Karl Rove knows well a shutdown will boost Obama's popularity. So says cnn. So says EJ Dionne, who looks alarmingly like my late brother in law.
Why do so many people look & talk just like other people?
I guess I won't have to worry about that soon. Right before I muted the tv I heard a sinuous sounbite: "a shutdown will ensure MORE abortions soon..."
I'm mentally ill, did I mention? Bipolar. This means everything from the environment is accepted and actually thirsted for, or entirely eschewed due to sensory/intellectual overload, leading to moral crisis.
I'm in a moral crisis right now.
I am just unable to hate anyone in particular, or in general.
So I shut off the tv and get back to hating myself.
................................................................................................
I have social security disability because I have been found unfit for honorable labor. That's fine with me, I entirely agree. I am no mathematical nor computer savant autistically impervious to my environment, able to build a business off my fellow humans' secretest urges, or most necessary needs.
My "reward" or "compensation" for being crazy is that I am and always have been a master of words.
Ironically, this made me mute.
I cannot tell you how many friends I've lost by refusing to answer the phone because I have..nothing...(literally & physiologicall;y)...to say.
.......................................................................................................
My mom had three miscarriages before she finally had me, at age forty. I came out blue, and refused to breathe.
At age 43 I have smoked for about 25 years now.
To compensate for this, I have studied my breath for about 20 years, as a sort of quasi-buddhist.
I enjoy holding my breath and letting it out in a nice long light-headed exhalation that reconnects me to the world by reminding me of the relief of being able to breathe. The concommitant inhale is ecstasy because it is involuntary. God comes in for a few seconds.
........................................................................................................
The pie in the garden, ye Friday Fiction authors, is none other than apple, of course. Mother Mary baked it for us; Tom Sawyer stole it right out of the window, then got chased down the Mississipi by some nutty French girl wanting a bite. Tom was still a kid. If he'd been just a bit older, he would have set out a nice picnic for her & him, and they would have feasted among the blooming azaelas and the hungry friendly ants.
..........................................................
I have turned the sound back on my tv. I must stay well-informed to be a good citizen. I only wish I could pay some damn taxes like normal people so I'd have a stake in this society of mine.
Wait! I pay cigarette taxes, do I not?
I hope some of that cigarette money gets to the abortion clinics.
They will be overloaded with work soon.
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Natalie K. Munden
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Comments
rated for hope...
is always
a good
start
from a quarter sized hole in my heart
I truly believe that events in the world today
will create a world where everyone is bipolar
feeling mania to solve the worlds problems
and unable to move when they try
being unipolar will be the diagnosis of
those who have no foot in reality
join the party
before it is too crowded
rated with love
like my big sis.
who needs my advice to program her vcr
and use her dvd!
i write alot better than i talk.
that's me.
i like faceless encounters.
faces discombobulate me.
\make me wanna please.
my dis-
ease.
hi-ya,
or hi there,
or hey..
i cannot ever decide which is appropriate.
thanks, whisper
unipolarity is hardly an option in
a world with
1. magnetism...positive & negative
2. electricity..." & "
3. physics with particles & anti particles,
etc etc
not to mention yin & yang
god & devil
christ & anti christ,
and
most importantly
sweet & sour,
cuz we all got ONE Tongue, that's all,
babel-on-on-ians..
also : yes we are creating a new
party.
a T&A party?
NO!
a
garden party with lotsa pie
and art james with blueberries in his hat.
good person
and
I'll
always
consider
you a great friend.
No matter what.
Glad your back.
Even if my blog will
be deleted soon.
Always take
care of
yourself first;
thanks for
teaching me
that
James.
We all have
difficult
times
and
you
help so many people
with your writing.
I only wish these kind words of yours were true.
Mayhap i shall never know.
Sorry about not capitalizing my "i's"
I am not ready yet,
probably.
Ditto re. friendhood etc.
Yours sincerely, James.
that.
