I met an incredible lady a couple of weeks ago and I only know her first name, Nancy.  It was my wedding anniversary and I had just hit my 20 pound mark for my weight loss, so I went to the nearest mani/pedi place to have my feet done.  My therapist told me to do something nice for myself - other than chocolate (I'm a new diabetic).  We really don't have the money for silly things like pedicures, but I had, had a garage sale and thought this might help encourage me to keep up the diet and exercise. 

I went by myself.  When I got there, there was only one other woman in the area where they have you soak your feet.  She smiled and introduced herself as, Nancy.  She was heavy set, not nearly as much as I am, but it put me at ease.  Her face was kind, she was well dressed and she had a very smart hair style.  I was a mess!  T-shirt, sweats, and hair pulled up with a clip - no makeup.  I sat down and sheepishly explained that it was my anniversary and I promised my therapist I would do something nice for myself when I lost 20 pounds.  I went on to explain that I was diabetic and had also been diagnosed with a heart condition and was in cardiac rehab. 

"There's a reason you sat next to me today!  I just knew there was a reason when you sat down!" she exclaimed. 

Nancy had also been through cardiac rehab at the same hospital and she was a long-time diabetic.  We talked some more and I told her about the stress in my life that had probably contributed to my conditions.  About my two sons and the financial strain we had been under to get them treatment. 

Nancy told me she was a preschool teacher at a Montessori school and she had taught several children with autism.  She knew where I was coming from.  She encouraged me to splurge and get the deluxe pedicure and a manicure.  Reluctantly I did, and it was fabulous!  We talked some more about the frustrations of "the system" and how hard it was to get a good education, or proper medical care for special needs children.  How silly it is that health insurance doesn't cover therapy for autism - speech, occupational, physical, or behavioral therapy. 

I got up to leave and went to pay, after my hot pink nails had dried. 

The owner of the shop said, "no charge."

"What!?" I asked.

"No charge for you.  The lady back there said she was paying your bill."

I went completely numb all over and I'm sure my face turned beet red.  I went back to where Nancy was just finishing up.

"Did you pay for me?" I asked.  

She nodded and smiled.

"Thank you.  No one has ever done anything so nice for me before!  Thank you so much," I stammered and started to cry. 

"You deserve it honey.  You have a lot to deal with," I remember her saying.

I hurried out of that shop so fast because the tears were really coming on.  I didn't know what to do, but just thank her.  I am so used to no one understanding.  I've almost convinced myself that having two boys with autism isn't so bad, but the truth is that it IS hard.  My life is so hard my hair has fallen out, my blood pressure is up, and I've put on so much weight.  I feel like I'm in fight or flight mode all the time.  Our school district wouldn't give us ABA without a lawyer, or insurance won't pay for what our son's need...  it never stops.  I know I'm just one of many parents going through this same thing, but it's hard and it does suck!  The worry, the lack of sleep, the therapists in and out of the house, the hours of driving from school to school, or doctor to doctor can all wear you down. 

I don't sleep with my husband anymore.  He sleeps on the couch because we are afraid our youngest son will escape at night.  Max still gets up every night.  Last night my husband slept in our bed and it was so unusual.  We've slept apart almost every night for about 4 years.  I HATE IT!!!  Thank God I married a wonderful man who is committed to me and his children.  Most marriages end with the stress of finances and everything else.

When Nancy looked at me with compassion and real understanding, I lost it.  I sat in my car and just cried for 15 minutes before I could drive away.  That someone cared was so touching.  The realization that I was doing something really hard hit home.  I DO need to treat myself a little nicer.  I had been neglecting my health and completely let myself go - not good for my family, or me. 

I think Nancy was an angel.  I know she's a real person, but people act as angels when you are at the end of your rope.  I've had a few encounters now.  When God nudges at your heart to help someone "just because" I think you get to be an angel for that moment.  We've seen it in a service coordinator who helped us get services until our boys were 3.  A speech therapist who shared her personal stories and struggles with autism to help us was also our angel.  It may sound silly and simple, but I believe it. 

I posted our "chip in" website on this blog and my Facebook page and the first two people who reached out to help were complete strangers; two moms who know where I'm coming from.  I want those mothers to know that I promise to reach out one day and pay it forward.  God bless you!  God bless you all!