One man's philosophy is another man's bellylaugh.

Jeff L. Howe

Jeff L. Howe
Strasburg, Pennsylvania,
April 19
Visit the website:
Jeff Howe is a bonsai enthusiast and harmonica player who has very good reason to believe that the Universe tastes like a cheap buck-fifty melon. He is a product of Walled Lake and a former Poetry Slam Champion of Milwaukee. He once shook hands with Rocky Colavito, opened for Leon Redbone and took a piss next to Mose Allison (no hands were shaken). All things considered, his best single day was July 4th, 1987 when he marched in the Marmarth, North Dakota parade in the morning, discovered a rare dinosaur skull in the afternoon, and then sat in playing harmonica with a drunken cowboy band until way past tomorrow. It's been downhill ever since. Jeff is a misemployed geologist who specializes in interpreting rock outcrops at 70 miles per hour. It's a gift. His daughter loves cows. ................................................................................................................... FOR MORE STORIES, PHOTOS AND HARMONICA RECORDINGS VISIT:


Jeff L. Howe's Links

DECEMBER 16, 2012 6:30PM

You've Got A Problem With Me

Rate: 10 Flag

I am outraged that some pathetic, worthless, infected hangnail of society with multiple assault weapons can enter an elementary school and shoot small, innocent children and their teachers so many times that they are unrecognizable.

I am outraged that the weapons and ammo were easily acquired from the murderer’s own mother’s gun collection – a woman who was apparently another paranoid, gun-nut, survivalist who raised her children in the culture of guns.

I am outraged that the NRA and other “pry my cold, dead fingers from it” Rambo’s cling to their foolish, outdated, colonial obsession with redcoats marching onto their farms and stealing their chickens, while children murder each other.

I am outraged at Rush Limbaugh and Little Hannity and the other fear and hate mongers that have whipped their little bands of impressionable nitwits into a frenzy of their own making.

I am outraged at the nitwits, dolts, idiots and morons who swallow this crap and then, without even taking a moment to think for themselves, forward it to others verbatim on social media.

I am outraged that anyone can be allowed to own assault rifles and huge clips of ammo.

I am outraged that for too many idle young men the world has become a video game.

I am outraged that, whenever these things happen, the good citizens flock to the churches to light candles and “pray”… as if all of the praying that they did last week did any good.

I’ve had all I can take, I won’t take any more.

I’m calling you out.

So if you are a whining, pathetic 20-something that lives with his mother and thinks that the world is nothing but a video game starring you and your little imaginary friend, then you have a problem with me.

If you think that the difficulties that face our society are the result of Liberals, the main-stream media and uppity women and negroes in Washington, then you have a problem with me.

If you have more than one simple handgun and one deer rifle in your home, then you have a problem with me.

If you think that wrapping yourself in the flag and the bible and worshipping at the altar of Limbaugh and Ted Nugent makes you a “patriot”, then you’ve got a problem with me.

If you are so foolish and short-sighted so as to believe that the tragedy in Connecticut could have been avoided if teachers all wore guns, then you have a problem with me.

And if you ever come to my school dressed like a storm trooper and try to hurt my children, I’ll grab the nearest child’s lunchbox and beat you to within an inch of your pathetic, miserable life.  Then I’ll shove your assault rifle WAY up your ass and throw you on the front lawn of the NRA.

This is a warning.

You’ve got a problem with me.

Your tags:


Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:


Type your comment below:
I'm trying not to spoil the succinctness of your case by glomming, but I too am outraged. (r)
I'm trying not to spoil the succinctness of your case by glomming, but I too am outraged. (r)
I'm trying not to spoil the succinctness of your case by glomming, but I too am outraged. (r)
"Outlaw dangerous lunchboxes!"

"... if teachers all wore guns ...." All of my soul wretches that someone would hope for this. Would that all who own guns of any kind step forward now and turn them in. Would that it were happening everywhere right now while all of this is fresh and raw. For some ... it will always ... be fresh ... and raw ...
I might just pass this verbatim into social media Jeff. I'm a little afraid of your lunch box, but I may just do it anyway. I'm witless that way.
you are no problem, just a ranter. average 30 people a day are shot and killed in america. not a sound from 'progressiveland.' one day that '30' was taken from progressiveland, cute little kiddiewinks in a town where garbage collection is regular and the susurrus of gunfire is never heard, and suddenly you've got a problem.

you don't know why those 30 people die, you don't care as long as it's not in progressive land, so ranting isn't gonna do much good.