Goodbye.
uh: her comment re. me being gifted or me being
inexplicably tonguetied or me should probably turn off tv,
which i did when they said definitely that there is not a shutdown
coming tomorrow, thank goodness gracious and the accumulated
wisdom of all the political strategists in the dc area, which is rem-iniscent of when i was eight and my dad told me all about the birds and the bees , leaving out the butterflies and the hummingbirds and
especially the egrets.
the reason i sometimes can express myself is that only on os
do i ever get positive feedback for my insane thoughts.
the reason i am sorry, to friends whom i have
offended, is that i do not mean to offend or defend,
but just be me.
in the middle again, between clowns and jokers.
someday i will get literally ironically fantabulistically
improbably impossiblly
verbally proficient enought to
be taken at face value,
which is i never know when to shut up.
I never believed there would be a shutdown. Too much money at stake, but think of the ratings with the hype!!
which is the key to mental illness.
which i in no way bring up to get PITY,
the awfullest thing i have ever heard
about me.
which i used to do all the time til i puked my guts up
at myself. which i still have to do, cuz
often i am told i am looking for pity.
which i am not.
i am not.
i
am
not!!!
In Aus we don't call it "shutting down," we call it "blocking supply."
Last time it happened, in 75, the then govt called a double ( both houses ) dissolution and had a snap election. Lost, the fools. Enter years of dismantling our relations with the rest of Asia, since restored.
I think your repubs knew a shut-down could only go OB's way.
I wouldn't play poker with OB.
Your dad reminds me of Eric Idle in the bookstore, asking for the Abridged Field Guide to Birds.
Cleese behind the counter said, "Abridged ?"
"Yeah," says Eric, "the one without the gannets."
government shutdown..
HOWEVER...(watch out, my mouth will get me in innocent trouble)
(why is naivete seen as scorn and sarcasm)\
um...
however ..i also foresaw a non-govt shutdown cuz it just didnt feel
"right" in my media-savvy head, which i just said was not savvy,
except for in a naive way.
do i contradict myself? my multitudes say who gives a damn
as midnight approaches,but
my so called persona says
uhoh wait til u wake up in the morning with an incredible
hangover..
(to bring literary merit to my words i will now
pretend to misunderstand myself,
or
maybe bemoan my own farcical fate as
somehow emblematic of the way mentally ill so called people
are treated..
or treat themselves..)
or, or, etc..
no shutdown in my head tonite.
emergency measures to be taken.
read ginsberg. or listen to the wandering jew bastard dylan,
whom i adore.
furthermore!!!etc!!...
or whatever the damn hell you down-under-folk are doing
right now
to explain why one of you would write such a damn cryptic comment on an American writer's blog, full well knowing
that it would lead him back into his own prose to
try to 1. remember or b. intuit
what he'd said about his father, which, on a cursory look,
is not much,
but then again
i may have said it in the comments,
and then again i forget.
typical american well medicated young man.
me.
Makes me want to step out and have a cigarette in celebration of this find after not having had one for quite some time.
The comments are every bit as interesting as the piece itself.
brassawe. tonight, however,
faced with an absurd ramping up of the speed of my os wifi,
after a month of hit & miss,
and a week of molasses,
(which i attribute to He who deserves Credit: the unknown God,
worshipped at Athens until that pesky st. john came along)
the key to amazing writing is short term memory deficit.
Also :
the way to make ok writing better, i would assume,
is to edit.
personally i am ...ha ha..mentally ill...and thus abnormal in the
simple fact
a. not that i look for pity
but b. am truly abnormal.
in which case c. all i gotta do is go back and look at what i wrote awhile back
but d. won't do it cuz i am too impatient
to CATCH THAT LIGHT(e)ning in a f-ing bottle,
without,
god help me,
offending
1. anyone else
or 2. myself.
...................................
it's actually quite easy once you get used to being crazy.
Take that with a grain of salt though. Talk about abnormality. I admit that I am an abnormal reader.
2 pm in the balmy Autumn Saturday arvo, typing to a chorus of lorikeets and mynahs, maybe crickets or tinnitus.
