double dating

Histort: /hiss – tort/ v. To change the dates, times or sequence of past events, in order to put a better perspective on your current situation.  Sentence: When Elvira related the times and dates of her whereabouts during the month of October, it seemed she had historted everything… Read full post »

Our Mother's Day Verbotomy, Bob Dylan is born...

Bob Dylan is born

Infantuation: /in-fant-choo-ay-shun/ n. The emotional connection between a mother and her child, which continues on through life despite all the protestations.

Sentence: Infantuation was the only explanation for the love she felt for her dyl… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 27, 2009 10:47AM

Feeling apprehendsive?

Omigiod! I'm surrounded

Petrifuzz: /pe tri fuzz/ v. intr., To feel nervous, self-conscious and guilty whenever you see a police officer.

Sentence: The patrol car at a cafe, or stopping someone on a highway, chills us and fills us, with anxieties. We avoid them, like they were a dread disease. Even… Read full post »

JANUARY 25, 2009 8:34AM

Furboding pets in the morning...

Your hair looks mousey

Furboding: /fer-BODE-ing/ n. A pet's creepy and silent stare which is so intense that it pierces sleep.

Sentence: Sandra’s dreams were interrupted by an awful sense of furboding and she became aware that her cat, Felix, was staring at her ominously as she slept.

Etymology:Read full post »

JANUARY 24, 2009 6:40AM

Looking for obsolution in antechquity

Wow! Look what Grandpa gave me!

Antechquity: /an tek kwa tee/ n. An old media format that is no longer popular or easily accessible, such as floppy disks, VHS tapes or stone tablets.

Sentence: The kids went back upstairs to watch TV because they couldn't figure out how to turn on Grandpa's "books". And so,… Read full post »

Do you think Elsie could sleep on the floor?

Fleaesta: /flE-s-TAH/ n. a nap or rest shared with a pet animal.

Sentence: It didn't matter how much whining he did or how many "discussions" were weathered, Dennis knew choosing to spend the night with Nina invariably meant another fleaesta with her cats.

Etymology: Fleaesta v. tr. combinati… Read full post »

We have securitized the lavatory entrance systems

Gabyrinth: /GAB-uh-rinth/ n., A person who uses big words to inflate their unusually small ideas.

Sentence: Bob thought that his gabyrinth, a form of English, but with a strange admixture of words gleaned from Old English and Yiddish, made him sound super intelligence. Happy New Year to all… Read full post »

Who's the lucky lady?

 I'm looking forward to seeing all my old friends on New Year's Eve. Perhaps I should bring some notes...

Chumnundrum: /chum-NUN-drum/ n. A moment when you cannot remember the name of a person you are speaking to.

Sentence: When Bob couldn't remember the names of his five former partner… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 30, 2008 1:18PM

My schlockoff is better than your brandardization

Would you like to try my new ride?

Brandardize: /BRAN-dar-diz/ v. tr. To purchase a low-cost product and cover it with the label, or put it inside the packaging of a premium brand.

Sentence: The brandardization of any product is of course a compliment, as imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Etymology: similar… Read full post »

DECEMBER 25, 2008 7:43AM

Festigue Navidud

When am I going to get a real holiday?

Festigue: /fest-teeg/ v. tr., To run out of batteries during the holidays, especially on Christmas morning when all the kids, and half of the adults, are screaming for new toys.

Sentence: Festigue usually sets in about noon on Christmas Eve because of all the shopping and partying the last… Read full post »

DECEMBER 24, 2008 7:00AM

Looks like Santa has pickled himself

Looks like santa has pickled himself

Jollitipple: /JOL-ee-Tip-uhl/ v. intr., To prepare for holiday events where you must chat with irritating co-workers or nagging relatives, by consuming just enough alcohol to make you feel "relaxed".

Sentence: After a couple of "steadiers" Bob, a hoptimist with a 'corona' of confidence, des… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 23, 2008 8:06AM

Oweholynight: Must buy presents.

Must buy presents

Is this the way out of the recession? Or the cause of it?

Oweholynight: /oh holee niten., The wondrous, and the “wonder how I’m going to pay for it” feelings of the holiday shopping season. 

