One man's philosophy is another man's bellylaugh.

Jeff L. Howe

Jeff L. Howe
Location
Lyndon, Pennsylvania,
Birthday
April 19
Company
Visit the website: jeff-howe.net
Bio
Jeff Howe is a bonsai enthusiast and harmonica player who has very good reason to believe that the Universe tastes like a cheap buck-fifty melon. He is a product of Walled Lake and a former Poetry Slam Champion of Milwaukee. He once shook hands with Rocky Colavito, opened for Leon Redbone and took a piss next to Mose Allison (no hands were shaken). All things considered, his best single day was July 4th, 1987 when he marched in the Marmarth, North Dakota parade in the morning, discovered a rare dinosaur skull in the afternoon, and then sat in playing harmonica with a drunken cowboy band until way past tomorrow. It's been downhill ever since. Jeff is a misemployed geologist who specializes in interpreting rock outcrops at 70 miles per hour. It's a gift. His daughter loves cows. ................................................................................................................... FOR MORE STORIES, PHOTOS AND HARMONICA RECORDINGS VISIT: jeff-howe.net

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JANUARY 16, 2012 10:48AM

A Botanist And A Geologist Go Hiking In Vermont

Rate: 10 Flag

On a crisp and frosty autumn day, the kind for which Vermont is famous, two friends pack day-packs and set out to traverse the Green Mountains from Underhill to Stowe.  One is a botanist, a champion of all that is green and alive – the magical life forms that have learned to take the weak energy of the sun and transform it into sparkling sugars that power the living world.  The other is a geologist, a seeker of the secrets of the unliving Earth.  To the geologist, the world is a cathedral full of subtle and fabulous clues to ancient secrets just waiting to be discovered.

The two begin up a narrow path through deep woods and giant boulders of schist that have fallen from above in some distant time.  The trees are large and ancient, the woods are dark and sullen although beginning to thin with the falling autumn leaves.  The two friends talk of politics, common acquaintances and the beauty of the day. 

At a point about ¾ of the way up the western side, the two scientists decide to divert from the trail to investigate an interesting glen formed by a fresh water spring emerging from the bedrock and pooling in beds of gravelly sediment.   The life has changed greatly with altitude and the trees have become gnarled and stunted from bearing the brunt of the winds that build in the distant Adirondacks and then scream unbroken across the expanse of Lake Champlain.  Hardy lichens and mosses cling to the rocks.   Deciduous leaves have long-since been blown away.

Everywhere the rock is smooth and rounded, the remnant of a mile-thick sheet of ice that pushed its way up and over the very top of these mountains during the Ice Age.  Not even the highest point of Vermont’s tallest mountain escaped this grinding assault of ice.  Near the top, the climbers encounter a rare, denuded alpine environment not unlike the sparse tundras of ancient times.

But their trail has temporarily dead-ended and the climbers have no choice but to go up a smooth rock surface so finely polished by the fine sands at the base of the glacier that they can see their reflection in it.  It is smooth and cold to the touch like a granite countertop in a new kitchen.  It is covered here and there with delicate lichens and moss, grasping and clinging, who-knows-how, to the mirror-like finish. 

The botanist carefully avoids the green patches and scrambles perilously up the rock like a child trying to climb a playground slide.  The geologist steps lightly on the moss for footing and works slowly up the slope.  Stopping to rest, the botanist looks back and, seeing the path the geologist is taking, hollers: “Don’t step on the moss, you’ll kill it!”  The geologist looks down and then looks ahead to the botanist.  “The moss will grow back,” the geologist replies, “watch where you’re going – you’ll scratch the rock!”

 

(You can find this post and others on science, bonsai, exploding babies and Parkinson’s at jeff-howe.net)

 

© 2012, Jeff L. Howe. All rights.

 

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Comments

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Ha !
This will be one I'll need to remember in those moments when feigning wisdom is needed.
A commonality in our make up Jeff I think to some degree is in the first line of my post from last week: "Trees and stones."
Love the contrast between the two scientists, well I guess we all have our priorities! great post, made me miss those green mountains and the glorious trees!
r
This is a true story. The botanist continued to scratch up a fine 14,000 year-old glacial polish... the geologist continued to climb on moss.
Your hiking expeditions present intrepidations leaving readers asking what happens next. :)
Belinda: The hikers made thier destination in Stowe where multiple beers were enjoyed by all.
Cheers! :)

The hardest part is coming down.
Neat story, Jeff. I enjoy these walks through the ages and Vermont is my favorite state.
Nice to take a break from either/or thinking, of which there is so much these days. Where the answer to "so which one is right?" is "yes." (r)
Each of us sees the world from our own point of view. None of us is "wrong" - each of us sees some aspect of "truth." The trick is to see the world as others see it and, while disagreeing with them, not insist on our view as the only version of "true."
.
Good one. Everyone has there own "Thang"!
I would sure love to go hiking in Vermont...It's pretty here in Tennessee but all we have is grey limestone, and I like the beautiful granites and other hard rocks up there...
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♥╚═══╝╚╝╚╝╚═══╩═══╝─╚ For sharing an unusual journey...
Algis - I have no idea how you did that but it's very cool.
It's a good thing you didn't bring a zoologist along or somebody'd be stepping on animals.
Although you say it's based on truth, it sounds like a modern day fable. As fables do offers much to take from it.

R♥