Even a distant lawnmower. An Autumn Lawnmower. Very rare ; very much sought after, the Green-breasted Autumn Lawnmower.
also a buncha damn fools who keep rating me
in a quick succession
with comments i can
actually not understand too well on first read
and so must try to linger with a bit, in the instant of clarity
that is delivered unto my meme-collection i call a memory-
capable mind.
i agree with you on your sanity stats.
except to say that
i am polling even beyond low in the independents.
of those saner than me,
not those who understand me,
or god
help us, and deliver us from
TRIVIALITIES, those
who agree with me.
i have no agreement with what i said earlier. if you pin my
hummingbird like wings to it
i shall call the aspca.
or my one or two women friends who can still begin to fathom me.
who will hurt you good and hard and bad in your
in bewtween secret places between the words
of what you mean and
what you meant to mean,
which they say is too mean.boo hoo.ha
(WARNING: PITIFUL STUFF A COMIN")
I HAVE EXEMPLIFIED TONITE THE MANY TRAVAILS amd
trivialities faced by
1. mentally ill
2.developmentally retarded
3.developmentally challenged
4. challengingly ironic
5. ironically challenging due to
a. all 4 above
or b. any permutation thereof
leaving me
6. barely comprehensible
a. except to myself
and, in a coup de grace of irony,
8 1/2: somewhat somehow synchronousitically
a real big headed fellow with plenty of wit and charm
not to mention smashing good looks
and a thimbleful of male humility
but a truckload of
female humility
down on his (or my) head.
or someones.
dylan the thief always said jokingly
"there's gotta be some way outta here..etc....
and it is
through strict and literal observance of the
Rimbaud adage
which he stole
saying i is an other.
or I is another.
or if you sticklers prefer,
"I" is an "other"/
ee cummings invented us all, i fear.
or gasoline to my water with the mixture of my absurdly
speed of light wifi's
lighted match,
which i must wonder if has something to do with
a. god
b.goddess
or c. the devil
in any of her (ha..tease) (thank u art james)
forms.
by the way, (tease) means tease.
once upon a time
you spun yr wheels too fine
in your grime
didntcha?
used to fall
sayin' it's all for u doll
on your pen
in your den
didntcha
u used to laff about
all the women who were hangin out
now you don't talk so soft
now you dont scream so quiet
as you scrounge up the coarage to cut em down off the poison vine
whose blame shall never be told>?
how can i unfeel
tell me what should i feel
to be all alone
with one direction home
like an utter unknown
just like
a camel with lotsa room to fit through the eye of the needle
and none of the disfiguring humps and lumps
and
retaining of water, etc. ha ha
once upon a time
you spun yr wheels too fine
in your grime
didntcha?
used to fall
sayin' it's all for u doll
on your pen
in your den
didntcha
u used to laff about
all the women who were hangin out
now you don't talk so soft
now you dont scream so quiet
as you scrounge up the coarage to cut em down off the poison vine
whose blame shall never be told>?
how can i unfeel
tell me what should i feel
to be all alone
with one direction home
like an utter unknown
just like
a camel with lotsa room to fit through the eye of the needle
and none of the disfiguring humps and lumps
and
retaining of water, etc. ha ha
once upon a time
you spun yr wheels too fine
in your grime
didntcha?
used to fall
sayin' it's all for u doll
on your pen
in your den
didntcha
u used to laff about
all the women who were hangin out
now you don't talk so soft
now you dont scream so quiet
as you scrounge up the coarage to cut em down off the poison vine
whose blame shall never be told>?
how can i unfeel
tell me what should i feel
to be all alone
with one direction home
like an utter unknown
just like
a camel with lotsa room to fit through the eye of the needle
and none of the disfiguring humps and lumps
and
retaining of water, etc. ha ha
Once I started speaking again, I spoke only the truth, if others are confused or angry I accept it. I allow them to go and learn the truth for themselves. I feel much better now. Sadly, it's not going well for illusion-speakers but they will soon see. A connection between tax money and abortion clinics are illusion-speak. People believe because they have money they have some intrisic value in our system. Not true. Only the money has value.
