Well, OK, not really.

It's just that this bewitching time of year was made for the scary, the tacky, the trashy, B-movie horror cliches, psychobilly, gender bending, grindhouse, a pinch of Bettie Page bondage (sorry, bad pun), and a dash of goo goo muck.  In other words, The Cramps!

I'll never forget seeing them in 1980, at the now-long-gone Mistake, buried underneath the Agora Ballroom in Cleveland.  I thought they were the scariest group of people I had ever seen.  Lux Interior in some kind of vinyl catsuit, cut so low in the back you could see half his ass, and wearing high-heeled pumps. Poison Ivy with her unruly shock of curly red hair, looking like she just stepped out of a Russ Meyer movie.  And Bryan Gregory who, even though he was covered in flesh, resembled a walking skeleton more than a human being.  The fact that they had two guitars and no bass just added to the psychotic sound. This music was not at all mellow and it was not at all funky.

I couldn't imagine them being out in the daytime, doing ordinary things like going to the grocery store or picking up dry cleaning.  I could only picture them living in some kind of underground bomb shelter, avoiding sunlight, biting the heads off of small animals and drinking their blood.

But, beneath the debauchery, there was actually a sweet love story.  Lux and Ivy (Erick Purkhiser and Kristy Wallace) met in California in 1972, later married, and remained together until Purkhiser's death in 2009 at the age of 62. Certainly, they weren't Ward and June Cleaver, but knowing that they were together for 37 years makes their act all the more endearing.

There was also a local connection.  Lux Interior was actually from Stow, Ohio, close to Akron and Kent (and home of OS's dear, departed Placebostudman). His brother, Mike Purkhiser, fronted a fantastic power pop trio, The Action, which was one my favorite bands playing the Akron/Kent scene in the early 80's.  In fact, they were playing at JB's Down the night I met my husband.  Mike still lives in the Akron area, and runs a business repairing and refurbishing vintage amps.

And so, in honor of the season, I present a half-dozen of my favorites from The Cramps.  

Happy Halloween, Stay Sick and Turn Blue!

Garbage Man

Yeah, it's just what you need when you're down in the dumps, one half hillbilly and one half punk.  Eight long legs and one big mouth, the hottest thing from the north to come out of the south.  Do you understand?

 I Was A Teenage Werewolf

I was a teenage werewolf, braces on my fangs.  I was a teenage werewolf, and no one even said thanks.  And no one made me stop!

The Zombie Dance

At the zombie dance nobody moves.  They tap their toes.  Yeah, wiggle their wrists to get in the groove, yeah.

Human Fly

I'm a human fly and I don't know why.  I  got 96 tears in 96 eyes.

Strychnine

Some folks like water.  Some folks like wine.  But I like the taste of straight strychnine.

Finally, the piece de resistance, the crowning glory.  In 1978, The Cramps held a concert at California State Mental Hospital in Napa, California.  The whole thing was videotaped.  One wonders who was responsible for this. As a reviewer on Amazon says about the DVD:

"This DVD isn't for everyone. You must appreciate The Cramps and their humor. You must not be politically correct. I laugh with and at the patients in this DVD. The whole thing is just hard to believe. Never, in today's world, would this be allowed to happen. It's unique. It's funny. Drink some beer and enjoy the show."

Indeed.  

Here are The Cramps, performing the classic Jack Scott rockabilly tune, "The Way I Walk", for the patients of California State Mental Hospital. 

Somebody told me you people are crazy, but I'm not so sure about that.  You seem to be alright to me.