One man's philosophy is another man's bellylaugh.

Jeff L. Howe

Jeff L. Howe
Strasburg, Pennsylvania,
April 19
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Jeff Howe is a bonsai enthusiast and harmonica player who has very good reason to believe that the Universe tastes like a cheap buck-fifty melon. He is a product of Walled Lake and a former Poetry Slam Champion of Milwaukee. He once shook hands with Rocky Colavito, opened for Leon Redbone and took a piss next to Mose Allison (no hands were shaken). All things considered, his best single day was July 4th, 1987 when he marched in the Marmarth, North Dakota parade in the morning, discovered a rare dinosaur skull in the afternoon, and then sat in playing harmonica with a drunken cowboy band until way past tomorrow. It's been downhill ever since. Jeff is a misemployed geologist who specializes in interpreting rock outcrops at 70 miles per hour. It's a gift. His daughter loves cows. ................................................................................................................... FOR MORE STORIES, PHOTOS AND HARMONICA RECORDINGS VISIT:


Jeff L. Howe's Links

AUGUST 12, 2014 5:46PM

My Twelve Seconds With Robin Williams

I lived across the Golden Gate Bridge in Marin County, California during the late 70’s and early 80’s.  At that time is was not uncommon to see Maria Muldaur or Grace Slick or Huey Lewis walking down the street or pushing a cart at the local market.  Robin Williams was a… Read full post »

AUGUST 8, 2014 2:50PM

Harmonica Box on the Huron River

Somewhere around the age of nine or ten, I became convinced that the headwaters of the mighty Huron River arose from the small cattail pond along the south side of the 7th hole at Morey’s Golf Course in Union Lake, Michigan.   I have since come to realize that its actual sourceRead full post »

Each time I move away from a place (which happens fairly frequently) the result is always the same.  Nobody asks, no one seeks my opinion, they just go ahead and go right on living and changing as if they didn’t even notice that I had gone.

Buildings go up, buildings… Read full post »

Bright and probably not so early tomorrow morning, my daughter Hyla and I drive up to Vermont for a long weekend of exploring and book signings in support of my book “How Do You Get a Whale in Vermont?” (Little Big Trees Press, 2014).

There are really four… Read full post »

It turns out  that all Thursdays look the same from 500 miles away.  The promised, but only now delivered, VPR radio interview with Jeff L. Howe, author of "How Do You Get a Whale in Vermont?" can now be accessed


HERE. Read full post »

FEBRUARY 26, 2014 5:42PM

Interview on Vermont Public Radio




For those of you who live in Vermont (and who amongst us doesn't live in Vermont?) I will be interviewed on Vermont Public Radio's "Morning Edition" tomorrow (thurs.) morning... not sure what time.

Actually the interview took place today... I had to drive through a drivin… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 14, 2014 12:00AM

Interview with Jeff Howe

This linked interview is running in the current issue of Seven Days - Vermont's Independent Voice.  It's about my new book "How Do You Get a Whale in Vermont?"

  Read full post »


In the early 1990’s, I lucked into the best job in the entire state of Vermont.  I’ve heard Gov. Howard Dean say the same thing about his old job but with all due respect to the difficulties of his office, realistically he’s looking at no better than second place. Read full post »

The polar vortex has been hanging out around my door a lot lately.  I’ve let it know in no uncertain terms that it must stay outside but still it insists on sneaking beneath my threshold and between the panes of my windows.  I swear, at times it seems to come right… Read full post »

JANUARY 14, 2014 12:54PM

What Does A Cut Soul Bleed?