If a single human can be worth zero then every human is worth zero. Human is the lowest common denominator. Warren Buffet is just a glob of antique flesh, nothing more than an 80 year old fetus, but oh his gorgeous, sparking billions are desireable beyond belief. Under our current sytem, the glob we call Warren is worth nothing, only his billions have value. Why hate yourself? You are real, the system is a farce.
There is no point in trying to understand illusion-speak or interrupt it. Painful as it is, it is unraveling as it must. What will remain is the beautiful truth. Feel free to hate the lies.
rips my sarcastic tongue right out of my warbling throat.
reminds me of the need for an irony free heart zone...
demilitarized...
i alas shall never give up making sense of the incomprehensible,
i fear.
i need distance.
i guess i have not yet been burt enough, hm?
IFC...irony free comment.
ps.. i identify...
which is the only reason we write, yes? to call out in the
wilderness and
echo-locate some
critters out there as
weird and wonderful as ourselfs..
or..pemit me, let me say...our self.
I can carry my own irony free heart zone with me as I come and go, I am safe wherever I land now. We duck in and out of sarcasm, make self deprecating jokes and endure. In our hearts we wish to sing, give and feel joy. A long, long time ago, the reality was that there wasn't enough. Now there is enough but the fear from eons ago lingers. The fear creates endless illusions, children born now struggle even more to accept the illusions as truth.
"Echo-locate" how do you come to this term? Do you inner know these things? Is this the voice with which you speak when you don't use words? This coming language of heart-to-heart has no ability to lie painlessly. I become more tired of these heiroglyphics and words without tune every day.
You are not abnormal, all are "wired" like us, but not all hear yet as there is too much other anesthetic. It's a hard time for all my friend, keep the distance if you can't "block" or "pull in" while out and about or you'll go mad. Many are hearing too much and going mad. Pity the physicists, imagine the conflict when the truths keep staring them in the face. It's good to hear you, time for the old body to sleep.
Peace and love to you, Bleue
The stars ain’t falling down…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt3pMzPjauc
We all have the same trouble…stuck in the middle with you…havin’ grown partial to the place
As for you and the phone, I think your friends and family should understand. I'd be worried, but if you've always been you - and you have, then they should know what's going on. I'm glad you have a sister and brother-in-law you love and who love you. That's what's important in life. That and creating beauty, which you always do.
"I am just unable to hate anyone in particular, or in general.
So I shut off the tv and get back to hating myself." So wise - this will stay with me for a long time.
And I love what you wrote about the pie. More wisdom in that paragraph than in anything I've ever written.
Good luck.
Thanks for this. Like a bracing splash of cold water. Meant in the nicest possible way.
My son was a blue baby too. He no cry.
The midwife was supposed to spank?
I held my son. We looked into eyes.
His eyes squinted. We communed.
It was nonverbal. We baby talked.
He was wet behind the ears too.
My son was wondering to dad.
He may have wandered away.
He came from someplace.
My sons body was warm.
He wanted to skinny dip.
Swim in amniotic fluids.
My son thought thought?
What a big mess I do see.
I no ask to be born blue!
`
Actually ~ Great Memory.
You made me recall a poem.
Dylan Thomas is J.M.E. too.
`
I may try a kind-idea on my bog.
It's a few lines from Dylan Thomas.
...and Art's poem about his baby son.
Thanks for a great post & thread. Breathing is always good. :)
Your writing is so impressive, no lie from me, I promise. I wait with bated breath for your next piece of bi-polar, bi-partisan beauty.
R
Lezlie
baby blue
?
I see you
have
got
quite
the crowd
here.
Good,
you are
a good
writer.
And
there are
within
all
of us
both the lights of:
dark
and
light.
I can
see
you
are
right
we
should
not
be
friends.
Sometimes that's just the way it goes. I am sorry if I ever did anything to hurt you. I never tried to do anything but be supportive of all your interest:
volunteer work,
your other friends,
your writing,
reading, etc.
So still all
my best
to you.
Over and out, V.
This is the best description of meditation I've heard in a long time. I met God again as I read it.
Stay cool, you're just fine, James.