A Hard Day's Blog

Oh, by all means, I'd be quite prepared for that eventuality.
JUNE 28, 2009 5:24PM

Christian Rock Update: It May Be a Parody, But...

Rate: 11 Flag

I recently wrote a blog about why I think Christian rock and heavy metal are cynical.  I got a lot of interesting, thoughtful comments, and I figured I was done with the subject for awhile - I had said all I wanted to say.

Then I watched the second episode of the new season of True Blood last weekend, the one in which Jason Stackhouse, the brother of the main character, Sookie, gets invited to attend an anti-vampire Christian leadership camp.  Hmm, this could get interesting, I thought.

One of the highlights of the first day at camp is a performance by an up and coming Christian pop/rock singer named Amanda Jane (played by Molly Burnett).  The name of the song is, I kid you not, "Jesus Asked Me Out Today".  Here is the video clip. 

OK, I know it's just a television show.  But really, this isn't that far from the kind of stuff that's actually out there.  There are lots of sexy, pretty girls singing about their undying love for Jesus, how He makes them happy, and how they're just so lonely without Him.  I know I can't be the only one who thinks this is so, so wrong - both musically and theologically.

Let's get this straight right now:  Jesus is not anyone's crush.  Jesus is not a teen idol.  Jesus does not love little girls like that.

Here we have yet another example of taking a normal human state, the budding sexual desire of young girls, and using it to sell a product that channels it somewhere it just does not belong.  I know that sex is used to sell everything.  But Jesus?  This is about as crass as it gets.  There is nothing that separates this music and the feelings it stirs up from secular pop/rock.  It is a complete sham, but people are getting rich off of it, and claiming that it's some kind of "ministry".

Do parents think Jesus is going to take care of that pent-up sexual desire and keep a lid on it until little Ashley gets married?  Is this a good substitute for talking honestly about sex, sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy?  Not to mention self-respect?  

Singing about dating Jesus is a flimsy musical chastity belt that does little to prepare young women for the realities of dealing with the pressure to have sex before they might be ready.

To quote the character of Frederick from Woody Allen's Hannah and Her Sisters, "If Jesus came back and saw what's going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing up."

Amen.

P.S.  I'm predicting that, on tonight's episode, Jason gets caught boffing the pastor's wife anyway. 

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The concept of Christ in relation to an ecstatic state is actually far older than one might suspect. Many saints, including St. Teresa of Avila, reported a relationship with Christ that might be interpreted in modern terms as sexual:

"I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron's point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it . . ."

Mind you, she might have been crazy, or delusional.

And, although I can't believe I'm admitting to this, in a former life, as one of those crazy evangelicals, I experienced a form of ecstasy which far exceeded sex - no drugs involved.

That's not to say that the Christian marketing machine isn't capitalizing on the hopes of parents (and some true-hearted teenagers, male and female) that love of Christ/Christ's love will function as a chastity belt. If there's money to be made, the marketers will find every possible way to pry it from the wallets of the gullible.
Of course, and all Catholics know that, when women take the sacrament of Holy Orders, they are actually "marrying" Christ. And I have no doubt that there are times when spiritual ecstasy can feel sexual.

But your last paragraph gets at what I'm talking about.
This is another fascinating bit if analysis.
@Jeanette - Sorry if I misinterpreted the intent of your post. The only line I read as directly addressing the financial gains was this: "It is a complete sham, but people are getting rich off of it, and claiming that it's some kind of 'ministry'." Pull that line, and it comes across very differently.

Honestly, though, either way, you make points that are worth reading. What's cracking me up now is that I keep "defending" that which I left so long ago. I guess I still have the capacity to mystify myself!
Owl, no need to apologize. I really do appreciate your perspective.

No doubt there are some true-hearted teenagers who are trying to do their best. I don't fault them at all. I have a problem with the marketing machine that is trying to take advantage of them and their parents.
Before your post, I had not yet seen examples of Christian rock taken to this wierd - and I agree, exploitative - extreme. It's kind of hard to capture kids' attention these days, but I concur - this is just misleading and crass.
Rob, thanks for reading. I have seen your post on the "driveway Jesus"! I guess it's just that kind of day...
Hi annette, good to see you.

I will say again that this is a television show, and I'm sure this was meant to be somewhat of a parody. But, like all parodies, it has more than a grain of truth in it.
I understand where you're coming from, but (at least for me) the kind of spiritual love for Christ that was sung about in Christian rock music had nothing to do with sexual feelings or wants. Even though I've left most of my childhood beliefs behind, every once in awhile I catch myself humming a Christian song. Sometimes, I'm even nostalgic for my Christian rock.

I do think that Christian parents (at least those of myself and my friends) don't know how to talk about sexuality honestly and maturely. They just say: don't do it. That's just plain stupid. Also, I think being told that sex is sinful is downright (potentially) emotionally and mentally damaging. It also doesn't show kids/teens how to be honest with their feelings and wants and how to express them in a healthy way. I could go on and on.
I can remember listening to the other kids talk about Jesus when we were younger and I was struggling with disbelief. They made him sound like my best friend, my boyfriend, my father, grandfather, brother and teacher all rolled into one beneficent being. He sounded like a pretty good deal to me.

I remember listening to the Christian rock and being faintly disturbed by it all. It wasn't until later that I realized how sexual it all was.
G-ross. Is that a real song or did someone write it for the show? Gah! It doesn't matter anyway - it's just weird.

Good post - interesting.
creepy, creepy, creepy. I think if I stopped to reflect on some of the things that are done in the name of Jesus, I wouldn't be able to stop throwing up for a while, either.
I love this post and I love your take on the whole chastity belt thing. Makes no sense. Rated!