I weighed 264.0 this morning.  That was fabulous, but what happened this evening was even better.  My husband and I went out to eat, and return a coat at Kohl's Department Store.  We were able to sneak out without the kids for the first time in a long time (they had a babysitter of course).  Several things about tonight were just amazing to me.  First, I slid into the booth at the restaurant without any problem.  Later, after we stood to leave, I had no trouble reaching over to grab my handbag which was placed all the way against the wall at the far side of the booth.  Simple things to many, but for me HUGE!

I'm not as self conscious when I'm out and about.  I don't feel as though all eyes are on me because I'm the biggest person in the room.  Whenever I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror or window I would be puzzled and then horrified that I was the very heavy, old woman whose reflection was staring back at me.  Tonight I looked in a three way mirror and couldn't believe how much of a difference a 36 pound loss has made!  I thought maybe it was a trick and I made sure to turn around and look in all three mirrors.  I was happy with what I saw for the first time in years and years.

My backside has dropped.  When you are unbelievably large your behind expands outward AND upward.  It was hard to tell where my lower back ended and my tuckus began.  My derriere is now more contained - less obscene and deformed looking.  My husband even patted it as we were leaving the store and he said, "You do look smaller!" 

I'm happy to know I do have a "normal" shape under all of this fat.  I will never take my shape for granted again.  I may be round and never considered skinny, but I will NEVER again be morbidly obese!!!  It's like being in prison, a very sad and boring prison.  I shopped tonight without pain, people!!!  My knees didn't ache, and I wasn't limping because of the pain that was so often in my hip whenever I would walk even a short distance.  The two pair of jeans I bought just a few weeks ago now fit perfectly.  So much to be thankful for!

Here's to 264!  Only 109 more pounds to go!!!