"Nothing in Excess" was the inscription on the Temple at Delphi, and despite the fact that it closed for business a few years back, I doubt many people would disagree with that sentiment today. Yet in the convoluted world of food and dieting, this simple concept has been overshadowed both by theories of fanatical abstinence and the embrace of gross indulgence.
On the "less is more" side is the CRON or Calorie Restriction with Optimal Nutrition diet. Based on scientific studies, this theory holds that a reduction of caloric intake by as much as 30% from the average western diet can lead to longer life and minimize the effects of aging. According to various CRON websites, the studies that support this contention were carried out on monkeys, cows, rats, mice, fish, worms, and various insects. One website provides a colorful chart that lists the extended lifespan of various species on restricted intake:
Guppies top the list with an average 13 months extra life, white rats get an additional 10 months, bowl and doily spiders pick up 40 days, and protozoa, 6 days.
This is wonderful news for anyone who has ever felt the pain of reduced rat longevity or lamented how badly bowl and doily spiders were aging. One ardent devotee, gushes about test results showing that mice "retain a youthful appearance much longer." I'm sure this will be a great comfort to my wife whose blood-curdling screams this winter might have been mitigated if only our rodent intruder had looked more youthful. And remember, all you kids out there: Withholding a few extra grains from the top of the fish tank might keep your beloved pets a few precious days further from their Viking funeral in the family commode.
Most importantly, we all laud the tremendous strides made in solving the protozoan obesity crisis. What exactly scientists withheld to keep them svelte remains a mystery.
So much for creatures small and microscopic, what about humans? Another CRON website lists the following potential drawbacks:
• Feeling cold
• Having difficulty sitting comfortably
• Reduced libido
• Hating it
So not only does this diet severely restrict the amount and type of food you can eat, it also makes you cold, uncomfortable, sexless, and angry. You've got to wonder why it isn't more popular.
On the "more is more" side, one need only consider the oft-reported expansion of the national waistline to realize that the world's largest consumer society is largely consuming too much. Clues to the blubbering of America are not hard to find.
7-Eleven has done its part with its "Gulp" line of soft drinks. These are fountain drinks served in cups with straws, not bottles meant for consumption over time and intermediate storage. The Big Gulp holds a mere quart, the Super Big Gulp, 44 oz., and the Double Gulp, a full half-gallon. A Double Gulp of Coca Cola has 744 calories and 186 grams of sugar - enough, I imagine, to bring on diabetes in a blue whale. It's only a matter of time before 7-Eleven markets the Super Double Big Gulp, 42 gallons of your favorite soda served in a standard oil barrel. It'll come with a straw, but you'll have to bring your own forklift.
McDonald's is also in an inflationary mood, moving beyond the Quarter Pounder to the new Angus Third Pounder. I'm guessing we're about two years away from the Five Pounder which will be packaged in a disposable bowling bag.
Not only are we not ashamed of this excess, we exalt it. Eating competitions, such as Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, continue to proliferate and attract media attention. There is even a governing body for the "sport," the IFOCE (International Federation of Competitive Eating) which supervises and regulates contests, and also awards the coveted Mustard Yellow Belt to the Nathan's winner. I can think of nothing that would make a parent more proud.
The culmination of this trend is the Travel Channel's remarkable show, Man v. Food. A burly New York food maven, Adam Richman, travels the country and takes on insane eating challenges, including a twelve egg omelet, a thirteen pound pizza, and a seventy-two ounce steak. The show website refers to him as an "ambassador to all things delicious," but this is a ridiculous understatement. He is a lone warrior in the tradition of the Homeric heroes, knights-errant, and samurai, an Achilles for our gluttonous times who battles burritos and chicken wings instead of Trojans. I love this guy and I love the show, but it's not the best blueprint for rational diet and nutrition.
Can someone tell me how I get to Delphi?
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Comments
I'm doing my best to follow the CRAP diet (caloric restriction, alcohol profligately). Seems to be working.
This diet may not be popular where you live, but in Florida just about every man is on it.....or so I suspect from having to deal with the shivering, grumpy eunuchs around here.
Women, too, but like everywhere else, they're just called "w"itchy whether they are dieting or not.
R
R
Now I'm just bony, bitchy, and the other fun thing.
Con - Yogi did say, "If you come to a fork in the road, the knife and spoon gotta be somewhere close."
Elisa - Chocolate is now classified as a health food. Eat as much as you want.
Denise - I'm on a light diet. As soon as it gets light, I start eating.
