Hallucina

I Just Realized Earth Is An Anagram For Heart

jeanv999

jeanv999
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Miami, Florida, U.S.
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February 12
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Writer on the make. My REAL blog- the one you should stop by- is at http://hallucina.blogspot.com This is just sort of the red-headed step-version that ocassionally deletes videos and the such.

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Salon.com
SEPTEMBER 14, 2009 2:26PM

Neill Blomkamp's "District 9"- And Megan Fox- And Heidi Montag. GOD, Hallucina is KRAZY this Monday

Rate: 6 Flag

I'm not going to tell you that Neill Blomkamp's "District 9" is not a pretty good movie: that would make me the preposterous chihuahua barking at the giant spaceship hovering above Johannesburg. It's an intelligent, effective example of science fiction action with lots of humanity in a summer when we had settled for being given Megan Fox as the "human element" in a marvel of robotic summer incoherence like "Transformers 2."

Oh, no... I got started on Megan Fox! NOOO! INCREDIBLY LONG DETOUR:

LOOK at this woman:


Now LISTEN to this woman in her recent "Hallucina" interview.

HALLUCINA: "Thanks for sitting with us and posing for some pictures, we know you have a busy schedule of over-exposing yourself. First, let me ask. What defines Megan Fox?"
MEGAN FOX: "Yo, bro, I'm a talented artist, ain't nobody going to censor my fucking shit, I like to fuck, ok, I'm a bi-sexual and I fuck five or six women every day and maybe one guy and ain't nobody going to mess with this 'cause then I'll let the bitch come out and bite, you know what I mean, and I want to be respected and be in like Shakespeare or some smart shit like that. I'm for REAL, I ain't gonna let no Hollywood limpdick manipulate me! Mister Photographer, please, can I put on some clothes on now? 'Cause that AC's blasting like a motherfucker bitch."
HALLUCINA: "Will you have sex with me?"
MEGAN FOX: "I already did, I have super sex powers to have sex with everyone instantly, dawg, I inherited them from Marilyn Monroe who I'm re-incarnated from."
HALLUCINA: "What?"
MEGAN FOX: "FUUUUCKKK, keep up! I'm EDGY HERE!!!"

Later that day we had Heidi Montag stop by.

LOOK at this woman:


Now LISTEN to this woman in her recent "Hallucina" interview.

HALLUCINA: "Thanks for sitting with us and posing for some pictures, we know you have a busy schedule of over-exposing yourself. First, let me ask. What defines Heidi Montag?"
HEIDI MONTAG: "High five, "Hallucina"! I am so authentic, this is what my people love, I'm for real, I have my people's love, look at how many people follow my Tweets! I'm Tweetering right now, is that how you say it, Tweetering? I'm on "Hallucina" everyone- I'm saying that right now, this is what I'm doing, because this is how it is, just me 24/7 being ME and showing you everything about who's me..."
HALLUCINA: "Yes, ok, but who exactly ARE you?"
HEIDI MONTAG: "I'm ME, my personality is there for everyone to see, there are cameras on me all the time and I have nothing to hide and I'm sorry if people feel threatened by that but this is all the real stuff! Hehehe."
HALLUCINA: "Will you have sex with me?"
HEIDI MONTAG: "I'm just tired of all the drama and if people can't deal with how wonderful I am they better understand that I need to be like Heidi Montag and I'm not Lauren and I'm not somebody else, Spencer knows what I mean, right Spencer, whooo, high five me, baby!"
HALLUCINA: "Did you hear what I just asked you?"
HEIDI MONTAG: "All I have to say is that I don't see what the big deal is, I'm here and that's the way it is, the camera is there and that's how true this gets."
HALLUCINA: (walks away- she keeps on talking.)

It's so SAAAAD. It's like God builds these amazingly beautiful creatures and then when he gets to the brain he's like: "SCREW IT, I already went overtime on the body, I'll just throw an almond in there and hope people don't notice."

