Out of Context

Jerry Kavanagh

Jerry Kavanagh
New York,
April 19
Jerry Kavanagh is a former Assistant Arts Editor at New York Magazine, Editor in Chief at Conde Nast's Street & Smith's Sports Group, and New York Bureau Chief at SportsBusiness Journal.



APRIL 16, 2012 3:04PM

Old and Not Cool

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Lining up the children in this morning’s kindergarten class just before dismissal on a sunny day, I had my sunglasses on top of my head.

“Why do you have your glasses there?” asked one boy.

We’re still indoors, I told him. I don’t need them right now. As soon as we get outside, I’ll flip the sunglasses down over my eyes.

“Let’s see how they look on your face.”

I complied.

“Cool,” he said.

I try to look cool, I told him, but it usually doesn’t work.

“Whybecause you’re old?”

Probably, but …

“How old are you?”

Before I could lie, the estimates started:

“A hundred?” was one guess.

“Eighty?” was another.

I gave them both detention.

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You were so right to give them detention. It's the age-old cliche, for lack of a better description. Socially speaking, "Your father is a drunk" is much worse than "My father is a drunk."