A few weeks back, it was announced that Italy was looking for a corporate sponsor to help defray the restoration costs of their most popular tourist attraction, the Colosseum in Rome. In exchange, said sponsor would be permitted to place advertising on the outside of the structure.
I have no great ethical or aesthetic problem with this. The original amphitheater, built between 70 and 80 CE, was festooned with all kinds of ads, hawking politicians ("Vote for Claudius Decimus. the 'meister quaestor,' for this year's consulship!"), clothing manufacturers ("Galba's togas are never bogus."), foods ("Enjoy Ciceroni, the farina from Gallia Cisalpina") and even fan novelties like foam gloves with huge thumbs for sealing the fate of that day's combatants.
And recently, a team from the University of Rome uncovered the following series of tablets spaced along the Appian Way:
He scraped his face
to try and please her
but ended up
like Julius Caesar
Burma-Shave
This promotional method, wildly successful as a series of wooden signs on US highways during the 30's and 40's, was thought to be a strictly American phenomenon. But archaeologists from around the globe have found similar artifacts near their own national monuments, suggesting a much older origin and hinting at a less invasive way to commercialize tourist sites in the future.
The Taj Mahal
His face was rough
she wouldn't see 'im
and all that's left
is a mausoleum
BURMA-SHAVE
The Great Wall of China
Five thousand miles
of brick and rubble
because he couldn't
control his stubble
burma-shave
The Oracle at Delphi
She'd prophesize
in pools of vapor
because his beard
felt like sandpaper
BURMA-SHAVE
The Sphinx
his oddball gaze
is not a puzzle
his hairy cheek
she wouldn't nuzzle
Burma-shave
The Statues on Easter Island
THeSE somber gents
don't stand a chance
save for a shave
to find romance
burma-shave
Stonehenge
young druid MAIDs
become evasive
IF BOYFRIENDS' mugs
are too abrasive
burma-shave
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Peter Lehndorff
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Comments
They did raise
Upon the walls
Their brains displayed
Spic and Span? Mr. Clean?
Anyway, your brains, as always, are right on target. Great post!
R
When I was a kid, the my favorite signs said: DON'T STICK YOUR ARM/OUT TOO FAR/IT MIGHT GO HOME/IN ANOTHER CAR/BURMA SHAVE.
Very cool post!
I feel so ashamed ...
Good to see you back.
Two Burma Shaves I remember: DINAH DOESN'T/ TREAT HIM RIGHT/BUT IF HE'D SHAVE/DINAH-MIGHT!
And, the genuinely puzzling: FREE FREE/A TRIP TO MARS/WITH TEN THOUSAND/EMPTY JARS.
I think that last one was from another lost civilization.
Bonnie, Owl, Nikki, Jonathon, susanmihalic - Thank you.
Donna - That not only describes the Roman Senate but our own as well.
Token - Where's von Däniken when you need him?
John - An idiot maybe, but not mad.
Ralph - Among my faves are "These signs /We gladly
Dedicate/To men who've had/No date of late." and "If your peach/Keeps out/ Of reach/Better practice/What we preach."
Take a look at: http://burma-shave.org/jingles/
Geoffrey - You created the first Dada Burma-Shave signs. Way to go!
sixtycandles - You're right, that last one is pretty wierd. Imagine the series if Burma-Shave had lasted into the late 60's.
r
was heard at Knossos,
but the poor old drunk
still died of cirrhosis.
Burma Shave
(Hey, I'm trying to juggle this and limericks over at GWool's post. What do you want from me?)
HAIR STILL GROWS
ON THOSE IN CRYPTS
EVEN DEAD MEN
WHO FELL OFF SHIPS
BERMA-SHAVE