END DETOUR

So we were talking about alien creatures speaking incomprehensible nonsense. See, it's not entirely unrelated!



My "beef" with "District 9" is all about the cultural amnesia of its hype and not the product per-se. I praise its special effects, its action scenes, its cinematography. Everything, really, except its "ORIGINALITY". This is functioning more or less the same way that my anti- "Matrix"-defenses did. People kept on saying how mind-blowing it was and I thought: "Hmmm, sure, particularly if you have NEVER EVER EVER READ A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL. Hell, Keanu Reeves himself was already in an adaptation of William Gibson's "Johnny Mnemonic" where they talked about the matrix. Now, I don't blame you for not having seen that, but come on! And everything that wasn't stolen from William Gibson was stolen from John Woo."

How can "District 9" seem an "original" idea? The whole bit about putting the weird-looking-and-alien in a special district as a metaphor for racism and ghettos is DONE DONE DONE down to the titular. I just mentioned "District X" but heck, there was even a "District B-13"! And using aliens to explode racial myths is one of the basics of sci-fi. It can be done glibly as in "Men in Black", or intelligently as in "Babylon 5" or "Star Trek." It can be done cruelly, as in "Alien"!(One of the weirdest moments of my life was when I was given my "legal resident alien" status after arriving to the United States. I had seen the movies... I don't DROOL ACID!!! I don't burst out of people's chests!!! I'm a person!!! I'm not an ALIEN!!!)
Aside from the knowing and obvious nods to Steven Spielberg's "E.T." and David Cronenberg's "The Fly" and Ridley Scott's "Blackhawk Down", there are two particular unsung movies "District 9" really REALLY ramsacks for "Loving the Alien" ideas: Graham Baker's "Alien Nation" and Wolfgang Petersen's "Enemy Mine." These movies are not unloved: "Alien Nation", about the racial adjustment of aliens that have crash landed in L.A., spawned a short lived series. "Enemy Mine" made a strong impact on me as a kid. It's funny how there are much better movies I have seen in the last three years that I have completely forgotten, but I'll never forget how Dennis Quaid slowly learns to accept that the alien enemy with the incompatible skin and the clicking, annoying language has the same set of thoughts and emotions that he did, and eventually he has to save the alien's child and...


YEAH YEAH IT'S DISTRICT 9!!!

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I think you're right that District 9 is a smart collage of already done science fiction themes (and, as usual, your frame of reference is impressive), but I will still argue for its importance for one simple reason: the people who know science fiction like the back of their hand will not be impressed, but movies like The Matrix and District 9 bring Sci-Fi wisdom to those who are unfamiliar with it--the mainstream public. This is important because, even if it seems hackneyed to you and everyone else who has been there and done that, if people haven't been exposed to, say, every Philip K. Dick story, then I'd rather they get some of that vision through Blade Runner than not at all. This is especially true when the vision has sociopolitical significance, as most Sci-Fi stories do.
Caroline Hagood
September 14, 2009 05:13 PM
Well, yes. Don't get me wrong, I hearted the movie. This is one of those questions of context and of how we acquire information. Obviously, I firmly believe in the value of taking past stories and recycling them: the fact is every single day there will be someone new who hasn't been exposed to something from the past- and they should be. So yes, "District 9" is important. And it's a very moving film. But I had to be a contrarian because too many people told me: "Movies have never before treated aliens as metaphors for racism!" and I was like: "Hmmm, no, actually, they really really have!" Don't worry: twenty years from now when someone makes a movie called "Space Ghetto 17-X", we're going to go like: "AAACCCKKK they're just ripping off District 9! It's all been done!" May we have the wisdom to just accept that, well, you know the Biblical verse... nothing new under the space sun ;-) I just watched "Ponyo" and a jackass next to me was like: "It's crap, it's just like the little mermaid!" WELL, YES. It's a good story worth retelling, and an artist always makes it their own. In short, this wasn't a dig at the movie :-p
jeanv999
September 14, 2009 08:27 PM
Oh no, I knew it wasn't a dig at the movie. I can tell you hearted it:)
Caroline Hagood
September 14, 2009 10:20 PM
I agree with you on plot points, but I loved the 'style' of it and the writing was sooo good. Seeing something sci-fi that didn't look like it was stamped out of some cookie cutter mold was refreshing. I'm so sick of what's been passing for science fiction. I'm hoping that the success of District 9 will give an impetus for the movie industry to take a chance on some kind of originality and decent writers.