Donna - The early bird may catch the worm, but I'd be cranky if I had to eat dinner at four in the afternoon.
Maureenow - ...which is the equivalent of 80 White Castle burgers. We're in Richman's league now.
sixtycandles - Fair enough, but it might slow you up a bit if you churn your own.
Ardee - The Vegas line is 43 for a stroke and 45 for a coronary.
John - Thanks, Pal.
vanessa - Sadly, writing this piece has made me hungry.
littlewillie - No, but I do want the fries with it.
cartouche - I see you've been reading Buddy Hackett's commentary on the Iliad.
L'heure bleue - Your plight reminds me of an old David Letterman joke: "I saw an ad in the Enquirer which said, 'Lose weight without diet or exercise.' That pretty much leaves disease, doesn't it?"
Should I feel shame for not knowing the difference, at first glance, between overweight and svelte protozoans?
R
Personally, I'm on the "see food" diet.
Sounds like many of the members here on OS (just kidding).
{[R]}
You have a way with words Jeff but add the chocolate and I'm yours forever!
The French and the Italians are fun to eat with, especially the Italians. And they have a lot to teach us.
Smithery - I'm a Diet Coke addict, and I've been told that the caramel coloring and carbonation are unhealthy too.
Lisa - In all honesty, the little bastard was too fast to tell how young he looked.
Trudge - It is our own damn fault, but they don't make it easy for us.
Cramky - I've seen it - the "trenta." Pretty soon they'll have their 1 bbl. size too, the "quarantadue."
mypsyche - I like to dip mine in mayo.
JustJuli - It is mesmerizing. I'm a spicy food fan, and his suicide hot wings segments are transcendent.
sweetfeet - No, just confused and susceptible.
ladyslipper - I want to try the burger in a doughnut.
L&P - Overeating is only one of many hazards for pet guppies in a house full of kids.
Diva - When a small drink is 12 oz. or more, we're all in trouble.
Larry - There are some people who are naturally CRON-like.
Libmomrn - Big Gulps are the dark side of hydration.
suzie - My dad was a reasonable eater...well, reasonable for a fifties meat-and-potatoes guy. It was the cigs that got him. Neither seems like a good idea.
Little Kate - I had to cut it out completely. I have no restraint when it comes to that stuff.
geezerchick - I want to patent the first amoeba treadmill.
aim - Me too! Is Nick's Nest still open on Rte. 5?
ClarkK - The flies are kept on the Atkins diet but are only allowed lean rotting proteins.
Boanerges1 - Thanks for the kind words.
Eva - That's the kind of moderation I like.
Nikki - You and me, Tre Scalini, Piazza Navona, 8 PM.
SheilaTGTG55 - I've been there...many times. Best of luck.
People want the quick answer, the magic bullet, the key from the latest authority or guru, whether it be calorie counting that would make a fascist proud or permission to eat 13 pounds of pizza sans guilt (guuhh)...and we forget that no one inhabits our bodies besides ourselves. It's strange that people are more willing to hop on these crazy bandwagons than to just observe their eating/exercise/living habits and see how different choices make them feel. Because really, it's all about being healthy and feeling good, yes?
Oh and also, you're one funny man, Jeff Brawer!
We in this nation like to pick one or two things as the villains and ignore the rest. Poor health and good health are controlled by diet, environment, stress levels, and physical activity. I bet a smoker with a good diet and exercise habits is just as healthy as a non smoker with poor eating and exercise habits.
My father died of cancer at 70. He smoked 2-3 packs per day and was an alcoholic. My grandmother was a moderate smoker (less than 10 per day) and drinker. She died at 86. You could say both were smokers and drinkers, but the major difference was one was moderate and the other was not. By the way my grandfather did not smoke and died at 82.
My personally creed is all things in moderation and live each day as fully as you can and stop worrying about what is going to kill you, because no one gets out alive.
Only women were allowed to breathe in the toxic volcanic fumes at Delphi, so they could hallucinate.
Iceland has a volcano, there are some pretty reasonable volcano tours, really good ribs if you can eat half a cow or lamb. I have never seen one of those little "heart healthy" things on a menu. Butter is used in every thing, real butter. It's lovely. But, obesity is not a national health crisis because people are more active than in the US.
Rated.
The portion sizes have blown my mind already. A medium McDonald's meal here is equivalent to our large size.
It inspired me to write a post on food in America from an Australian's point of view. Feel free to check it out :)
From Lachy