Even as a child Senator-to-be Ricky Santorum was developing his authoritarian ideology.  While watching the hit, at the time, CBS sitcom 'The Beverly Hillbillies' Ricky would shoot the TV screen in the Santorum living room with suction cup tipped darts from a toy pistol.  Little Ricky was scandalized by the display of Elly May's cleavage but more importantly he objected to the derogatory portrayal of Amerikan capitalism in the constant humor generated at the expense of the working-class hillbilly Clampetts' uncouth down-home ways when transplanted to the posh environs of Beverly Hills.  "The CBS executives will DIE in my Amerika, when I have something to say about it," he wrote in the margins of his school catechism.

Little Ricky also wanted to 'off' the following list of societal threats:

1)   The Good Humor Ice Cream Man...Ricky didn't approve of the naked display of ice cream cones, their blunt noses tapering down to a crispy point. "Ice cream should not be contained in a cone...too much like a CONDOM!" little Ricky thought to himself, his mind already schooled in the rigors of Roman Catholik Thomistic thinking.

2)   The membership of the local chapter of the Pennsylvania Hot Air Balloon Association...  "Those balloons are gigantic, demonic replicas of...DIAPHRAGMS!" he noted in an epiphany of Catholic religious understanding.  Little Ricky was familiar with the concept of the diaphragm when one day he saw the one belonging to his Aunt Beryl affixed to the head of her marriage bed with a safety pin.  Gray matter was not profusely distributed among the extended Santorum clan it seems.

3)  The editors of National Geographic magazine... All those naked Nubian women dancing in tribal ceremonies with...EXPOSED AFRICAN MAMMARIES!  National Geographic was in league with the Devil to be so wantonly displaying such primitive flesh and distracting the catechism work of pious adolescents like the Santorum boyz.

4)  All those young women who dared to walk around the streets with their clitorises and labial lips still intact.  Their ever present carnality was constantly mocking the holiness of the nuns in catechism school who had in fact had their clitorises excised and expunged a long time ago as part of assuming Holy Orders.  Ricky made a vow that one day he would make a gigantic Bonfire of the Vanities of all the clitorises and labial lips still extant...but first he had to tame his own inner passion for nerdy fashion...SWEATER VESTS!  He would flagellate his micro-penis in penance and seek Absolut...no, hic, not the vodka...Absolution, or at least a cold ablution.

P.S.   PLEASE TELL THE WHOLE WORLD ABOUT THIS POST!  There is no more important issue facing the public today than Rick Santorum's attitudes toward birth control, premarital sex, gay sex, bestiality, the saving grace of Holy Mother Church in cases of carnal sin, marital foreplay, or the lack thereof, the female astride superior reverse mount position, teen age girls' sex education, nymphomania, satyriasis, masturbation, fellatio, auto-fellatio, frottage, heavy petting, blue balls, ovulation, or the lack thereof, gynecological examinations, date rape drugs, erotic enemas, penile implants, labial reductions, anal lubes, Viagra, amyl nitrite, mutual masturbation, dry humping, bum burning, coitus interruptus, the 'vagina dentata', fetish gear, MILFS, multiple orgasms, simultaneous orgasm, female ejaculation, bondage and discipline, cuckolding, wheel chair sex, necrophilia, the male chastity device, adult circumcision, Cougars, granny sex, monopede mania, dwarf sex, clit ticklers, the G spot, prostate massage, milking, erotic lactation, ramming, labial stretching, vaginal infibulation, role playing in the bedroom, the 7-year itch, onanism, hymenoplasty, pessaries, vaginal suppositories, double penetration, strap-on dildos, dildo harnesses, anal fistulas, cucumbers as sex toys, silicone dildos, double-headed dildos, ben wa balls, latex coatings, edible panties, 'bearing down', crotchless panties, rimming, wanding, cream pies, PCV costumes, bustiers, corsets, butt plugs, Kegel exercises as 'sexercise', fisting, genital piercings, cum shots, etc.   Please click on this post as many times as possible to make your political priorities known to the world so it will go viral and OS will have TWO viral posts on the profoundly Katholik obsessions on sexuality and women's naked bodies of sanctimonious Ricky Santorum...wink