Great post.
sjflynn
October 02, 2009 06:17 AM
Enemy Mine was one of my absolute favorite films when I was a kid. Thoroughly under-rated and Dennis Quaid's finest acting moment, if you ask me. The story it's based on is also excellent. I am so glad to see someone else got the same thing from that movie and hasn't forgotten it in the 24 years since (god Bob, it's been how long?!).

I wish I could comment on District 9, but, alas, I haven't seen it yet.

Great post. One I agree with 100%. Thanks!
Aric Dante
October 02, 2009 03:38 PM
Re: sjflynn
Thanks! Is the artwork on your site your own??
jeanv999
October 02, 2009 04:58 PM
Re: Aric
I totally agree it was Quaid's best moment- althought I loved him in the Jerry Lee Lewis biopic- but you know, he's really kind of underrated- he just never quite knew how to market himself or take the best scripts.
jeanv999
October 02, 2009 05:01 PM
Enemy Mine! I loved that movie!

Your detour was hilarious.
Sandra Stephens
October 03, 2009 02:46 AM
The originality of the movie came not from the plot but from the presentation. I know we have all seen mockumentaries, but really how many movies have you seen - and sci-fi movies in particular - that began as a documentary, shifted to a more straight-forward narrative, then switched gears back to the docu-style? That was the originality I noted.
Peter Tenuto
October 03, 2009 01:07 PM
I did learn that some cat food is really better than others. Food for thought...Rated & Cheers!
Texas Bubba
October 04, 2009 08:02 PM
Re: Sandra
Thanks, I mean, I don't think I'm saying something people don't know, but geez, this girls who are over-exposed and glorified based on like that ONE stupid reality show or movie they did- give me at least a body of work that isn't appearing in "lad mags" all the time. Then maybe I'll listen to your thoughts about ecology.
Re: Peter
You noted that, but I think you're wrong and you're seeing it with the eye of a film-enthusiast who notices the film-making aspect of it. I think most people reacted to the "Aliens in Johannesburg" aspect of it. As for your dare, I can think of a few movies who do exactly that, from kind of an unexpected place: Woody Allen's "Husbands and Wives" and "Zelig", and what the heck, Woody Allen-like "When Harry met Sally".
And Re: Texas
No clue about that. I did once tried to eat dog food on a dare. It was rather like cardboard. And I can't believe I knew what chewing on cardboard tastes like.
jeanv999
October 04, 2009 09:07 PM
Re: Tomreedtoon
lol Points taken. I've actually dated a few (very few) pretty hot girls actually, but that was admittedly some sort of cosmic oversight!
jeanv999
November 29, 2009 02:45 AM
I wondered if anybody would notice the similarities between District 9 and Alien Nation. My big beef with the movie, however, was its schizophrenic theme(s). At times it was a commentary about racial harmony, at other times an examination of a man's personal evolution of character, and finally a simple action-adventure with plot holes big enough to fly a hovering alien mothership through.
Del Stone
November 29, 2009 05:21 PM
Re: Del
What I REALLY wonder is why this is by far my most read post in Salon...
jeanv999
November 29, 2009 05:36 PM
I wish I could comment on District 9, but, alas, I haven't seen it yet.