Sentence: Oweholynight! The stores are brightly shining,
It is the ni… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 17, 2008 10:03AM

Intinselate the topsyfirtree

Why can't you get it up?

Intinselate: /in tin syl ate/ v. intr., To be so full of Christmas cheer that you simply sparkle, twinkle and tip over.

Sentence: Every year, Aunt Thelma would light the candles, put on some Christmas music, and pour herself a Doctor Wilson before trimming the Christmas tree. At first,… Read full post »

DECEMBER 16, 2008 7:00AM

This jingolo likes to tinselclown

Nice Christmas decorations...

Jingolo: /jin-goh-low/ n., A person so enamored with the holidays that they don’t just deck their halls and home, but they also decorate their car, their cubicle, their pets, and themselves.

Sentence: Stuart had turned into a complete jingolo. There were holiday bells of all sorts ev… Read full post »

I feel sorry for these poor sardines.

Spaceshuffle: /Spay-ss-shuff-elv. intr., To sit in a very small space, which seems to be getting smaller.

Sentence: Mike was dreading the business trip to Paris, he knew he would have to spend the whole trip doing the spaceshuffle, due to his mean bosses booking his flight with Cheap… Read full post »

I can't believe you made that with just tofu!

Poultrygeist: /pole-tree-guy-st/ n., A recipe that is missing one or more key ingredients. v. tr., To leave out an important ingredient when you are sharing a favorite recipe so that no one else can make it taste as good as yours. 

Sentence: Amanda was disappointed. It looked like she… Read full post »

So team, what do you think of my new idea?

Sneerleader: /snir-leedr/ n., An expressive gesture made with the belief that the person it is directed at cannot see it, typically occurs during telephone conversations, email discourses, and behind people’s backs. v. tr., To use an unseen gesture to express what you cannot say.

SenteRead full post »

Who wants to test my guinea pig stew?

Here are a few words to think about as we prepare for our Thanksgiving feasts.

Deadibles: /DED-i-bulls/ n., Food which has been prepared in such a way that it is unfit for human, or even non-human, consumption.

Sentence: Rob was stumped. Lizzy couldn't stand the fact that his… Read full post »

See! See! I was right, wasn't I!

Disputin: /dis-pyoo-tinn., The immense sense of self-satisfaction the one gets from winning a pointless argument. v. tr., To be so addicted to proving yourself right that you argue compulsively, and endlessly, about anything and everything.

Sentence: Victor’s detractors referr… Read full post »

  My boyfriend disappeared in the laundry!

Blackholse: /black-holz/ n., 1. The process by which pairs of socks are washed, dried, and then separated perhaps never to be reunited again. 2. The place where lost socks disappear to. v. tr., To lose your mate in the wash.

Sentence: Marnie knew if she could just find… Read full post »

Honey! Come see this floor!

Spousebroken: /Spows-bro-ken/ adj., Trained, especially by one's spouse, to have habits that are appropriate for indoor living. n.,  The happy period in a marriage, which occurs once the husband has been fully domesticated.

Sentence: My sexiest man alive happily washes the windows, clea… Read full post »

Do not use in shower?

Duhrections: /duh-reck-shuns/ n., A set of product instructions, or a warning label, which is so obviously self-evident that it should be completely unnecessary. 

Sentence: It seems evident to me that one shouldn't place their bare hand directly into a running snow blower, but apparentl… Read full post »

  Come on! You must be pregnant&

Mistorke: /Mis-stork/ v., To enthusiastically congratulate a woman on her pending motherhood, only to be told that you are mistaken. 

Sentence: Zak was totally mistorken when he asked Angela when the baby was due. He realised his mistake when he saw the look of horror on her… Read full post »

I just bought her new shoes

Roverindulge: /rover - indul - jev. tr., To indulge your pet to the point that it has a better wardrobe, more fashion accessories, and even spends more money on its hair than you do. 

Sentence: Her beloved Mona just sparkled when she walked. Her collar and leash were… Read full post »

Excuse me, but are we getting full attention?

Horrigienics: /hor-i-jen-niks/ v. intr., To groom oneself in inappropriate places or at inappropriate times; i.e. clipping toenails while riding the bus, brushing hair while cooking, or plucking nose hairs during job interviews. n., A person who practices personal hygiene in public places.

SeRead full post »