Hallucina

I Just Realized Earth Is An Anagram For Heart

jeanv999

jeanv999
Location
Miami, Florida, U.S.
Birthday
February 12
Bio
Writer on the make. My REAL blog- the one you should stop by- is at http://hallucina.blogspot.com This is just sort of the red-headed step-version that ocassionally deletes videos and the such.

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Salon.com
DECEMBER 22, 2011 12:02PM

Things Have Changed!


Direct yourself over to http://thetilting.blogspot.com Bookmark, follow, memorize, do what you gotta do. I'll be there for a while.

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DECEMBER 13, 2011 7:18PM

Slow Train Coming

The new Hallucina's E.T.A. is Christmas. We'll recap our time at Sonofhallucina, and I think the TILT is coming back, as well as Sight Unscene. Almost here.

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DECEMBER 8, 2011 5:48AM

A Broken Heart for Every Drop of Rain

I've been on a huge Muppets kick lately. Oh, Kermit, you my man! (Frog.)






Rowlf: Whoa, hey, broken heart, right?
Kermit: Does it show?
Rowlf: Listen, when you've been tickling the ivories as long as I have, you've seen a broken heart for every drop of rain, a/
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DECEMBER 8, 2011 1:40AM

JAKE COSANAVO’S PANTY-MELTING TIPS FOR A BANGIN’ FIRST DATE


JAKE COSANAVO’S PANTY-MELTING TIPS FOR A BANGIN’ FIRST DATE

By Hansel Castro

Love is a mad naked midget with a bow and arrow. Let me tell you about this date I just had. Her name was Silvia: Syllables worthy of a Muse!
… Read full post »
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OCTOBER 16, 2011 7:59PM

THE OFFSPRING

So I can't dedicate as much time to HALLUCINA, but I can't quite shut up. Now there's a tumblr. Son of Hallucina. It's simpler, shorter, meaner, more immature, but it still comments on the movies, books, music, tv shows, and internet nonsense I stumble into. ADJUST BOOKMARKS ACCORDINGLY SON OF… Read full post »
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OCTOBER 5, 2011 12:32PM

Ta Ta For Now

Dear Imaginary Reader:

I don't know who Atus is, but time to welcome him. Hi, Atus!



There's a few good reasons and perhaps the easiest to understand is that I am moving and my life is bound to be in total disarray for a while. The second…

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OCTOBER 4, 2011 6:49PM

"2020 Visions" - Jamie Delano



When writing your visionary sci-fi dystopias, always make sure to put them at least 50 years in the future. If you've got marauding rape-robots roaming the streets of New Neon York in 2013, you've also got a story that's embarrassingly dated before the paperback even comes out. Not that/…

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OCTOBER 4, 2011 3:33AM

"Restrepo" - Sebastian Junger and Tim Hetherington

In "Restrepo," you never see where the shooting is coming from. It falls down from the Afghan mountains that surround the Korengal Valley, where American soldiers have built the titular military outpost. The men, (kids, really, some with pimples in their haunted, startlingly young faces) might as wel…

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OCTOBER 4, 2011 1:22AM

Girls - "Father, Son, Holy Ghost"



One of the many reasons I avoid in-depth music reviews, (area where I freely admit my worthlessness) is because I think that, for me, time is more of a factor in music than in any other artistic field. I react to a movie as I watch it, to a/…

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OCTOBER 3, 2011 5:52PM

"X-Men: First Class" - Matthew Vaughn



I kid myself I'm a grown-up. Then something like "X-Men: First Class" comes along and if you're unfortunate enough to watch it with me you'll be exposed to this kind of excited patter:

"Well, see, Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence)? And Azazel? That bad guy that looks like the Devil?/…

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OCTOBER 3, 2011 5:30AM

"Air" - G. Willow Wilson and M. K. Perker


ABOVE: Here is flighty Blythe, unable to decide if it's day or night. That's not the only thing she'll be indecisive about.

Blythe is a stewardess who's afraid of heights. Wrong profession for someone who's afraid of heights, you may think. Maybe, but Blythe is completely nuts. It's a/…

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OCTOBER 3, 2011 3:52AM

"You Make Me Real" - Brandt Brauer Frick



Brandt Brauer Frick is not a law firm, but a German trio of music geeks who try to push John Cage into the dance floor. Their debut, "You Make Me Real," takes organic orchestra sounds and tries to adapt them to a club setting: minimalism is in the house./…

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OCTOBER 2, 2011 10:06PM

"Duets II" - Tony Bennett

Tony Bennett is so awesome. 98 and STILL putting absolutely no effort into his "Duets" albums.