Great post. One I agree with 100%. Thanks!
Robert Frank, pdf search
Robert Frank
January 26, 2010 03:05 AM
DONE, DONE, DONE? Maybe so, but "District 9" was much more interesting, and more compelling, than "Alien Nation". (The only thing I really took away from that movie was that the aliens just LOVED rancid milk. Blech!) It is much more on par with "Enemy Mine", although we have to suffer through Dennis Quaid's dickishness and infantile attitudes in that movie, before he finally figures out that cooperation ensures survival. "Alien" was a different type of movie... really, it was the first horror movie set in outer space. I still remember the tagline: "In space, no one can hear you scream." That movie is still in my top 5 scariest movies of all time. I mean, what place on a spaceship is safe, when you can't run outside to escape the monster, and it can change shape, stalk you and your crewmates, and you don't know where it will be next? FWIW, I found "District 9" to be even more thought-provoking than "Avatar", for all the nice CGI tricks that the latter movie brought to the table. "District 9"s alien-human interaction was more sadly hopeful than "Avatar"s, and it just goes to show that an attractive movie with issues doesn't surpass a more realistic movie with issues. At least, not for me.

"District 9" For The Win!!! (And props to you for including David Bowie! He sang out about human and alien loneliness long before it was cool to make movies about it.)
ZaZaCat
January 28, 2010 08:45 PM
Re: ZaZa Cat
Oh, "District 9" is infinitely smarter about alien contact than "Avatar." The recent "STAR TREK" is infinitely smarter about alien contact than "Avatar". "Avatar" is a good looking movie but it's also unusually dumb even by sumnmer movie standards. The man used to have wit, but it's not in "Avatar". Technical breakthrough though it is, I will be a little sadenned when it almost inevitably wins the best Picture Oscar. I suspect most people side up with Avatar precisely because they know that's coming up, and think: "Well, if it's going to win, let's at least pretend it's a better movie than it really is."
jeanv999
January 28, 2010 10:26 PM
So in District 10 Heidi and Megan play aliens locked inside a district with a bunch of other aliens that look just like them. And they all eat cat food and lay about because the resident population won't hire them because they think they're lazy because they lay about and none of them work. Whadda think?
john walker
February 05, 2010 03:54 PM
Re: John Walker
Anything that involves cat fights AND cat food is a winner.
jeanv999
February 05, 2010 04:03 PM
I was disapointed in it for the same reason I liked it. The ship is what drew many people to the movie and we barely saw it. On the other hand they deserve some credit for not making another star wars movie which were laughable in all but their effects. It was less about the aliens than interactions. My problem was they would be all over the aliens for their technological secrets. Interstellar travel Transporting a million people is ridiculous. The aliens would very likely be a hell of a lot smarter than humans if they can get between stars, the nearest to ours being 25 trillion miles. I suppose if you wanted to make a comparison it could be to Ronoake. But I don't think you can travel deep space vs the deep sea and wander cluelessly around a ghetto eating scraps and getting high on cat food. Anyone getting here would be a lot smarter or 1000 years more advanced and would be treated as such, trying to mine their knowledge rather than just weapons. Energy production alone would have us studying them intently. And how a ship that size floats when its out of energy I dont know. Why expend the energy keeping it afloat, much less for twenty years. The movie was scientifically unrealistic.
Noirville Redencocker
February 05, 2010 08:05 PM
Oooh, very technically correct- but by and large this movie's "science" makes more sense than something like "Avatar's".

And, seriously, someone should tell me. I write posts daily, most of them far better/ funnier/ more topical/ insightful than this one- why am I still getting comments on this months later? :-p
jeanv999
February 05, 2010 08:23 PM
Perhaps because your idea of what's funny, topical or insightful is different from your readership's? That's not a criticism, just an idea. Maybe you need to figure out what you did differently here and apply it to your other work. I haven't read your other work so I can't make any specific suggestions. But I definitely liked what I read here.
Billy Priest
February 15, 2010 06:24 PM