and you've also probably surmised there are going to be beautiful… Read full post »

A lot of random invites come my way. It has something to do with the fact that most people know I'm down for whatever adventure is at hand and then also because at some point I made a concerted decision to befriend interesting characters: the artful dodgers and… Read full post »

There he is, again, on the caller ID. That's the third time this week his name has popped up on my phone. I look at it and hesitate. Do I really want to talk to my dad? Now? Ever? My girlfriend asks me why I don't want to… Read full post »

The day after the video tape incident was Friday and Heather left me a voice mail saying she had plans for the evening but that I should give her a call tomorrow. That left me with a Friday night free and I so I decided to… Read full post »

Regret is an odd thing to consider for a man whose moral compass has no true north. The consideration of what constitutes regrettable likely differs from that of the average Joe. Taking it a step further into weird-ass territory, when you consider something that might be regrettable… Read full post »

I actively avoid traffic gridlock and large hordes of people meandering around with no real objective in sight. I do both of these for my own sanity. I hate the in between moments in which I'm just in limbo, whether it be on the 405 or caught behind… Read full post »

If you've been following along, you're aware that I spent some time working at a car dealership while trying to get my first novel published. I was an amazing car salesman. Despite the fact that there wasn't a lot of traction with the novel, I felt it… Read full post »

It's amazing to me how stubborn an idea can be. In a world in which we've created supercomputers that can crunch massive amounts of data as well as understand enough of the subtle nuances and puns of our spoken language to be viable competitors on the game show… Read full post »

One moment you're sitting in the bar at Chateau Marmont on a semi-blind date, wondering if there is any place you would less like to be and the next you are in a cab headed to Saddle Ranch on Sunset Strip to ride a mechanical bull and certain you now know… Read full post »

The dawn of internet dating has led to more people wishing a first date would end quickly than had previously occurred in the entire history of human courtship. I dabbled in online dating myself, always careful to avoid women using head shots as their photo and always wary… Read full post »

It's more than apparent, looking at this debacle, that she wasn't nearly as committed as I was. Granted, we hadn't discussed it but since she appeared to be leading the way, I assumed we were both committed. I assumed incorrectly, as we are all wont to do from… Read full post »

Considering the number of things that can go wrong on a first date, it's amazing any of us great apes couple up at all. Then again, romance kicks in like adrenaline with all her rosy colored glory and we are willing to ignore glaring faults and red flags,… Read full post »

I've had a lot of jobs in my life. I worked through high school and college and even since graduating have held the occasional odd job alongside my so-called career. I guess that's what guys with Philosophy degrees do. I've worked in a carpentry shop, been a janitor,… Read full post »