Tony: "What's that? Lady Gagger collaboration? Sure, why not? Swell gal, swell gal. Judy's great-grand-daughter or something, right? Does the broad know 'The Lady is a Tramp"? We'll do that."
…

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OCTOBER 2, 2011 4:40PM

"Bridesmaids" - Paul Feig



Oh hey, look! It's "Bridesmaids"! The courageous feminist movie manifesto! The one that was boldly going to establish a woman's equal rights to shitting on screen!

Kristen Wiig is the "quirky if you're feeling kind/ irredeemable selfish if you're feeling mean" Annie. Annie's bakery business has cr/… Read full post »
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OCTOBER 1, 2011 8:56PM

"Paul" - Greg Mottola

"E.T." was lacking in dick jokes. "Alien" was lacking in Jason Bateman cameos. We can all agree on this.



What we can't agree on is "Paul." Greg Mottola's first-contact parody has the dick jokes and the Jason Bateman, (and the contributions of funny types like Bill Hader,…

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SEPTEMBER 30, 2011 1:33AM

"Rango" - Gore Verbinsky

And if French people can take over Westerns, why not lizards?



Gore Verbinsky, the merely reliable director of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" series, somehow manages to get better acting out of Johnny Depp than Tim Burton does these days. "Rango" is animated, with aggressively ugly designs, but…

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SEPTEMBER 29, 2011 6:29AM

"Lucky Luke" - Morris and Rene Goscinny

I'm a poor, lonesome cowboy, I'm a long way from home...



If there can be Spaghetti Westerns and Sukiyaki Westerns, why not Baguette Westerns? Asterix is Rene Goscinny's most famous creation, but lonesome cowboy Lucky Luke is a close second. WEEELL, Lucky Luke is the creation of Belgian/…

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SEPTEMBER 28, 2011 9:44PM

"Justified" Season 2 / "Eleven Eleven" - Dave Alvin


ABOVE: There are pictures of prettier people below.

I made Dave Alvin's acquaintance in a Season 2 episode of "Justified," rocking the sawdust right off a country bar. "Justified" is set in Harlan County, Kentucky, famous for the miner's strike documented in Barbara Koppel's Oscar-winning "Harlan C/…

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SEPTEMBER 28, 2011 5:50PM

LOSER DOG in: THE HOUSE OF SAND AND DOG!











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SEPTEMBER 28, 2011 1:51PM

"Room" - Emma Donoghue



SPOILERS AHEAD.

Jack is 5 years old. (An incredibly intelligent, verbose 5 years old one second, an alien babbler the next.) He's lived in "Room" all his life- a prison he assumes is the entirety of Planet Earth. He shares Room with his mother, who has been there/…

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SEPTEMBER 28, 2011 1:52AM

"Polytechnique" - Denis Villeneuve



In December 6 of 1989 a disturbed young man called Marc Lepine walked into Montreal's Ecole Polytechnique carrying a semi-automatic rifle. 20 minutes later he killed himself, after having murdered or wounded 28 people- mostly young women. A Canadian-Algerian immigrant whose misogynist writings made/…

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SEPTEMBER 27, 2011 4:36PM

"Transmetropolitan" - Warren Ellis - Volumes 9 and 10



There is an implied apology by Darick Robertson in the acknowledgments at the very end of "Transmetropolitan." He explains that he was giving the artwork all he could, even if it seems like he's given up. It DOES seem like he's given up: the quality significantly decreases and someone/…

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SEPTEMBER 27, 2011 1:41AM

"Incendies" - Denis Villeneuve

Q: When will there be peace in the Middle East?
A: Hahahahahahaha!



Denis Villeneuve's "Incendies" is a GO WATCH NOW proposition, at least until a jarring contrivance takes us from "thoughtful political mystery" into "All My Children" territory, (seriously, Villeneuve might as well have had someone…

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2011 7:53PM

Some Strange Music Draws Me In - Patti Smith - "Outside Society"



For a while as a kid I was working under the unforgivable delusion that Patti Smith and Pat Benatar were the same person. "Because the Night," "We Belong to the Night," same thing, no? At some point pictures, usually of the androgynous Mapplethorpe variety, cured, but it wasn't really/…

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2011 3:48PM

"Conquistadora" - Esmeralda Santiago



It's probably a little Anglo-centric to describe Esmeralda Santiago's "Conquistadora" as "Gone with the Puertorican Wind," but that's what came to my mind and that's what will come to yours. Ana (a stubborn Spanish beauty from the 1800s who migrates to the tropics to become a plantation owner) is/…

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