”… one of those days…”

It’s a code phrase muttered in disgust and resignation.  It’s a code phrase for those days or weeks (or years) when all of the dark forces of the Universe swirl around you, spilling your coffee, making you trip over the cat, and tric… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 8, 2013 11:24AM

Taking It To The Streets


(I often wake up with partially formed paragraphs floating in my head.  They make little sense… they are based on dream fragments.  This is what I woke up with a couple of mornings ago…)

The way that the town’s grievances were settled had been firmly established/… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 6, 2013 9:34AM

The Last Slide Projector


The last Kodak Ektagrahic 35mm slide projector in my world has gone down.  It was one of three at the library of the local art college, but the only one that still worked.  In the end it fell victim to parts… or lack of them… plus I seemed to be/Read full post »


Every autumn, as the maples turn red and the winds shift to the north, I am again reminded that my Mom passed away on Halloween. It seems ironic that a woman as deeply committed to her God and her religion as she was would be forced to negotiate that lastRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 26, 2013 10:36AM

Breaking Bad A Day Late And A Dollar Short


This Sunday evening, while the rest of the world is gathered around their television sets watching the final episode of Breaking Bad, I will be locked in a dungeon of my own choosing.  Deeper than Jesse Pinkman, I will cower in a dark corner with my hands over my eyes/… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 11:14AM

The Physics of Little Old Men

 (Note: This piece originally appeared in


Little old men are like dandelions that grow in a spring lawn.  They pop up everywhere, they last a short while and then quietly wilt and pass away.  But just as quickly as they pass, there are new ones to take the/Read full post »

AUGUST 30, 2013 9:47AM

Writing A Book Is Like Moving


You waste a lot of time as you finish up writing a book… and unfortunately it comes at a time when there’s not a moment to spare.  It’s frustrating.  It bogs you down and saps your strength, but it seems to be an inevitable part of the process.Read full post »


The ancient and honorable art of throwing things has reached an apex of perfection in modern baseball.   Humans have learned to take a perfect sphere with an imperfect c0ver and launch it with pin-point accuracy from as far away as 400 feet and at speeds approaching 100 mph. 

TRead full post »

AUGUST 4, 2013 10:31PM

To The Close Friends of Serinita Lake


I never knew Serinita Lake and I doubt that I read more than two or three of her posts in the entire time that we coexisted here on Open Salon.  Actually, as I reflect on it, I think that one of us – I don’t recall which – made a/Read full post »

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AUGUST 3, 2013 1:22AM

In A Bar Thinking...


I am awash in grease and I stink of whiskey and chicken. 

As has become my custom this summer, I have come to this local watering hole for Friday Happy Hour where drinks are half-off and an endless stream of chicken wings are free and all-you-can-eat.  That’s right,Read full post »

JULY 30, 2013 12:48PM

Beware Of What You Dream


 A good friend of mine called from far away to say that she had a dream about me recently.  She told me that I died in her dream and she was very sad. 

“It was in the winter,” she said. “You were sixty-two.”

“That would be this winter,” IRead full post »


Of the hundreds of blogs, stories and essays that I’ve written over the years, three have gone viral and attracted a far greater response than others.  One was an article that I wrote taking fellow Boomers to task for being so predictable and stereotypical in their approach to motor/… Read full post »


1.     I DO wear socks with sandals.  It’s comfortable.  It keeps my feet from sweating and it prevents the inside of my sandals from getting slimy and dirty. I’m not talking about plastic flip-flops; I’m talking about leather sandals… ButRead full post »


Edward Snowden is a patriot.  The Government would prefer him dead but know that that would only make him a martyr... so they hope he will rot in anonymous statelessness.  Edward Snowden: you can sleep on my couch.

(Nod to Kathryn O'Hehir) Read full post »


In the movie “The World According To Garp”, a young couple are standing outside of a house that they are thinking about buying.  Suddenly a small airplane comes screaming out of the sky and crashes into the side of the house.  “I’ll take it,” says the hu/Read full post »

JUNE 23, 2013 11:06PM

What I (Still) Believe

(This evening, while I was working on my web site, I somehow pushed the wrong button, inadvertently sending my home page irretrievably into cyber space.  The next few hours were spent frantically reconstructing it.  However this did give me the opportunity to rewrite parts of it.  TheRead full post »