One man's philosophy is another man's bellylaugh.

Jeff L. Howe

Jeff L. Howe
Location
Lyndon, Pennsylvania,
Birthday
April 19
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Visit the website: jeff-howe.net
Bio
Jeff Howe is a bonsai enthusiast and harmonica player who has very good reason to believe that the Universe tastes like a cheap buck-fifty melon. He is a product of Walled Lake and a former Poetry Slam Champion of Milwaukee. He once shook hands with Rocky Colavito, opened for Leon Redbone and took a piss next to Mose Allison (no hands were shaken). All things considered, his best single day was July 4th, 1987 when he marched in the Marmarth, North Dakota parade in the morning, discovered a rare dinosaur skull in the afternoon, and then sat in playing harmonica with a drunken cowboy band until way past tomorrow. It's been downhill ever since. Jeff is a misemployed geologist who specializes in interpreting rock outcrops at 70 miles per hour. It's a gift. His daughter loves cows. ................................................................................................................... FOR MORE STORIES, PHOTOS AND HARMONICA RECORDINGS VISIT: jeff-howe.net

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JANUARY 20, 2010 11:43AM

In Praise Of Hitting A Tennis Ball

Rate: 12 Flag

“Mwwock!”

In an adrenaline surge, you gage the tiny ball coming towards you over the net.  It skims the tape, nose-dives with topspin, skims the court surface and heads on a low straight line to your right.  You have estimated where you can meet it waist high and about a foot out in front of you.  You are moving to THAT spot.

In your mind, you are already there.  Your body is slightly less convinced.

You fix your weight on your back foot and start a whip-chain that activates a series of arcs: your toes dig into the court to anchor your legs, your legs propel your hips, your hips rotate your back, your back whips your shoulder, your shoulder pulls your elbow, which in turn slingshots your wrist.  You catch the ball on the rise and power through it, rolling your hands in rhythm to impart top-spin and driving it over the net.

There is a clean and self-satisfying “Mwwock” that reflects back down the same path that the power just moved up.  It is felt first in the wrist, then the arm, then in the back, then in the hips, then in the legs, finally in the toes.

But the toes never really have the opportunity to savor the message – they’ve already focused on getting to that spot where you can catch the return shot on the rise, to power through it and drive it over the net.

 “Mwwock!”     

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Comments

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I love when the Australian Open comes on to signal a new tennis season!
Tennis is absolutely my favorite sport to watch, and like you, love it when the big tourneys arrive.
Glad to hear you enjoy tennis. I'd rather throw tennis balls to my retrievers. Not only do they like it, but happy dogs always makes me smile and feel good about the world. At least my little part in it at that time.
So THAT's what it's supposed to sound like. Mine always sound like "KA-THUD!!" and then "CLUNK" as it hits the person on the road. Then all that muscle, and toe stuff starts (oh... and the adrenalin too) as I run for my life.

My games are always so short.
Spinning and counterspinning the ball is in the heart of the art of tennis. For beginners I recommend watching women's tennis. Now, is the Australian Open your favorite? Who's your favorite players?

Rated for tennis.
I am a lousy tennis player - I always had trouble directing the shot, and there is something about the imapct of the ball and the physics between the raquet and the joints in my wrist, elbow, and shoulder that ends up causing me anguish after I've played (raquetball, with the shorter raquet, doesn't have the same effect) . . . but watching it . . . that's another story.
Kathy: It's rather like a new season of "Survivor" starting up...
Gramps: Retrievers have a little too much saliva in their grip
ChrisB: I think you should be glad that it's tough to bust a car window with a tennis ball.
Cat: The score keeping is somewhat archaic... still better than bowling. The problem with you Canadians is that you're used to getting whacked upside the head with a hockey puck and going "...one..."
Thoth: I've been a lifelong fan but Andy Roddick brought me back to the game, simply because he just GOES for it. He exemplifies what I've described above.
Owl: I once played a raquetball match against the #1 rated woman player in California. She absolutely cleaned my clock. I don't recall that I even won a point...
Owl:
Tennis was one game that never understood me.
Best damn description of a tennis shot I've ever read. Bravo!
R
Chuck: I feel that way about NASCAR
JohnB: Unfortunately, that shot was just a hair long...
I love the game! Rated
Yeah, nice ode to a noise. (Love the hard-hit noise, and then there's the mishit noise...)