By the "other f-word," we're talking, of course, about "faggot." 

In the second episode of the Slate podcast series Lexicon Valley, co-hosts Bob Garfield and Mike Vuolo discuss the highly controversial slur. Bob Garfield begins by laughingly admiting that he uses the word "pretty much all the time-- ironically," in what he considers a joking, harmless way. 

Mike Vuolo recalls being in elementary school "and someone would call you a faggot on the playground, and your response would be, 'yeah, well, a faggot is a bundle of sticks'" (I remember that, too, actually). The ever-charming Bob laughs, "That's kind of a faggoty thing to say." Cringe. 

The way I see it, unless you're gay-- a gay man, to be precise, because that is the group at which the word "faggot" is almost always slung-- you cannot use the other f-word in good conscience. I don't care how many gay friends you have, or how harmless you think it is; it's not your word to use.

Before I continue, let me get off my soapbox for a minute to admit that I, too, am guilty of having said "faggot," "fag," and "faggy." When I was around fourteen-fifteen, I sometimes said "faggy" (as in, "that's a faggy shirt"). I stopped when I realized how unacceptable and not-cute it was. Then, more recently than I would care to remember, I accidentally (drunkenly) called someone a faggot in the heat of an argument.  I don't remember doing it, but I was told the next day. I was incredibly embarrassed. I still am.

Most people, if they thought about it hard enough, probably remember using some sort of slur in their life. I just hate hearing some cocky presumably straight guy liked Bob Garfield (I'm assuming he's straight because if he weren't, that would probably be relevant to the conversation) throw around the word "faggot" like it's nothing. It may be funny to him, but plenty of gay men probably don't think so. To feel entitled to use such a historically bigoted slur is hurtful and disrespectful.