u cAm outta ur hOl, u wurm!
nah-ow ahm gonna gitcha!
Cops call it a senseless attack.

Scalene poetess, are you wearing clean socks?
Her stepson cackles.

Yowl yowl yowl,
thou enuretic glue-pot!

I define thee with my one
wily neuron!

Now!

It’s too late to grow wings!
Grin and wring its no-neck!
Neighbor/… Read full post »

If liberals and progressives have any kind of philosophy…

(And they don’t. It’s just a grab-bag of “Wouldn’t it be sorta nice if…”)

But if liberals and progressives had any kind of philosophy, it would probably resemble John Rawls’&nb/… Read full post »

I killed the Grand Ump of Wal-Mart!
I killed him in a snowdrop!
I killed him with a radish and a roadshow!
I killed him with rosin and sonar!

I killed the Grand Ump of Wal-Mart!
I killed him with a handy pair of trawlers!
I killed him in his underpants!
I killed him on Shrove/… Read full post »

Mastery of just about anything is hard to attain, and if you’re looking for easy ways to attain it, what could be more pitiful than inventing an art-form only for the purpose of proclaiming bogus “mastery” of some kind of tedious busy-work?

But what the heck!

Here come the mis-o-dro… Read full post »

Cropped, rotated, and re-lighted, because Edward Steichen’s original includes one hand that looks like a claw, grain like raw cement around the shadows, and a whole tableau of threadbare prop furniture, and there’s nothing about it worth looking at except Marlene Dietrich and the… Read full post »

As a psychological curiosity, Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of human “needs” would be silly enough to qualify for a Hall of Fame of Bad Ideas, but most Americans accept it as self-evident.

Gotta take care of business!

Trash the Constitution to secure the dirt!

And aft… Read full post »

I had a life before I was
crushed like a bug in an accident.
What kind of life?
Life like a bug!

Born screaming, died screaming!
Screamed in the middle!

My typical evening begins with me in
knee-pants and buster-browns until 9 or 10.
Then I hit the road to selfhood.

What’s your favorite appliance?
Can you lactate on demand?
Do you dwell in a heliport?

Is that a typo?

My typical evening began in 1987 and never ended.
Is it always the s/… Read full post »

An ideal may be a grand theoretical system like John Rawls’ Theory of Justice,or just something you wish for, like “my ideal vacation.”

But about the ideal distribution of wealth, there isn’t much difference between the grand theory and what most people want.

In th… Read full post »

Show me your junk!
You think I’m joking?
You’re the joke!

Uncork your little cruet, cutie!
Crunk that jerk!

Is the surf erect in Malibu?
Watch those fuckers twitch!
Unzip your suture!
Suck my tusk!

These truisms were
written in shit
on the toilet-walls of some club in Malibu.

I trusted al… Read full post »

Forget about why I was reading such a thing, but as I cruised through Wikipedia’s list of the ten most common “organizational anti-patterns,” meaning counter-productive patterns of behavior which cripple organizations, it occurred to me that American po… Read full post »

I got my teeth fixed when I was eighteen.
This entitled me to a few feeble benefits,
like inflight movies and the bibles you find in hotels.

After college I became a
philosophical
giggolo, ate lice, googled,
grew a pair of gills, and that’s my life.
I was loco right out o/… Read full post »

“His face is turned toward the past, and where we see a chain of events, he sees a single catastrophe which keeps piling wreckage upon wreckage and hurls them at his feet. The angel would like to stay, awaken the dead, and reconstruct what has been smashed apart, but a… Read full post »

I wanted to be an enigma instead of this
infinitely fractured fish-boy!

Home-boys! Faux-naifs!
Forgive this fish-voice or if
not him, grieve for thyselves!

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

…

Is hog-bane the same as begonias?
Enjamb my iamb, Grandma!

…

I was famous!
I was famous!
I was fam… Read full post »

Last relic of a farm…
wisteria in bloom
behind a truck-stop. Read full post »

Read full post »

From Sky News…

The US soldier accused of killing 16 villagers in Afghanistan had suffered a traumatic brain injury on an earlier tour in Iraq, according to a US official. The army staff sergeant was seriously injured when he was in a vehicle that rolled during a tour of

… Read full post »

I have a friend in Asia.
She lives in Mumbai, Maharashtra.
I live in Hollywood.
Her problems are my problems.
Her backyard is my backyard.
Are you keeping score?

Last night I dreamed about my friend
as she appears on a map of Asia.
Is that you, my dear friend,
in that micro-mini-dot?
Is that you, my d/… Read full post »

Unhand your wad! says the angel of mugging,
but the angel of greed only heehaws.

I own the snow and my God is a snow-wonk.
I am his nun of the unknown hexagon.
You can’t even count to six!
You sing like a snow-hog
and a hog don’t chug ingots!

You bet your life in… Read full post »

What percent of us adults over 16 have jobs? It’s a fundamental question about national employment and unemployment, but it almost never makes the news, much less the headlines.

What we read about instead is unemployment expressed in terms of U-3, one of six “alternati… Read full post »

I live in a vacuum of the uncanny
valley, Sally!

Your world falls in.

Welcome to my cartoon!
Your navel looks like a vulva!
Your vulva looks like a valve!
Instead of love you got
noodles and a null
agenda, Brenda!

“Are those supposed to be your gonads?”
Brenda/Sally replies.

“Egad!… Read full post »

You may love Ayn Rand or you may hate her, or you may be more or less indifferent, like me, but for anyone who doesn’t have his or her head up his or her butt, this is obviously one of the very best essays ever written about Marilyn Monroe.

Nobody… Read full post »

Myth or math?
A moot totem!

Myth or math?
Hey! Is that a great question, or what?

Hoot for love!
Hoot for compassion!
Hoot for abundance of life you can’t even imagine!

But we choose between ennui and a fecal empire. Read full post »